Page 72 of First Comes Forever

“I am not a chicken coop.”

Dr. Michel chuckles, and I’m not sure if he realizes Adam is being dead serious. “We are going to be aggressive about the follicle stimulation, so we will get as many eggs as we can. But I warn you, the treatment can have side effects—namely severe nausea, mood swings, fatigue.” Dr. Michel removes the pen tucked behind his ear and points at me, then at Adam. “I’m very glad you’re not doing this alone, Ms. Rhodes. Sometimes a solid support system is the magic ingredient for success.”

Dr. Michel’s radio buzzes again, and he grumbles as he rises. “I’ll see you in a few weeks. Oh, and I should mention, intercourse is completely fine until embryo transfer and then it’ll be strict pelvic rest.” He raises his thick eyebrows in warning before he exits the room, leaving me alone with Adam and the stupid, cheesy grin on his face.

“Are you smiling like that because he said we can still have sex? Or because he called you the magic ingredient.”

Adam kisses my forehead. “Yes.”

eighteen

Tapping my fingers against the granite countertop, I look around at Reese, Addie, and Quinn, who are trying to busy themselves on their phones as we sit around Noa’s kitchen island. Noa’s avoiding the awkward lull by meticulously reloading the dishwasher because the dishes in the cabinets she just put away had water spots. As soon as she starts the dishwasher, the aroma of lemon and mint fills the spacious kitchen and she’s left with nothing to busy her hands.

This is bizarre. It’s never this quiet when we’re all together.

Despite my current discomfort, it feels good to be home. I missed the elevation. The view of the mountains. The sweltering dry heat. Colorado doesn’t have the beaches, but between the tacos, microbreweries, and the majestic mountain ranges, my state is superior in every way.

The start of my visit home was pure happiness. I spent a whole day with Mom, who is still blissfully unaware of the drastic price increase in her treatment. But she looks great, her mobility is fantastic, and most interestingly, based on the way she blushed when bringing up her new physical therapist, I believe she has a new crush. Questionable ethics aside, I’m happy for her.

Unfortunately, the second part of my trip is less pleasant. The love story we were all rooting for has come to a close with a twist we didn’t see coming.

Groaning, I pull my hand down over my face. “Come on,” I say, cutting into the silence. “Let’s just talk about it.”

“Guys, I said I’m fine,” Noa insists, holding her hands in the air. “I mean it. It sucks, it does. I’m not delusional. Of course it’s not how I hoped things would go, but Chase is doing the right thing, and so am I.”

Quinn whips her head around and shoots me a glance. She juts her chin toward Noa, giving me silent instruction to try again. We’re all close, but Noa and I have a sisterhood that started long before we knew Addie, Quinn, and Reese existed.

“Look, Nono, I’m just going to ask, and don’t hate me for it,” I beg her. “Chase didn’t cheat on you. He obviously loves you and Jonah. Are you walking away because you think in the end, he’ll choose Kayla? Because I don’t think that’s true.”

“Blended families are a very normal thing. You guys could work it out and there’s simply another baby in the world to love, right?” Addie asks. Her expression is contorted, full of apprehension. None of us know if we’re allowed to say how we really feel.

The truth came to light at Jonah’s birthday party two days ago. Chase went back home early. The ring he bought for Noa was still in his pocket. I called Adam in private, asking him to fill in the details because my best friend could barely speak. She’s in pain like I’ve never seen before and it wasn’t the right time to interrogate her.

From what I understand, Chase and his ex, Kayla, were together one last time before he finally realized too much had changed and he needed to cut ties. The next day, he met Noa, and his entire world shifted into clear focus about who he was and what he wanted. He needed the kind girl, the sweet girl. The girl who didn’t care what was in his wallet and just wanted to help mend his heart. And it should’ve been happily ever after. But almost three months later, even Kayla was shocked that she was pregnant. She only found out when she overdosed.

Now Adam’s scrambling once again to prevent a scandal and take care of his best friend. I wish I could tell Noa that according to Adam’s updates, Chase is distraught, torn, feeling like he’s paying the price for a crime he didn’t commit. It’s lunacy. They should be together, talking this through, working it out. To be honest, I wish Noa had chosen differently.

Noa folds her hands together and extends her forefingers, tapping them against her forehead. “I know I was first to motherhood, but one day when you guys have your own babies, it’ll make perfect sense why I did what I did.”

“Please try to explain, so we can help,” Quinn says.

Reese adds, “We are on Team Noa, no matter what you do.”

Noa draws in a deep breath and releases it. “I’m not scared that Chase would end up picking Kayla. I’ll admit, the news was shocking, but I don’t doubt how much Chase loves me. No way I could love him like I do if he didn’t feel the same in return.”

“So then why walk away?” Addie asks softly.

“Kayla is an addict, and Chase isn’t sure she’ll get better. That means this baby is on his shoulders. He can’t afford to be distracted, especially when he already has an impossible career to balance, and now…” She exhales and steadies herself by pressing her hip against the countertop. “He has to focus on giving this innocent little baby everything he can. Chase can only have one number one priority, and that’s his daughter. I won’t take that from her. I don’t want him to be with his daughter, wishing he were with me. That baby shouldn’t be raised by nannies and assistants so Chase can be under the covers with me or playing dinosaurs withmyson. You see, I’m not in competition with Kayla, but Chase’s daughter? That’s a competition I shouldn’t win. So I’m letting him go not out of spite, but because I love him. And I know how much he wants to be a good dad.”

Noa’s speech alone was enough to send me to tears. But with the added estrogen pills, I’m losing control of my emotions.

“Dear God, Mani, are you okay?” Quinn asks, and then her smooth arms are around me.

“Don’t hug me,” I sniffle, then point to Noa. “Hug her. I’m fine. It’s the damn estrogen pills.”

“Why are you taking estrogen pills?” Reese asks.

Ah, fuck.Slipped. I decided I would tell my friends if and when I become pregnant. I don’t want to share things that aren’t set in stone. It’d only make it harder to let them go if my friends knew. For now, IVF, and Adam, remain my little secret.

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