Page 37 of First Comes Forever

She laughs off my concern in breathy huffs. “I’m not too prissy to sleep on an air mattress for a few months, Adam. It’s not like I’m staying here for long.”

I know I should be moving my feet now, making my way to Dad, but her response trips me up. I think I misunderstood this whole situation. Amani must not see my condo as a home…just a hotel. And now I’m wondering if I offered to help her tohelpher or tokeepher here. Fuck, is it me? Am I the one blurring lines?

“I told you I’m not renting this place out anytime soon. You don’t need to rush.”

She squints at me like I’m confused and jostles her head in a subtle shake. “I can only afford a couple cycles of IVF, Adam. Whether or not it works, in a few months, I’m moving home.”

Alex gently clears his throat, reminding me he’s still standing there, listening to our conversation.

“Shit. We should go,” I say, speaking to Alex but keeping my eyes locked on Amani’s. “Piermont is an hour drive from here. We’re wasting precious time.”

“Wait,” Alex says, solemnly shaking his head. “It just dawned on me. Carson’s still napping in the guest room, but I don’t have a sitter. No way I can get one in time, and we can’t bring him. You go, Adam. I can help Amani unpack some things until Carson wakes up. Just tell Dad I’m doing well and I love him, okay?”

“I’ll watch him,” Amani chimes in before I can say a word. “You should see your dad.”

“Really?” Alex asks.

“Yeah, actually Carson’s age is my forte. I watched Noa’s son all the time when he was a toddler. You brought diapers and wipes, my iPad has YouTube Kids, I’ve got juice boxes in the fridge, and I’ll order in some chicken nuggets. We’ll be totally fine.Go.Both of you. As long as you need. It’s the least I can do after all your help.”

“Wow, I…” Alex starts but doesn’t finish his statement. Instead, he looks at me for approval. To him, she’s still a stranger. He needs to know if I trust Amani with his son.

“She can more than handle it,” I tell him, watching Amani’s eyes light up at my vote of confidence. “Amani, I’ll text you Alex’s number. Call us if you need anything, and we’ll come right back.”

She nods. “We’ll be fine.”

“Well, he already knows the word ‘fuck’ but try not to say any other cuss words around him, if you don’t mind? His mom is going to chew my ass to shreds when she comes back.”

She laughs. “Noted.”

Amani follows behind Alex and me as we exit the closet, walk through the master bathroom, then out of the bedroom and into the main living room. I forgot how big this condo is. It’s small in comparison to my current house, but for a starter home it wasn’t too bad.

“Here’s your phone, Adam,” Amani says, swiping it off the kitchen counter and holding it out to me. I wrap my hand around the phone and her hand, holding it for just a moment.

“Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to us. Every second we get with our dad these days is precious.”

“That makes sense. But I am curious, won’t your dad want to see his grandson?”

“He doesn’t know Carson exists,” Alex cuts in from the doorway. He’s collected his keys and wallet and is waiting patiently at the front door. “It’s easier that way.”

“I’ll explain later. Bye,” I say to Amani, right before I plant a kiss on her cheek.

Shit.

It was a knee-jerk reaction. A reflex from the past. It’s this damn condo that catapults me back to the past. It’s the same way I used to grab my phone, my keys, and the traveler’s mug of coffee my wife would pour me. Then I’d kiss her cheek goodbye.Goddammit.At least I stopped myself before I added, “I love you,” by accident.

Amani holds her cheek where I kissed it, her eyes wide with surprise.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter. “I don’t know what that was.”

She doesn’t address it, even though her palm is still pressed against her cheek. “Drive safe. I’ll text you when Carson wakes up.”

Alex and I are out of the building, walking side by side through the parking lot when I ask him, “Did you see me kiss Amani’s cheek?”

“Yep,” he says simply.

“Was it weird? A kiss on the cheek could be a thing between friends, right?”

He glances at me from his peripherals. “Adam, it was really fucking weird.”

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