Page 118 of First Comes Forever

“Not her. The baby. Or now, kid. Her name is Summer. I should’ve been there forher, but I wanted to punish her mom. Can I tell you something a little messed up?”

Jess pretends to zip her lips and throw away the key. “Your secret is safe.”

“I feel like I fucked up and Amani paid the price. She tried so hard. I watched her get so sick during IVF, but she never complained. She didn’t drink, she watched her diet, she took her vitamins and did light exercise. Her body was perfectly equipped to carry a baby. The miscarriage shouldn’t have happened. It was me…my fault. Karmic retribution. When my wife told me she cheated on me and the baby wasn’t mine, a better man would’ve at least seen the pregnancy through. I basically divorced her on the spot and never spoke to her again. She delivered all alone. The guy who got her pregnant wanted nothing to do with them, either. Regardless of what Liv did, Summer deserved better from me.”

Jess blows out a big breath. “That’s heavy.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you still in love with Amani?”

I nod, my eyes still in my lap. “Deeply so. But she deserves a guy who isn’t stuck in his past mistakes. So I let her go.” Lifting my eyes, I show Jess a small smile. “But I’m still not ready to kiss anybody else right now.”

“Adam, let me tell you a little story that might help. I dated a guy for two years and was head over heels in love. My best friend, who was a bit of a snoop, found out he was cheating. She showed me text message evidence and that still wasn’t enough to convince me. Eventually, I walked in on him with another woman. That got it through my thick skull. Everyone thought I’d moved on, but for almost a year, I low-key stalked his socials. I compared myself to every new girl he dated. I envied whatever he was doing. Sometimes I’d show up at places I knew he’d be at, just so I could ignore him. I was obsessed. It’s not that I wanted him back, but I couldn’t let go of the betrayal. He hurt me, but he moved on, and I was stuck.”

I nod. “I get it. Why are you telling me this, though?”

“Because two months ago, I invited him out for coffee.”

“Oh, Jess.”

She scoffs. “It’s not what you think. I looked him right in the eyes and told him he really hurt me, and I was disappointed about how things turned out between us. Then I forgave him. I told him I hoped in the future he’d respect the sanctity of relationships. And that was that. Immediately, I had my life back. I stopped checking his social media, and I focused more on my friends. I started living and taking risks.” She leans over to pat my knee. “Like trying to kiss one of the hot building residents.”

I laugh lightly. “Fair enough. So what’s your suggestion?”

“I think you should start by forgiving yourself. Because if you’re blaming yourself for acts of nature, then you’re stuck, Adam. Once you do that, apologize to the person you feel you let down, thenlet it go.”

“That easy, huh?”

Jess smiles and winks. “That easy.”

“Thank you. That was very nice of you. And for the record, if my heart wasn’t taken, I would’ve absolutely asked you to stay for a second glass of wine tonight.”

Her face grows serious, and she leans a little closer. For a moment, it seems like she misunderstood my message. I thought I was pretty clear about my lingering feelings for Amani.

“Adam, your rejection hurts,” Jess says, with a completely straight face. I grimace, feeling wildly uncomfortable. “But I’ll forgive you if you give me a serious discount on this condo.”

Rolling my eyes, I breathe out in relief. “All right, let’s go talk money, Jess.”

thirty-four

There’s only one open parking lot near the pier in Long Beach. I park uncomfortably close to a large suburban, having no choice but to risk a door ding. There are scarier things than a scratch on my Lamborghini…

Like facing Liv.

About two minutes into my walk down the pier toward the cluster of restaurants, I debate turning around. Pulling off my sunglasses, I let the afternoon sun nearly blind me before I force myself to move my feet, focusing on weaving through the crowd. I need to hurry because Bluebird closes in six minutes.

The restaurant is easy to spot with a giant bluebird precariously mounted right above the door. I stop to gawk. Surely, that can’t be safe. A giant metal bird impaling you with its beak would be a terrible way to go. I proceed anyway. With a healthy level of caution. I pull gently on the door handle, but it’s already locked.

What the hell?I check my watch. It’s one fifty-four in the afternoon. Bluebird doesn’t close until two o’clock.

This was a crazy idea. I didn’t even call first. I was just going off a hunch and Mona’s information months ago. There’s a good chance Liv doesn’t even manage this place anymore. There’s so much turnover in the restaurant industry, and usually the launch manager doesn’t stay on board too long past grand opening.

Yeah, this is crazy.I’m relieved to step out from under the menacing-looking death bird, but once I turn my back, I hear a heavy latch unlock.

“Sorry about that, sir. I locked up a few minutes early. We’re closed for dine-ins, but the kitchen is still fulfilling pick-up orders, if you want to place an order to-go.”

I recognize her modulated tone. Liv always had the tenor of a flight attendant, perfect for customer service and the restaurant industry.

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