At the time, it truly hadn’t bothered me that we lived such separate lives. I thought it worked for us, so why look too closely at it or ask for more? But now, I don't know how I didn’t want and need more. Even before we came together, the days when Scarlet would be in Chattanooga felt endless. I would count down every day between Sunday afternoons and Thursday evenings when I’d see her again. I’d grown to loath road games because those three days in between meant another week, sometimes two, without her smile. And now that we are together, the very idea of not seeing her, or at the very least hearing from her everyday, is something I can’t entertain for even a moment.
Running my hand over the dry grass, I murmur, “But it was when construction here finished that I realized… we weren’t going anywhere, we never would be, and that I had become the worst sort of comfortable; I had become complacent, had settled.
“And that’s not to say Chelsea did somethin’ wrong or isn't a great person, because she is, just notmyperson. I’d been with her for eighteen months and not once during my meetings and walkthroughs with the architects and designers did I think, ‘I can’t wait to show this place to Chelsea.’ or ‘I wonder whatChelsea would prefer; let me call her and ask.’ In fact, when they mentioned I should add the tub in the master even if I don’t really take baths because the future Mrs. Tate would love to have it, I told ‘em, ‘Sure, put it in, but there won’t be one of those any time soon.’ We’d been together for eighteen months, she was basically livin’ with me, and marriage wasn’t even a blip on my radar.”
Unlike now where all I think about is if I were to die tomorrow how much I would regret having not asked Scarlet to be my wife, having not married her. The future isn’t guaranteed, and while I don’t want to rush through life with her, I do know I don’t want to waste a single second of it with her not knowing how much I love her and how important she is to me.
“When I first realized that,” I continue, “I chased that thought down a rabbit hole tryin’ to prove myself wrong. But the truth was there. I didn’t love her, had never said I loved her, had never thought I was in love with her, and she had never said she loved me. What I loved was that I didn’t feel as lonely when I was with her. Like I could disappear from this world and no one would notice so long as my backup was good.
“Chelsea and I weren’t a couple. In the two years I spent with her, I never felt even a drop of what I feel for you. We were roommates who shared a bed and occasionally slept together. And that was a whole other issue because she would tell me I was depraved when I wanted to try something new or that she couldn’t wait for the next road stretch so she could have a break from me always wantin’ to have sex with her.
“I’ve always been a relationship guy, so I haven’t been with many women, but it was never how it is with you. I mean fuck, Scar, we haven’t even had sex yet, but I can confidently tell you what we’ve shared have been the best experiences of my life. I feel so fuckin’ close to you when we’re together like that. I can’timagine it ever being as good with someone else as it is with you.”
“Really?” she asks, turning on her side and propping her head in her palm to look down at me. “Even though we haven’t actually done it yet, you’re, you know… satisfied.”
“You’re perfect,” I assure, turning to match her. “Absolutely perfect. And yes, baby. This, with you, is the most satisfied I’ve ever been. The only thing I’m left wantin’ for is more because I could never have enough of you—your touch and your sounds. And I love how insatiable you are because God, I’m so fuckin’ addicted to you.”
Closing the space between us, she gives me the sweetest, most innocent kiss and whispers, “I’m addicted to you too.” Rolling to pin me and climb on top of me, Scarlet bites at my neck before licking me and asking, “How long after was it before you two broke up?”
“A few days,” I answer, petting her hair as she nuzzles into me. “There were no tears, no questions of why, no sudden declarations of love. Ending things was as easy as everythin’ else had been, which only proved how right my decision was.
“She wasn’t what I wanted, not really. And she definitely wasn’t what I needed. She was easy and came at a time when I needed easy. But once that time was up, I knew what I wanted going forward is what I have with you, what Ma made me promise to find—the woman who makes me think of her first and baseball second. The one I can’t bear to lose. The one who makes me want to start forever right now, today, because I hate the idea of her not being my wife for even a minute longer. And I wasn’t goin’ to settle for anythin’ less than that again.
“So if you’re wonderin,’ that’s why I’ve also been single for the last two years.”
“And you have that now? With me?”
“Yeah baby, I do. I even hired an agent to find me a house in Brentwood—preferably as close to Windstone as possible—because over my dead body am I takin’ you back to an apartment I shared with another woman. And if I’m going to be in the market for a new home, I want it to be your dream home.”
“The Hendersons,” she breathes, sitting up and beginning to unhook my pads and lift them over my head. “The Hendersons are retiring to Myrtle Beach this spring. It’s not listed yet but?—”
“Is it what you would want? Because I can have something built too if you’re okay being several streets away from Colt and Roman. Somethin’ made just for you, with every detail exactly as you want it.”
“No, it’s perfect. Their house is my dream home.”
“Then it’s done. I’ll call Ledia in the morning and tell her.”
I peel her t-shirt and sports bra off, her perfect breasts falling free as she pulls my shirt from me, whispering, “And Remington, I love you too,” kissing me as I did her before I can say anything.
TWENTY-FOUR
SCARLET
“Winnie girl,I think we need to call in reinforcements,” I decide, tossing another dress aside in defeat. From where she’s curled up on her bed, looking at me like I’m a crazy person—which I probably am since Remington has seen me in everything and nothing at this point—she huffs and cants her head at me. “Yes, I know. You said I should have called six outfits ago and I didn’t listen. Telling me, ‘I told ya so,’ ain’t helping though. So take that sassy puppy butt elsewhere.”
Pulling my phone out from the pocket of my robe, I open a text thread with the one contact I know I can rely on for this and shoot him a message. Slipping it back in, I return to the closet, flicking through my clothes—old and new alike—looking for the perfect outfit.
After my easily returned declaration of love for Remington and his subsequent half dozen variations of asking if I was sure, had I meant it, and to repeat it, he asked me on a date. A real date, outside of the house, where we would be seen together in a way that would be unmistakablynotplatonic andnotin a professional capacity. And I agreed—well, after having him call his lawyer, Donny, to check the Nighthawks’ policy and thenverifying the answer with my dad. Who, just like me, is as subtle as a bat to the face, asked Boomer outright if there was anything Remington and I needed to do before going public with our relationship.
With a clear answer that Remington and I wouldn’t need to remain a secret and Boomer apparently shouting, “Hallelujah, it’s about time,” I had gone into planning mode. My only request for our date being that whatever he planned, he planned it for at least a week from when he asked me but before Thanksgiving. Because while I’d only had the two, this was going to be my last first date and the night I planned to lose my virginity. And given how often we’re kissing, touching, and bringing each other to orgasm, I wanted to have time to explore this newest aspect of our relationship before my family came for the holiday.
Flopping on top of the clothes only to get right back up so I don’t wrinkle anything, I take my phone back out and begin text bombing Reeves.
Reeves-e’s Pieces
Today 5:37 PM
Scarlet