Page 33 of Sideline Play

“I lied when I said Reeves took me on my first date.”

FOURTEEN

REMINGTON

I don’t respond.I don’t move. I don’t even breathe. I lay here waiting, listening, fortifying my mind and locking all reaction away in preparation for whatever pieces she’s about to share with me.

“Remi?”

“I’m here,” I whisper, afraid of tipping the precipice she’s standing on.

“I don’t really talk about this.”

“Tell me as much or as little as you want. There’s no expectations here.”

Briefly tightening the arm around me in a hug, she speaks just as softly.

“I know, but you need to know. I want you to know—not just about what happened but that I trust you. I trust you and I want to be with you, it’s just… I don’t know if I can give you everything you need and what’s expected in a relationship.

“I mean I want to—oh my God do I want to. I dream about it, crave it, wish to have that with you. But… I haven’t really tried. Haven’t even wanted to try. Not since him. And after what you said in the kitchen and just a while ago, I think you should knoweverything so you can change your mind now because for as alive as you make me feel and for how much I want to throw caution to the wind and dive head first into you, I don’t know if I can. Not just because of what happened, but because of the fallout that followed.”

Untucking the arm behind my head, I wrap it around her and swear into the crown of her head, hoping my words will sink in and take root. “I’m not changing my mind about you, Scar. Nothing you’ve done or experienced will make me look at you differently. The only way I leave is if you ask me to. Otherwise, I’m here and I’m in this. I will fight for you, with you, and choose you. Any fallout that comes from us being together, I will face head on, at your side.”

Rolling onto her stomach, she stacks her arms on me and rests her chin on top, blue eyes assessing me. I know she finds whatever it is she’s looking for when she tucks her head in and kisses the base of my sternum. Her lips are featherlight as she presses one, then another, her true, honest affection beginning to trickle free.

“You make me want to try, Remi.”

“That’s all I’ll ever ask of you, baby. Never stop trying because you deserve the entire world, and I don’t just want to give it to you, I want to help you seize it.”

Looking back up, she sucks in so much air, I'm afraid she’ll choke before expelling it all in one long, drawn out exhale.

“When I started at U.T., it was with enough credits that I was already halfway through my sophomore year. Roman used to joke that I would probably graduate before him. Which I technically did but only because he signed at 21 as an undrafted player. Like you, he didn’t finish his degree first. And like your mom, our dad waslivid.He was always driving the point home that a professional career could end in an instant and that Roman needed to have a plan in place in case it did.”

Quietly humming as she pauses, she watches me without really seeing me, her head tilting from side to side as she thinks. Then with a sharp, decisive nod, she continues.

“Dad had already purchased a house for Roman where he and several other players on the university’s team lived. Since Tennessee was my plan even before Roman came to us, he kept the master open for me, him, Reeves, O’Malley, and…” Trailing off, she swallows, and where she had been indifferent in her explanation before, goosebumps erupt along her skin as she chokes out, “and Castor North taking the other four rooms and sharing the two separate bathrooms.

“Like a lot of people who had a bad high school experience, I swore college would be different. I would put myself out there, be social, make friends, and not continue to cling to my big brother. I was going to face the cattiness and bullies head on instead of letting Roman punch people, make them cry, and otherwise terrorize those who were mean to me. I wanted to date, maybe find a boyfriend. Hell, I would’ve been happy just to be kissed by someone for a reason beyond wanting to unhinge my brother.

“I was so determined. I signed myself up for a dorm room the moment my acceptance came in. I was not going to be Roman’s untouchable little sister or Colt’s precious princess, and I knew living with my brother and half the starting lineup of the school’s team would relegate me right back into that position. No one, least of all my overprotective brother, could tell me otherwise, and even though our dad had the same reservations, he supported me. Said I had a good head on my shoulders and should get to be free, that Roman was right there and only a phone call away if I needed him.

“Anyway, I’m drifting and you?—”

“Want to know whatever you wish to tell me.”

Humming and sighing with a range of expressions dancing across her face, she mumbles to herself, starting and stopping several times before deciding on what to say next.

“Well, you know Roman. He can be a real asshat sometimes, and if there’s a way to get what he wants, he’ll find it.”

Snorting, I don’t disagree with her, her eyes brightening as she starts to laugh.

As the weightless sound trails off, she rolls her eyes.

“So being the completely unhinged butthead that he is, he divided my schedule amongst his roommates and a few other members of the team and lucky me,” she cheers with facetious excitement. “I wasneveralone. If I didn’t have a stupid baseball player plonked right next to me in class, I had one walking me to class, to lunch, the library, my dorm. I literally couldn’t breathe without inhaling grass, dirt, and leather.

“Those friends I wanted to make, yeah, they weren’t so interested in me anymore once the hot guy parade started following me around. All they wanted was an in with an up-and-coming player, a rookie, or to my utter disgust since you and Chelsea were together at the time, you. I mean seriously, how classless do you have to be to look at a man who is clearly in love and say, ‘yeah I would wreck that home in a heartbeat if given half a chance.’”

Not particularly the time for correction but hearing her mention me, Chelsea, and love in the same sentence, I can’t stop myself from rebutting, “I wasn’t in love with her.” Combing my fingers through her hair as she gives me a confused look, I apologize. “Sorry, that’s really neither here nor there; please, continue.”

---