Page 13 of Broken Promises

Were we at the point of no return?

“Luce, please, give me a moment,” I pleaded, wanting to make things right. And she gave me the moment I asked for, even if I didn’t deserve it. “I got carried away. I wasn’t planning on something like that happening—I just…I missed you. I meant what I said.”

She pressed her lips into a thin line, silent for a second. “It wasn’t just you. I participated, too. But it doesn’t mean we should be doing it,” Lucy said. “We can’t do this, Luke.”

My chest tightened at her words, but I wouldn’t push her. I still hoped that things would work between us, but I wouldn’t force her into anything she didn’t feel comfortable doing. If what she needed right now was space—then that was what I would give to her.

“Let me drive you home, at least,” I offered, even if it meant driving silently. I didn’t care. I wanted to make it up to her somehow. But much like I expected, she turned that offer down quickly.

“I appreciate it, but I’d rather walk. I need to clear my head.” Lucy was now at the door. I knew she wasn’t leaving forever—not yet, at least—but the sight still tugged at my heart.

“Okay. Get home safe,” was all I said as I watched her leave. As silence surrounded me again, I realized there was no going back. Even if just briefly, I experienced what life with her by my side would be again, and I wasn’t sure I could let it go. Not without a fight.

I messed up once; I wasn’t going to do it again.

lucy

. . .

As I steppedinside the house, I was thankful to find it empty. The last thing I wanted to do was face my mom in Luke’s clothes. Especially with the chaos that resided in my mind. It would bring so many unwanted questions, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to answer them just yet.

The moment I was in my room, I changed out of his clothes and put on some shorts and a t-shirt. Right away, the lack of his scent cleared my head slightly, but I found my heart aching to be surrounded by it again.

Don’t be ridiculous,I told myself again. I was acting like I was in high school all over again, and to say it was unacceptable was an understatement. Before I could feel sorry for myself even more, I dashed into the kitchen to whip up a sandwich. It wasn’t until my stomach rumbled in protest that I realized how hungry I was. With a sandwich in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other, I headed out to the back porch to soak in the sun.

The view from here was stunning, with the ocean twinkling softly in the distance beneath the swirls of the clouds. It was one of the reasons that had my mom sold on this house. Now that I was older, I could fully appreciate why.

The longer I sat there, engulfed in silence, the more unwanted thoughts weaseled back into my mind.

I had been here one day and had already tried to jump Luke’s bones, and it couldn’t happen again—under any circumstances. I planned for my trip to last for fourteen days, so it meant I only had thirteen left.

Thirteen days left to avoid him in this incredibly small town. It was a totally plausible idea, wasn’t it? The only issue with my plan was that I had to return his clothes at some point and retrieve mine that I had left behind.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I retrieved it to find a message from the only person I could count on to cheer me up right now.

SAILOR: How’s everything going? I expected more updates, girl!

ME: Everything’s fine. I’m just enjoying the sunshine; I haven’t been online much.

SAILOR: You don’t say! Send a pic or two!

SAILOR: Also, have you seen him?

I hesitated for a moment. Sailor knew every part of me—including the one I tried to keep buried deep down for as long as I could remember. It was natural that she’d ask this. The urge to lie was there for whatever reason. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, let alone to someone else.

ME: I have, but nothing is going on. I’m not dating again. Remember my last relationship?

SAILOR: Fair enough. Still, you should probably get laid, if even causally.

SAILOR: The best way to get over someone is to get under someone ;)

ME: The only thing I want to be under right now is the sun.

I didn’t realize how long I had been outside until I heard the front door open. My mom was back, apparently. I headed back inside, greeting her with a small smile as she carried bags with groceries inside. I grabbed one, helping her put the items she brought into the cupboards. One thing that I could count on never changing was the order in my mom’s kitchen. It remained the same, even a decade ago, so I knew exactly where to put whatever I reached for.

“How was your day?” I asked her.

“Good, I was able to book another wedding for this winter. This is going to be a good year for business.” Pride spread through me—aside from me, her business was my mom’s pride and joy. I was glad it was going well.

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