Without missing a beat, Ashley countered, “It’s my first time eatingyourdinner, Uncle Pete.”
She threw in some finger guns, and Uncle Pete laughed even more.
“Well, welcome aboard, Ashley.” He handed her some bowls, and she saluted sharply before turning back to the table.
She gave Esther a quick wink while passing her in the doorway, as though they were both in on some joke, though Esther wasn’t sure what the joke was. A spark zapped down her sternum, a part of her excited to be in on the secret and nearly distracting her from the mortification of Ashley being forced to set her own place at the table.
“Jason,” Uncle Pete called. “You’re in charge of spoons. Esther, come help me with drinks and toppings.”
She dropped the salad off on the table and ran back for cups before Ashley could be enlisted for another round.
In no time, the table was set, grace was said, bowls were filled with Uncle Pete’s Famous Taco Soup, and dinner was on.
“Hey, Jason, pass the sour cream. Ashley, you have to try a dollop of this. It’s what makes the soup.” Uncle Pete handed the tub back to Jason, who made a face and pushed it away.
“Yuck.”
Esther rolled her eyes. They went through this every time he made Taco Soup.
“Yuck?” Ashley squinted dramatically. “Are you trying to trick me, Uncle Pete?”
“Me?” Uncle Pete placed a hand on his chest, hamming up the moment. “I would never.”
This was the most animated they’d been together for a meal in a while. Esther marveled at Ashley’s ability to seamlessly ingrain herself in their routine and even bring out her uncle’s playful side. Why had she worried about her family when Ashley was here to smooth it all over?
“Esther,” Ashley said.
Esther jumped, forgetting she was at the table and not watching a dinner documentary.
Ashley was looking at her. “What do you say? Sour cream or no sour cream?”
Sour cream or no sour cream? Well, there were many factors to consider. Had the sour cream unknowingly expired? Can Ashley handle dairy? What were her taste preferences? So many variables with answers she didn’t have access to. On the one hand, it was her uncle’s recipe, and he preferred sour cream on his soup, which made sour cream truer to the experience. But on the other hand, there were many dietary risks of consuming sour cream. Should she risk putting Ashley’s stomach in danger of digestive issues or suggest she skip what was considered the true experience?
Her hands started to sweat, and she wondered how long she’d remained silent considering both options and their endless variables. A part of her knew this was the lowest of stakes. Whatwas the worst that could happen if she gave the wrong answer? Her mind helpfully filled in the blank with an allergic reaction and calling 9-1-1, Ashley being so offended by the flavor she’d choke and die, and Ashley never speaking to her again after learning Esther had kept her from a full experience.
Her spiral into panic was interrupted by Jason’s laughter.
“Don’t ask Esther,” he said. “She gives bad advice.”
Ashley chuckled but stopped when no one joined her. “You’re serious?”
“She does have a bit of a reputation.” Uncle Pete took another spoonful of soup with a perfectly proportioned dollop of sour cream. “I mean, there was Aunt Clare’s hair.” He laughed to himself now. “You don’t recommend bangs a week before your wedding.”
“Oh, oh!” Jason bounced in his seat, eager to add to Esther’s humiliation. “What about that road trip where everyone threw up?”
“The family reunion!” Uncle Pete was roaring with laughter now. “I forgot Esther was the one to pick the restaurant. We all got food poisoning. Took out a whole public bathroom by the end of the night.”
Esther sank into her seat, her face heated. They weren’t wrong, but did they have to relive this now? In front of Ashley, the perfect person who could do no wrong. It only drew their differences into sharper relief. There was something wrong with Esther. Something that made her always choose the wrong option and only reiterated her need to avoid making decisions and to avoid people altogether. Uncle Pete and Jason hadn’t even brought up Esther’s worst suggestion on record. She needed to end this conversation before it got any worse.
“Well, that just sounds like a bunch of coincidences. I’d still like to hear Esther’s opinion on the sour cream.” Ashley smiled at Esther, her teeth bright, her head slightly tilted in the mostencouraging way. As though saying,Go ahead, Esther. Prove your family wrong. Break the cycle.
But that wasn’t how this worked. It didn’t matter what answer Esther gave—it would be the wrong one, and she’d be to blame for whatever negative outcome. It could be small. It could even be nothing this time. But it could be something, and it could be life-changing. And she wasn’t ready to shoulder something like that. Not again.
“I don’t give advice,” Esther said.
“Esther, I—” Ashley started.
“Just leave it alone, okay,” she snapped. “Eat the soup however you want to eat it and leave me out of it.”