Page 122 of More than Need

“I’ve made up my mind. The letter is a courtesy, and you know, to get the ball rolling and shit. I’m not asking for suggestions.”

“Did you not think to discuss it with us first before you made these decisions? If we’re in it together, then I think I have some sort of say in this.”

“I’m doing it forme. If I changed my mind because of you, or Dawson, it becomes a dangerous slope we shouldn’t go down.”

Riley flicked the corner of the paper, studying it. “What will you do?” he asked eventually.

“I don’t know yet. I haven’t figured that part out yet.” It had taken a lot of his courage to get this far. Something that didn’t mean long hours away from home, orweirdhours. Something that meant he could have his son on a regular basis and didn’t have to worry. “Maybe I’ll be a house husband, and make your lunches every day, and look after our four dogs and three cats.”

“Seven animals now?”

“There’s an Instagram profile that has twelve dogs, and you know how competitive I am.”

Riley’s lips twitched. “Gideon, you don’t have a competitive bone in your body.”

“Maybe I’ll develop one while I’m out of work. Fine, five dogs and four cats are the limit, I got it.”

“How can you be a house husband? I haven’t proposed to you. And as far as I know, neither has Dawson.”

“House partner. The specifics don’t matter that much, Riley. You’re missing the point.”

“No, I get the point.” Riley leaned back. “This house you’re talking about…”

“It was just part of my point. We don’t—moving in is a lot, and I don’t know that any of us are ready for that. But we’re in it for real, aren’t we? So eventually, that seems like what we’ll do. A natural step later.”

“Have you spoken to Dawson about this?”

“Not yet; I was planning on it tonight.”

Riley stood, buttoning his jacket in the middle. “I think you need to think about this, Gideon.” He laid a hand over Gideon’s resignation. “This is your career you’re talking about. You spent years getting a degree in criminologyforthis career. You’re one of my best detectives; you’re clever and intuitive and excellent with people, for good and for evil purposes.”

“I’m taking all of that as a compliment and never letting you forget you said that to me.” He needed to print it out and put it on the wall.

“I don’t want you to throw away a career you’ve worked so hard on, on a whim.”

“It’s not a whim.” And hehadthought about it. This is what he wanted. When he thought about putting his badge and gun down, he only felt relief. Apprehension about the next step and what he would actually do with himself—and calculating how long his savings would last him before the job hunt became critical—but nothing remotely like regret or sadness. Riley’s whole identity revolved around his job, and Gideon loved that for him. For a long time, it had been Gideon’s only marker as well, even when he’d been a husband and a father. He didn’t want that for himself. Not anymore.

He would never ask Riley to give up his job, and he knew that Riley wasn’t askinghimto. Gideon wanted this for himself. For them. And for his son. He wanted to look back and be proud of how he’d raised Hudson, not have regret for all the things he’d missed out on or not been there for.

Gideon tugged at the waistband of Riley’s slacks, dragging him closer. “I love that you care so much. I loveyou. I’m not doing this for the wrong reasons, I promise.”

Riley tapped his fingers on the edge of his desk. “You’re an incredible detective, Gideon. You’ll regret not being part of that anymore.”

Would he miss solving cases and being part of something bigger than himself? Of course, he would. Would he miss helping people? Also, yes. But there were other, more important things that he wanted. He’d figure out how to do the things that he loved that didn’t mean sacrificing the people he cared about.

Epilogue

Five Months Later

Riley sidestepped around arunning, squealing child, lifting the tray of uncooked meat above their heads so it didn’t end up on the floor. A random child that Riley couldn’t remember the name of almost ploughed into him right after that, their small hand squeezing his thigh as they zipped around him.

Hudsondidrun into him next, his birthday-boy hat askew on his little head. He clung to Riley and beamed at him. He yelled “Sorry!” and then disappeared with the rest of the kids.

Eventually Riley made it—safely—to where Gideon and Ned were standing in the backyard, near the barbecue.

“Please tell me they didn’t leave you two in charge.” Riley eyed them suspiciously. When he’d left, Angela and Quinn had been standing with them. They required intense supervision.

Gideon snapped his tongs. “I will have you know I am an excellent meat turner.”

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