Page 110 of More than Need

“You think I coerced him?”

“You’re not listening to me, Riley. You’re usually better at not letting your emotions get in the way of logic.”

“I can’t separate my emotions from the man I’m sleeping with,” Riley said tersely. Not even if he wanted to. They’d promised when they’d started that they wouldn’t allow it to affect their jobs. That had lasted barely a fortnight before they were already in too deep. How long would it have taken for it to get back to his dad, even without this incident? Riley wished he could say they could have kept it secret forever, but they’d been less than discreet, too consumed with their need for each other to be careful enough.

“You need to think about what’s more important: him or your career.”

“Can’t have both?” Riley asked sarcastically. He already knew the answer. If Simon wanted his resignation right now, Riley would give it, without hesitation.

“As it stands? No, you can’t. If Gideon were to transfer, and you waited a good while to announce anything, then we could possibly smooth it over. But if anyone gets wind that you slept with himwhilehe worked for you, the repercussions could get ugly. You know that.”

He’d known it even before he’d kissed Gideon in his office. And done it anyway. Gideon and rational thought had never gone hand in hand.

“I’m in love with him,” Riley said honestly. He couldn’t tell the people that needed to hear it, fear curling like tentacles around his chest. He had to trust that they knew, or that they would work it out themselves. In the end, words were meaningless if he couldn’t show them. “With both of them. I’m sure Mum told you about Dawson as well.” She wouldn’t have revealed one without the other.

“Dawson won’t end your career. Gideon could. Hewill. I hope you understand that.” Simon sighed and rubbed his forehead, another gesture that Riley had inherited from him. One that showed exasperation. And fondness.

Did Sadie hold some of the same traits as him, simply through biology? How many markers did they have in common? Riley had wondered it before and hated that he’d allowed it to take up space inside his mind. A space that he couldn’t purge, no matter how hard he tried. And now he couldn’t, because Dawson changed everything.

“Dawson is Sadie’s best friend.”

Simon’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Your biological sister, Sadie?”

Riley merely nodded. He didn’t know another Sadie, and neither did Simon.

“You don’t like to make things easy for yourself, do you? Sometimes I think you deliberately make it harder because you think you need to prove yourself in every situation.”

Riley had nothing to say to that. It’s not something he did on purpose, though he wasn’t so unaware that he couldn’t acknowledge part of him had always wanted to prove that he belonged with them, and here.

“Does anyone in your office know?” Simon asked.

“Quinn does.” That shouldn’t come as a surprise. It hadn’t been by choice, and Riley should have been more discreet, but if Rileyweregoing to confide in anyone, it would have been Quinn. Despite the censure and the judgement. Quinn remained his voice of reason, one of the best detectives on the force, and a man who would walk through a fire for those he cared about even as he scolded them for setting it. It might not have been the smartest move, but Sebastian hadn’t been wrong to put him on a pedestal. A better man had never been born.

“Anyone else?”

“No.” Grady might. He’d never say anything, either to Riley’s face or to anyone else’s.

“What are you going to do? There needs to be some kind of plan. I assume that ending it isn’t an option?”

“No.” He would walk away from the career before he gave him up. Before he gave Dawson up either.

I love you.

As much as he loved his career, it wasn’t more important than his men, wasn’t more important than a future with them, no matter what that ended up looking like. What they were building had to be more important than a job. He’d sacrificed too much over the years for it, and he no longer wanted to keep doing that. Because of them.

Of course, he would prefernotto lose his job, but if it meant having a life with Dawson and Gideon, then he would have to adjust and find a new path.

“And if this ends your career?”

“So be it.”

“Christ, Riley, you give me a headache sometimes. First thing we’re gonna do is transfer Gideon to a new department, or a new station. No, don’t give me that face. It’s your only option if you want to salvage both of your careers.”

“Gideon is one of my best detectives.”

“You say that about all your detectives.”

For good reason. He’d handpicked every single one of them. “Facts are facts.”