Page 113 of Cohesion

While he had the chance, he quickly took the bar out and then slipped it into his pocket. They couldn’t just rip it right out if he wasn’t wearing it. It would take way too long to heal over so he could get it re-pierced, and no one had time for that.

“Good call,” Spencer said. He sighed and leaned back against the dusty wall. “They’ll be coming back to check on us soon. The window is boarded up, but they’re too smart; they won’t leave us alone long because they’ll think we’ll try to escape.”

“Are we not trying to?” He wouldn’t mind escaping if that was an option.

“Nah, it would take too much time and energy to get the boards off. Not to mention we don’t know how far they took us, or what kind of manpower they have outside. We’re too valuable to kill right now, but I doubt they’ll hesitate to shoot us if we run.”

“What were you doing to the wall, then?”

“I was bored. They don’t need to know it wasn’t more than that.”

Sebastian snorted. “Right.” He bit the inside of his cheek in an attempt to calm his nerves. He couldn’t admit, even to himself,how fucking terrified he was. As soon as he admitted that, it was over. The bravado might be false, but it was the only thing holding him together.

The idea that he could die here and never see any of his men again was the scariest thing he’d ever faced in his life. Quinn’s smile and romantic heart of gold. Will’s infectious grin and bright outlook on life. Peyton’s fierce protectiveness and burning energy. Jericho’s flirtatious smirk and relentlessness.

No. This couldn’t be it. He wasn’t going to die here in this place without them.

“What do we do now?” he asked. He needed some kind of purpose or conversation. Otherwise, he would go mad.

“Gather as much information as we can. I was counting their steps and their movements. Guard rotations and numbers. There aren’t many of them; small operation. If I could see outside to get our bearings I might considering running for it. Based on the way the building keeps creaking, we’re at least two stories up. Given how quiet it is outside—no traffics, sirens, nothing—I’d say we’re somewhere near an industrial area.”

“It’s a residential apartment block,” Sebastian pointed out. They were in someone’sapartment, not an office.

“Yeah…” Spencer licked his lips. “But it’s abandoned. Slated for demolition, maybe? Or major renovations. We’re on the top floor because there are no sounds above us. That’s not a lot of apartments. If I had to guess, I’d say they could be tearing it down to build something bigger or relocate it.”

“And us…?”

Spencer shrugged one shoulder. “Probably plan to have us in here when it’s demolished.”

Sebastian tipped his head back against the wall, staring blankly at the water-stained ceiling. “Fuck,” he breathed out. Getting crushed didn’t sound like a good way to go out. Would they kill them andthenbury them, or bury them alive? Whowould be asked to identify his body? He couldn’t put his familyorQuinn through that.

“They’ll find us,” Spencer said. “They will.”

“Are you telling me or asking me?”

“Both.”

Sebastian nodded, closing his eyes. “Tell me something.”

“Like what?” Spencer asked.

Sebastian licked at the split on his lip, where it was opening up again. More of that horrible metallic tang. “I don’t know. Anything. Distract me.”

Spencer was silent for a heartbeat too long, and Sebastian thought he’d either fallen asleep or wasn’t going to answer. If he went to sleep, Sebastian was poking him. He wasn’t staying awake by himself with nothing but his own thoughts to keep him company.

“I’m in love with Kendrick,” Spencer said eventually.

Sebastian sat up, twisting to stare at Spencer in confusion. “I thought you were straight.” He hadn’t beensure, but he’d been sure.

“I am.”

“I hate to break it to you but—” That didn’t exactly sound straight. “Do you mean you love him?” Sebastian loved plenty of women that were in his inner circle, and he wasn’t straightorbisexual. A different kind of love. One as important, but still different.

“No.Inlove. I can’t explain it. I don’t want to… I can’t imagine doing anything sexual with him, you know? I’ve seen him naked. It doesn’t do anything for me, doesn’t get me hard. But I also can’t breathe without him. Need him near me. I don’t let him date. How selfish is that? I can’t stand the thought of someone else touching him even though I don’t want to. No. That’s not true. I hate when he’snottouching me. It’s just not a sexual thing.”

Sebastian didn’t have a response to that. Yeah, it was selfish. But he understood. Even when Quinn hadn’t been his, he’d been his. If he’d been able to stop Quinn from sleeping with other people even while they’d been broken up, if he’d been able to stop him dating that cop, he would have done it. He hadn’t thought he could go back, but he’d wanted to keep Quinn in the past with him, both of them stuck in the torturous loop. Anything so he didn’t have to deal with the fact that other people were enjoying the way that Quinn made love, and he wasn’t.

“He was hurt, when we got taken,” Spencer said, a new hoarseness to his voice. “And I hate so much that I don’t know if he’s okay. If he survived, if someone helped him. I have to know what he’s thinking, what he’s doing. Is he thinking about me? I need him to always be thinking about me.”

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