Page 68 of Cohesion

“Yes.” He couldn’t wait hours and hours with this hanging over his head, wondering what Quinn was thinking.

“So tell me, then. Explain it to me.”

Sebastian opened his mouth, but no words came out. He tried again, and still nothing. He never ran out of words when he was defending in court, could run circles around every person in the room. And now, when he needed them most, he had no words.

“Let me tell you what I saw,” Quinn said casually, coming so close that Sebastian got a whiff of his sexy cologne. “I walked in, and Riley was touching you intimately, and it felt like I’d gone back in time. Not the first compromising position that I’ve found you in, is it? I have to admit, I didn’t have that on my bingo card. You and Riley. Stillclosefriends after all these years.”

“We were only trying not to hurt you.”

“I guess you failed.”

Sebastian shakily closed his eyes, heart in his throat. “I never did anything with him,” he said hoarsely. “Nothing like you thought. Not then, now, or in-between. We’ve onlyeverbeen friends.”

“Cheating doesn’t have to be physical, Sebastian.”

“I couldn’t call him my friend if I didn’t have an emotional connection with him.” Sebastian didn’t want this. Couldn’t be having this conversation again, defending himself against every action that involved Riley. Were they coming full circle?

“You pushed me away. You leftme, remember? I know that I fucked up, and I deserved that. But to think that he was so important to you that you kept him close all these years, and yet you so easily shut me out and ignored me?”

“It wasn’teasy,” Sebastian said hoarsely. “But Ihad to. I couldn’t have survived if I’d let myself feel that. Leaving youdestroyedme. It was the hardest thing that I’ve ever done in mylife. I haven’t been able to breathe properly all these years, not until you waltzed back into my life and kissed me right here, in my office.” It was like he’d been asleep that whole time, just waiting for Quinn to come back for him. “You’ve stayed in my heart this whole time, but I had to lock that part and bury it, or it would have killed me.”

Between him, Will, and Peyton, he’d felt human again.Feltagain, period. Adding Jericho only enhanced all of it, each of the men feeding from each other and creating a space that made himfeel. If this didn’t work, he wasn’t coming back from that. Could never replace any of them with anyone else. This was it for him.

Quinn’s throat worked, nostrils flaring. He sucked in a deep breath. “Seb, I’m so sorry.”

Sebastian’s lips trembled, his knees buckling, forcing him to lean heavily against the desk. “No. Please—Quinn—please—” He wasn’t above begging. He couldn’t live without him again. Couldn’t go through all those years again, not now that he’d fallen in love with him for a second time. It didn’t matter who they were, where they’d been, or where they would go. There wasn’t a version of Quinn that he wouldn’t fall for.

Quinn gently took Sebastian’s head between his hands, his thumbs rubbing across his stubble. A velvet touch that Sebastian wished he could sink into. He clasped Quinn’s hands, twisted his head, breathing open mouthed against Quinn’s palm.

Not goodbye. It couldn’t be goodbye.

I can’t live without you again.

“I’m sorry that I made you think for one second that you aren’t my whole world. I do believe you.”

Dizziness swept over him. “What?” he croaked out.

“What I did to you,” Quinn said, his voice barely a whisper. “I’ll forever regret it, and I’ll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you.” The second that Quinn’s lips touched his, he gripped tight to Quinn’s white shirt and clung. His touch was soft,shallow, and lingering, warming Sebastian down to his soul. He didn’t want to let go. Couldn’t.

“There’s nothing to make up. I didn’t—I gave you so many reasons not to trust me.”

“I know you were keeping secrets, Sebastian.” Their lips brushed together on every word. “And you still are. But I should never have translated that into accusations of cheating. To anything that said something about who we were to each other.”

“It wasn’t,” Sebastian said. “I didn’t ever—”

“I know.” Quinn caressed Sebastian’s face with the backs of his hands, foreheads pressed tightly together. “I won’t let us repeat the mistakes of the past. We don’t need to go down that path again. I love you.”

“I love you, so much.”

“I need you to trust me.”

“I do.”

“With everything.”

Sebastian closed his eyes, soaking in Quinn’s presence and letting it ground him. His lips trembled as he admitted, “We covered up a crime.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Kind of, anyway.”

Quinn frowned. “What?”