Page 67 of Cohesion

“You think I can’t see Quinn’s flaws? I see them. I just don’t care.” Sebastian plucked absently at his cuffs. “It was my fault he acted the way he did, and I was so angry at him for so long because of my own issues.”

“That’s not true.”

“He didn’t do anything wrong.”

Riley stood, put the coffee on the desk—probably empty now—and cupped the side of Sebastian’s neck, holding tight. “Neither did you.”

“Yes, I did. You and I both did.”

Movement in his periphery made Sebastian turn. His eyes locked on to too-familiar grey ones, and his heart dropped.

“Quinn,” Sebastian said, voice catching. He flinched and stepped back, Riley’s hand dropping away. His stomach sank, and his balance shifted. He reached behind himself, bracing one hand on the desk.

Quinn looked between them, stare impassive as the silence extended.

Sebastian wished that he would say something. His lips parted, but he had no words either. Echoes of the harsh words they threw at each other all those years ago came back withperfect clarity, haunting him the way they always had. It was a nightmare he’d never been able to wake from. Every time he woke up alone, or with someone that wasn’t Quinn, it came back to him. A past he couldn’t outrun, no matter how much he tried.

He’d never thought they would get a second chance. Now if he couldn’t saysomething, it was going to slip through his fingers like water.

Quinn shoved a hand into his pocket. “I saw Jericho downstairs, on his way out.”

“He was checking up on me.” Sebastian’s response was automatic. Toonormal.

Quinn nodded stiffly. “I came to see if you wanted to get some lunch. Will’s building isn’t that far from here, and we could see if he’s free to join us.”

Sebastian risked looking at Riley for answers.

Riley gave an imperceptible shrug and then checked his watch. “I need to go. Call me with any updates.”

“Okay.”

Quinn was still in the doorway, and Riley was forced to stop in front of him. Quinn stayed still for a heartbeat before moving to the side. Sebastian would have given anything in that moment to know what Quinn was thinking.

“How is your head?” Riley asked.

“No lingering effects,” Quinn replied normally. “Ready to be back at work.”

“Grady will be glad of it. One more day and there might be a homicide in the department.”

Quinn snorted. “He’d at least do it somewhere else. He’s smarter than that.”

Riley clasped Quinn’s shoulder, and with another nod, he left them alone. Sebastian flinched when the door closed with a quietsnick.

Quinn hooked his thumb in a loop of his slacks, sliding it in beside his thick black belt. “So, lunch? Do you have the time?”

Sebastian’s heart thumped so wildly in his chest he was sure Quinn could hear it. Why wasn’t hesayingsomething? He was too calm, nothing like the man that had once let his emotions lead him around by a chain. The quiet acceptance was driving him insane, and Sebastian waited for the gavel to drop, his limbs thick and heavy. It would be all that was needed to shatter his heart into a million pieces. He should have known when four extraordinary men fell into his lap that it was too good to be true.

That he would find a way to ruin it.

“I was going to—I wasn’t—” His voice broke, and he couldn’t finish his sentence.Please don’t leave me again.It didn’t matter that Sebastian had been the one to walk away. He’d had no other choice. He hadn’t been able to spend any more time trying so hard, only for Quinn to look at him the way he had. He’d wanted Quinn’s love and trust, and he’d lost all of it because he’d been trying to protect them both. Them and his brother. It had been a mess from start to finish, and he’d just wanted Quinn totrusthim without needing to know why, and it had never been there.

Quinn had chosen to think the worst of him every time.

He couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t. But he knew he wasn’t strong enough to walk away a second time. He would take every harshly spoken word, every accusation, and he would stay, no matter what the relationship turned into, because he couldn’t let go. He knew what it felt to not have Quinn anymore, and that was worse than living with it. So much worse.

Quinn took careful steps into the room, each one bringing him closer to Sebastian. He tried to brace himself against anything that Quinn would throw at him. A futile attempt. Quinn had always effortlessly gotten through every wall he’d ever put up. Sebastian had no shields against him.

“Do you really want to talk about this right now?” Quinn asked finally.

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