Page 49 of Cohesion

“Why did Quinn think that you did?” Peyton asked, seemingly intent to dig the knife in further and twist it.

“That’s more than one question,” Sebastian said tightly. In fact, he’d already askedtwo. Had this been Peyton’s intention all along? To expose all of Sebastian’s deepest, darkest secrets? What was the purpose here?

“Tell me.”

Apparently, they were just ripping this Band-Aid off. He hadn’t had nearly enough alcohol for this. “He found us in bed together,” he admitted, still looking right at Quinn, who now had an unreadable expression on his face, like he’d suddenly worked out how to play poker like a pro.

Peyton’s eyes narrowed, lips curling. “And I’m supposed to believe that was innocent?”

“It had been a long night, and we were tired. You’ve never slept in the same bed as your friends? Yourbrothers?” Sebastian could hear the defensiveness in his tone, and he hated it. Felt like he’d gone back in time eight years to when he’d done nothing but defend himself against the false claims. Quinn had been lookingfor an answer that Sebastian couldn’t give him because it wasn’ttrue.

“Peyton, that’s enough,” Quinn said firmly. “I don’t know what Riley said to you—”

“He didn’t sayanything,” Peyton said. “Just like you two aren’t. Are we not entitled to know what the fuck happened back then? Why you lost so many years? What kind of demons we’reallfacing because of it? You can’t just ignore that we’re part of it now, that we deserve to know.”

Quinn sighed and rubbed his forehead. Sebastian went to reach out for him and then dropped his hand. What comfort could he give when he’d been the problem?

“I had a jealousy problem,” Quinn said. “Twenty-four and completely in love with this law student who turned my world upside down. I wanted everything, and I couldn’t accept that not every part was mine to have. I saw shadows where there were none, twisted a beautiful friendship into something malicious and dark. Every time I saw them together, I couldn’t control myself, couldn’t stop the thoughts from invading. I let my insecurities cloud my judgment and poison everything. I said things that I can’t ever take back and tried to control Sebastian’s life and the friendships he had. What started out as my happy ever after turned into a nightmare of my own making. I spent years afterward working on myself, becoming a person worthy of someone like Sebastian. Worthy of giving and receiving love.”

“You were always worthy,” Sebastian said. How could he have ever thought he wasn’t? Quinn was light, and warmth, and safety. The sharp edges he’d once carried weren’t there anymore, but those weren’t the parts that Sebastian had fallen in love with. It had been Quinn. Just Quinn. He’d never needed more than that, and in the end,hewas the one who hadn’t been worthy.

“I’m sorry,” Peyton said. “I didn’t mean to—I just wanted to know.”

Sebastian curled his foot around Peyton’s ankle, hooking it. “Youdohave a right to know,” he said. “All of you do. Our past isn’t littered with rainbows and unicorns. We both fucked up. We have a chance to fix it now and make a future. Together, and with you, and Will, and even Jericho if he stops trying to put one foot out the door.”

“Hey!” Jericho protested. “I opened up yesterday, and I’m trying. I’m not as good at being open as the rest of you, putting your hearts out there for everyone to step on.”

“Are you planning to step on them?” Will asked, tilting his head.

“No.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Jericho scowled. “I think it’s time to deal the next hand,” he said, swiftly changing the subject. “Otherwise, no one is getting naked, and that would be a tragedy I’m unwilling to allow.”

Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief when no one protested. If every question was that intense, he wasn’t sure he would survive the night. Being vulnerable wasn’t something that came naturally to him, contrary to what Jericho thought, and it exhausted him to lay himself bare like that.

Peyton curled his ankle further around Sebastian’s, keeping them locked together. His smile was tentative, almost apologetic. Sebastian leaned forward enough to link their fingers together and squeeze lightly. There was no apology needed. He and Quinn didn’t have a right to keep their tenuous pasts to themselves, and the only way they couldallgrow and be together without the risk of something biting them in the ass was if they communicated openly and didn’t hide things.

Sebastian should have said something to Quinn about his friendship with Riley. About the parts of their past that he’d kept. Not tonight, but soon. It was already going to blow up in his face, and waiting would only make it worse.

His hand this round was just as mediocre. None of them folded, which made him question whether he should have or not. Did they have good hands, or had they all decided at once to bluff? It took him a second of hesitation before he decided not to fold. He had three of a kind again, and they were kings, so his chances were still fairly high.

Watching as each of them presented their hand was harrowing.

They all stared in shock at the royal flush that Will laid out.

“The fuck?” Peyton breathed out. “How did you manage that?”

Sebastian wanted to know the same thing. He’d only discarded one card. What kind of poker god had blessed him? Was he wearing a four-leaf clover under his shorts?

“I like hearts,” Will said simply.

“That’s… not at all how poker works,” Sebastian felt obligated to point out. He liked winning, but that didn’t mean he alwayswon.

Will shrugged. He carefully placed three Smarties on his BBQ chicken pizza. “Won, didn’t I?” His smile was smug, and it was honestly a good look on him. Sebastian thought he should do it more often. He deserved to.

And it was better to focus on that than the atrocity he was committing with his food. Was he actually—yes, he was in fact going to eat it. Great. Fantastic. Even after that, he still wanted to kiss that mouth. Said more about him than Will.

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