Page 82 of Ours to Keep

“Submit to him,”she says with a wicked grin. A knock at her door distracts her, followed by a muffled voice Ican’t quitehear.“Shit, I’m sorry, Lils, I need to go. But let him take control, submit.”

I swallow and nod, not even sure how I would go about doing that. “Love you, be safe.”

“And you. Please let me know as soon as you hear any news on Mia, and in the meantime, take your mind off it by getting off under Tommy’s very delectable hands.”

And with that, she disconnects the call.

I dropthe iPad onto the bedside table. Pulling open one of the dresser drawers, I find some pyjamas and head to the bathroom, leaving the door partially open. I strip out of my clothes and take a quick shower.

Drying off, I pull on my shorts and matching top and then cover myself in the soft robe hanging off the back of the door.

I let out a small gasp on entering my room, where I find Tommy sitting on the edge of the bed, his face in his hands.

“Is everything okay?”I ask, suddenly worried. “Have you heard anything?”

He glances up. His usual emerald-green eyes are more of a forest moss in this light. “No news yet. I just wanted to check you were all right.”

I swallow, round the bed, and sit beside him, sinking into the mattress.

“The question is, are you?”

He nods and then shakes his head as though he’s at war with himself.

“I hate the look of rejection that crosses your face when I can’t give you what you want.”

His words are like a physical blow. “You give me more than you could know. I wish I could make you feel half of the way you make me feel,”I reply, my hand itching to take hold of his, but I know he needs to be the one to initiate it.

“God, Lily, you do. You opened up parts of me I thought had died. There are so many things I want to experience with you,but the thought of having no control is what’s stopping me, and I’d never ask you to relinquish yourself to me. That’s not fair on you.”

Swallowing hard, I hold his gaze. “But you’re not Tommy. I’d happily give myself over to you if it meant you felt comfortable enough to be with me,”I reply honestly.

He traces his finger over the back of my hand, causing my body to break out in goosebumps.

“But that’s the thing, I am comfortable with you, Lily. It’s not you that’s the problem. It’s me and the fear you’ll suddenly touch me. I haven’t been with anyone... not since—”His words get stuck in his throat.

Avery’s words sit heavy in my mind.

Submit to him.

I pull on my reserves to do just that.

“Then I won’t... touch you, I mean, not unless you ask me to.”I move to my knees, hand reaching for the belt of my dressing gown. “Here, use this.”I pull the cotton belt through the loops and hand it to him before holding my wrists together.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

TOMMY

“What?” I look at her hands and the belt before returning my gaze to her face. I cock a brow. “You want me to tie you up?”

She swallows, a nervous tell, her eyes flicking to the side briefly. “If it helps you feel in control.”

I study her face. “You’d do that for me. Put yourself at my mercy, trust me like that?”

This time, when she nods, it’s with more confidence. “Yes, I would. I want this, Tommy. I want you.”

Fuck, I want her too.

“We can try,” I eventually reply. “Lay back, move your hands to the headboard, and hold onto the slats.”

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