Page 51 of Ours to Keep

“That’s the thing, Lily, I want to tell you. I just don’t know how much I’m ready to share with you yet. I may never share everything, but if we move forward, maybe sharing parts of my past will help us do that. Because for the first time, I see a future beyond my work and the guys. I see a future with you,” he says with raw honesty.

I blink back at him. Hearing him say that out loud fills me with warmth.

“You see a future with me?” I whisper back.

He nods, his eyes a rich emerald, sparkling with honesty. “Ido, but I don’t want you to feel pressured. That’s not why I told you.”

I swallow. “I don’t. Thank you for telling me.”

Tommy smiles, the pad of his thumb brushing over my bottom lip.

What I don’t tell him is how I want that, too. Because I have no idea how that would even work. Even with everything that happened, I know that somehow, each of the guys has managed to capture a piece of my heart, and the last thing I’d ever want is to be selfish with him, with any of them.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, palming the back of my neck, his eyes so intense that I could easily get lost in them.

I bite the inside of my mouth. “That I like you... that I like all of you.” The admission causes my skin to heat.

“And you feel confused, conflicted,” he summarises.

I glance away. “Yes, it’s hard to put into words.”

“I know, Lily, and you’re not expected to, either. We’ll take it one day at a time, okay?”

His eyes move to my mouth and back again. It causes my heart to race as he leans in, his soft lips a welcoming caress.

The kiss is unhurried, warm and full of affection. It’s also brief but no less powerful.

Wordlessly, he leads me back into my room and towards my bed, pulling back the covers for me to climb in.

I do, burrowing down into the soft mattress, and he picks up the book from my bedside table. “Do you want me to stay and read to you for a while?”

I smile. “You’d do that?”

“Of course.” He moves to the other side of the bed, sits up against the headboard, and opens the book.

As he begins to read, I’m lulled into a cocoon of comfort, listening to his soothing Yorkshire accent—one I’ve come to trust so much.

Chapter Twenty-Four

TOMMY

She’s becoming increasingly distant as the days go on. After we first arrived, she slept on and off for the first couple of days, which was understandable. But now it’s been two weeks and she’s restless, her sleeping has become more sporadic. I don’t know how to make things better for her. There’s this urge to pull her into me and hold her, and I have when she’s been at her lowest, her melancholy calling to mine. But this is different. She’s pulling away, withdrawing. Maybe I’m not the man she needs right now. River or Elliot would have been the better choice—hell, even Jax. At least they can give her what she needs. They’re tactile with her, and it’s like second nature. With me, I have to consciously work on breathing through any anxiety, pushing it down to offer her even a small semblance of physical comfort to give her my touch.

I’m a poor fucking substitute.

“Fuck.” I slam the book I was reading shut, the pages fluttering. The words have been a blur, offering no solace. Reading, which has always been my escape, now feels futile.

Is that because Lily has become a way for me to do that? By being in her presence, she’s given me another way to find peacewithout even trying. It wasn’t even anything she’d done. Slowly, she’s managed to infiltrate all my carefully constructed barriers.

I find Lily staring out the window, the sky awash with pale oranges and pinks, colouring the clouds as they fade into deeper purples and blues as the sun dips below the horizon. The light casts a serene glow over the water.

“Want some company?” I ask, my voice gentle as I step closer.

She glances over her shoulder, her eyes heavy with her fatigue. She smiles at me, but it is just a reaction—it’s not real. I can see the torment clouded within her expression.

“Of course,” she replies, her voice barely above a whisper.“I’m sorry, you must be bored out of your mind stuck here with me.”

I sit in the chair beside her. “Not at all, I don’t mind the quiet.”

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