Page 21 of Ours to Keep

“Jackson,” she breathes, blinking rapidly to try and fight back tears. It’s all it takes to regain my senses, and then I move towards her bed. Her arms reach out for me, and I lean down to pull her into my arms. “He has her,” she says against my chest, her voice muffled.

“I know, Duchess, but we’ll find him. I promise.”

Eventually, she pulls back, eyes scanning my face. She gasps, her palm moving to cup my jaw, the pad of her thumb softly caressing my bottom lip.

“What happened?”

I shake my head and cover her hand with mine, gently tugging it away.

“Nothing, don’t you worry about me, I’m fine,” I reply, dropping into the chair beside her bed, keeping her hand in mine. “How are you feeling?” I cringe at the question.

“I’ve been better,” she replies softly. “Ready to get out of here, if I’m being honest.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, that was a ridiculous question. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow. It’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay.”

I keep her hand in mine, desperately needing that connection, even though it’s the least I deserve.

“Listen, I’d understand if you didn’t want anything to do with me, especially after... everything.”

She frowns, causing her forehead to crinkle. “What are you talking about? Do you regret it? Is that it?”

“Yes and no,” I admit. I feel the tug of her hand as her cheeks heat, but I refuse to let go.

“God, Lily, no, not like that, fuck, that’s not what I meant.”

“Then explain,” she says.

“I was an arsehole. Me coming to your room the way I did. Using the guys and whatever was going on between you as an excuse. Thinking that if I gave into my craving for you, my feelings towards you would decrease.”

She frowns at my response. “And how did that work out for you?”

I almost want to laugh at her question, but it’s fruitless. “Other than the fact I was seriously deluding myself, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“All it did was show me that one time with you would never be enough,” I confess.

“So, what did you mean a moment ago?”

I shake my head in a poor attempt to clear my thoughts. “That you deserved better than me.”

She sighs and squeezes my other hand hard as if to anchor me or herself, but I’m not even sure. “I already told you. I wanted to. I don’t regret it, Jackson. You gave me what I needed, what I asked for. It would have been worse if you’d rejected me.”

I scoff at that. “Even with the greatest will in the world, I’d never be able to deny you, Duchess. Even if it was for the best. I wish I could tell you otherwise. But I’m a selfish bastard when it comes to you and doing what’s right.” I reach out and tuck some loose hair behind her ear, my anger spiking when I see the stitches to her temple. “Because if I was a better man, I would have stayed away. I’ve already failed you twice. You should be telling me to fuck off, requesting someone else to take over. God only knows it would be the right thing to do.”

Lily sits up straighter at my confession, wincing slightly, but I refuse to comment. She’s one of the strongest people I know, and I don’t want to make her feel weak.

“No, it wouldn’t. I wasn’t transparent about Richard.” She swallows hard after saying his name. “And that’s on me. I just never expected he would do this.” She pauses, waving her hand towards herself. “And the thing with George... I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. Richard’s insistence I invite him and have him seated at my table. Then George said how Richard told him I was a good girl.” She visibly shivers in disgust at the term, unlike when I said as much when I had her on her knees for me. All this is doing is adding to my need for vengeance. “I don’t know why he’d have said something like that in the first place, unless it was premeditated.” Her fingers gently brush against her forehead as she closes her eyes in frustration.

I tug on her wrist and rub my thumb over the back of her hand.

“Try not to over think any of this right now, Lily. You just need to recover… it’s why when you’re discharged, I think it would be for the best if you go to a safe house.”

Chapter Twelve

LILY

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