Page 18 of Ours to Keep

“Come here, please,” I say, holding out my hand towards him.

He moves without hesitation and reaches out to take my hand, standing beside Avery. I can feel her eyes on me, but I refuse to look at her.

“Tommy, this wasn’t your fault.”

He opens his mouth, a retort on his lips. But I shake my head, even though the motion makes me feel nauseous, but my need to reassure him overrides any pain I’m feeling.

I tug on his hand for him to come closer, and he willingly leans over and allows me to reach up and cup the back of his neck. I feel him shiver beneath my touch, but he doesn’t tense, just inhales sharply once before exhaling.

“I don’t blame you. Or any of the guys,” I whisper.

His eyes search my face. “Well, we blame ourselves,” he admits, and I hate that look that crosses his face. I sigh, knowing it’s doubtful he’ll relinquish whatever guilt he’s currently feeling.

Avery clears her throat, not so subtly, and I almost smile untilI’m quickly reminded of the conversation we need to have, one that is long overdue.

“Well, I don’t, but I need to talk to Avery. Will you give me a minute, please?”

I know that between him and the guys, they’ve barely left my side, which I’m grateful for, but this conversation is one I owe to have with Avery privately. She’s my best friend, and I know this is already going to be hard enough.

He looks over my face and nods, leaning in and kissing my forehead, his six o’clock shadow tickling my skin. Squeezing my hand, he lets go and leaves me alone with Avery; the door clicking softly behind him as he waits outside.

Avery hooks her thumb over her shoulder. “What was all that about?” she asks.

I raise an eyebrow because that’s a conversation for another day.

Truthfully, I’d much rather have a conversation with her about the guys than what I’m about to tell her.

I take a deep breath, trying to steady my trembling voice. “Avery, there are things you don’t know. Things I haven’t told you about Richard.”

Her anger falters, replaced with confusion. “What do you mean, Lily?”

Closing my eyes, I gather the courage to speak my truth. When I open them again, I find Avery staring at me, waiting. “Richard... he’s a monster. This isn’t the first time he’s hurt me.”

Her face pales, her eyes widening in shock. “What? What do you mean this isn’t the first time he hurt you? He did this to you? Richard did this to you?”

I nod, and hate that tears openly stream down my face. You’d think I’d be cried out by now, numb to it, but no.

“Yes.”

“Oh my God, Lily.I always knew he was a bastard, but this...shit, this is on a whole other level. Why did you never tell me?” she asks, her voice filled with concern.

“I was terrified, Avery. It was only ever idle threats before mum died, but after… that’s when the physical abuse started.”

She visibly swallows, her lips parting to ask a question she doesn’t need to verbalise because I know what’s on the tip of her tongue.

I shake my head. “No, he never touched me, not like that, he never raped me.”

“When you say physical abuse, is that why you were always so self-conscious about some of the clothes you’d wear and sharing changing rooms and stuff?”

Ashamed, I nod, staring down at my lap.

“Hey,” she says softly, ducking her head enough to catch my eye. “I’m so sorry I didn’t see the signs. I could have helped you.”

I shake my head. “He told me no one would believe me after he’d hurt me. He threatened me and told me I’d never see Mia again. Now he has her. He pulled her out of school, and we don’t know where they are, only that they’re in France.”

Avery’s concern shifts to outright fierce, protective rage. Mia is like a sister to her, too. “That absolute cunt,” she spits. “He’s not going to get away with this, I swear. We’ll do everything possible to get her back and make him pay.”

She doesn’t ask me for details about Richards’s abuse. For the most part, as I got older, it was mostly verbal, occasionally a backhander, but the cigar burns were enough of a deterrent for me not to step out of line or risk saying something to anyone. I just had to bide my time until I reached twenty-one.

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