Page 81 of Ours to Keep

Raising an eyebrow, I raise my chin. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

She settles onto her grey button chaise lounge, resting her arm over the back. “Nope, I have plenty of time.”

“Okay, fine.”

I tell her about the hotel, my encounter with Jackson and my treasured moments with Tommy. By the time I’ve finished, she is fanning herself with a dreamy look.

She sighs. “Oh my God, Lils, talk about living your best life.”

And then her eyes widen. “Of course, not all the other shit you’ve endured. All I mean is, high fucking five to you. I’m proud you finally got some tender, loving care down there. And well deserved action.”

I laugh off her comment, but it quickly dissipates. “Do you think it’s wrong that I want them all...that I have feelings for all of them?”

Avery’s eyes soften. “No, Lily, not at all. Even if no feelings were involved and you wanted to take them all out for a test drive, there’s nothing wrong with that either.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?”

She shakes her head. “Define weird? Just because it’s not something in everyday society, it doesn’t make it weird or wrong. And as long as you’re careful and they give as much as they take, I say it’s all good.”

Avery knows my experience up until this point has been limited and that I was a virgin, but I love her even more for not judging me or shying away from talking about it, especially with how awkward I can be at times.

“I never imagined it would be like this,”I admit. “The way they make me feel, they’re the pieces of my heart I never knew were missing.”

She swoons at my confession. “Damn it, Lils. You’re in love with them, aren’t you?”

I swallow hard and suck in a breath. “Yes, and Iam absolutely terrified.”

“Ican’t imagine finding one soulmate, let alone four. Understandably,you’d be scared and havereservations.”

Soulmates?

Sometimes, I forget how much Avery is a romantic at heart. She believes in fate and that there is someone out there for everyone.

“What if they decide I’m more hassle than I’m worth? What happens if they suddenly get bored of me?”My thoughts are on a downward spiral. “If I give over to these feelings, they have the power to take it away. I’m not sure I’d cope with that.”My chest tightens at the thought of losing them, and yet they’re not mine, not really. I mean, can a person belong to another?

“Lily,”Avery says, her voice level and steady. “I need you to take a deep breath, okay?”

Her words pull me back, and I do as she says, trying not to allow my anxiety to get the best of me.

I scrub my hand over my face and let out a deep groan. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

Avery frowns. “Don’t apologise. It’sa lot to take in under any other given circumstances. With everything else on top, it’s unsurprising you’re overwhelmed.”

“Thank you, I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

She smiles. “That’s good, because you’re stuck with me. Meeting you was fate, but becoming your best friend was a choice. And I’ll always choose you.”

“Ditto.”

Reaching for my wineglass, I drain thelast of my wine.

“Easy there, slugger, you want to be on your A game for Tommy,”she says, wiggling her eyebrows and poking her tongue inside her cheek in a suggestive manner.

My skin flushes hot. “That’s the thing, with his past, it’s hard for him.”I never went into detail about what happened. I would never betray his confidence like that, and I know Avery would never ask. “He needs to be in control.”

She shrugs unconcerned. “So give him control,”she replies like it’s the simplest solution.

I lick my lips. “What do you mean?”

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