Page 40 of Ours to Keep

She lowers herself to the edge of the king-size bed.

“I know, I’m sorry,”she whispers, wringing her hands in her lap, eyes cast down.

I move towards her, my fists clenching with the need to reach out and comfort her. Taking a deep breath, I move my hand to her shoulder, and squeeze gently.

“You have nothing to apologise for, Lily. Us, on the other hand, have everything to apologise for.”

Her eyes rise to mine as she lifts her chin, a soft sigh escaping her lips. “Will you ever forgive yourselves?”she asks.

I shake my head. “Doubtful. Avery wasn’t wrong, Lily.”Releasing her shoulder, I sit beside her. “We had one job, andwe failed you one timetoo many.”

She swallows and turns her head to face me. “I don’t know how many times Ihave to reiterate that it’s not yourfault. If anything, I blame myself.”

I hate the self-deprecation in her voice and her very wrong assessment.

“You shouldn’t. You’re the least to blame in this whole fucked up situation.”

“I wish that were true.”She glances away, a flicker of shame crossing her features, one I’m all too familiar with.

“It is true, Lily. I understand more than most about self-blame. But I assure you what you are feeling is a common trauma response. You’ve been through a lot, sunshine. Just give yourself some time and grace, okay?”

When she doesn’t reply, I take a deep breath and move my hand to cup her cheek, encouraging her to face me again. “I know it’s hard, but I’m here if you want to talk. You can lean on me, always.”

“Thank you, Tommy.”

She attempts a smile, drawing my gaze to her mouth before returning to her eyes. Stormy orbs of grey stare back at me, herexpression one of melancholy. I wish more than anything I could fix this, take away her pain and sadness.

“Anytime.”I release her cheek. “I’ll go get those bags,”I say, pushing to my feet. “Here.”I pull her burner phone from my hoody pocket and hand it to her. “Why don’t you call Avery and let her know you’ve arrived safely? She’s speed dial two.”

She quirks an eyebrow at that. “I don’t know how she’ll feel about not being number one,”she says, a small trace of humour in her voice.

“Jax insisted on being number one on speed dial.”

“Of course he did,”she replies, with a small roll of her eyes.

“I won’t be long.”

I feel hesitant to leave her. I glance back over my shoulder, the phone already pressed to her ear. Leaving the door open, I make my way back downstairs. Pulling out the other burner phone, I dial Jax.

“Tommy,”he answers on barely the first ring.

“Were you sitting on the phone?”

“Ha fucking ha. Everything all right?”

Opening the front door, I’m instantly hit with cold, crisp air as I pull it closed and lock it behind me. I jog over to the car, the automatic lock opening. I climb behind the wheel, start the engine, and drop the phone into the cupholder as it connects to the Bluetooth.

“Yes, we arrived about ten minutes ago,”I reply, driving slowly towards the garage.

“Yeah, Elliot told me.”

I’m not surprised, the car does have a tracker after all.

“I’m just moving the car to the garage. This place is unreal. I can see why Caleb bought it.”

I think of the size of the property and number of rooms, how it would easily accommodate all of us, and I wish Lily were here under other circumstances.

“Well, he never does anything by half.”

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