Page 34 of Ours to Keep

I glance towards the guest room, my heart aching for her. “She’s stronger than she looks, but we need to remind her of that now more than ever.”

The room falls into a heavy silence, a dark cloud hanging over us. We can’t afford to fail her, not again, never again.

“Let’s get some rest,”Jax finally says, breaking the silence. “I want us to be ready for whatever comes next. Tommy, especially you. I need you on top form.”

We all nod in agreement and understanding, retreating to our respective flats.

The weather has taken a turn, the sound of rain pelting against the windows and the distant rumble of thunder, the weather only adding to my frustration. I spend over an hour pacing like a caged animal before I find myself back in Jax’squiet and dark flat, my handprint deactivating the alarm and reactivating once I’m inside.

Slowly, I enter Lily’s room again, but I come up short this time. Sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room, watching her, is Jax.

If he’s surprised by my arrival, he doesn’t show it. I walk around the bed, so I’m on the opposite side, and stare down at her. Her face is pinched tight, her eyelids moving rapidly.

“She’s good to travel tomorrow. I spoke to her before I finally got her to take some pain meds. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep, but she’s restless,”he says in a whisper, but loud enough for me to hear him.

There’s a flash of lightning behind the curtain before the loud crash of thunder, causing Lily to startle, a whimper escaping her.

Jax leans forward in his chair.“It’s just a storm, Duchess,”he says softly.

I sit on the edge of the bed and reach for her other hand.“We’re here, you’re safe.”

“Please, don’t leave me,”she whispers, her voice trembling, her words a plea. “Stay.”

Without a word, I pull back the covers, slip in beside her, and gently pull her body closer to mine.

“Sleep, I’ll watch over you,”Jax says, still holding her hand.

“I’ll stay until she’s settled,”I whisper, our breaths slowly syncing.

“Stay as long as you want, Riv. I know you need her as much as she needs you.”

Chapter Seventeen

JAX

I sit in the armchair in the corner, watching over Lily with River nestled in beside her. It’s a small comfort knowing she’s here and safe for now. But the distant storm outside battles with the matching storm brewing inside my mind as I recollect the events of the past couple of days. If I had more willpower and hadn’t gone to her that night, she wouldn’t be lying here now, looking like a ghost of her former self. Her little sister wouldn’t be in the clutches of an abusive, narcissistic sociopath. But at the same time, I can’t regret it either. Being with her is like catching your breath after being pulled under a powerful wavewhen you finally come back up for air.

Fingers squeezing my hand has me jolting awake.I don’t know how long I must have sat here staring before sleep took me. But if the crook in my neck and the pain in my back are anythingto go by, it’s been at least a few hours.

“Jackson,” Lily whispers. I can just make out her face, having switched the lamp off shortly after River and Lily drifted off. “You’ll hurt yourself sleeping like that,” she says, her voice hoarse.

“I’m fine,” I reply, letting go of her hand to reach for theglass of water on the bedside table. “Here, drink.” I gently cup the back of her neck, holding the rim of the glass to her lips. After a few sips, she lets out a soft sigh, and I lower her head back onto the pillow. She peers to her left and finds River still asleep, lips slightly parted, his arm laying across her waist.

“Is he hurting you? If his arm is too heavy, I can wake him and make him move.”

Lily glances towards River again, her lips rising into a soft smile. “No. He’s fine. Kind of reminds me of a weighted blanket,” she replies quietly, her eyes returning to my face. “You don’t have to sit there all night, not because of me.”

I shake my head. “No, I don’t, but I want to be here.” It would be so easy to hide my truths from Lily, but after everything she’s been through, it’s the least she deserves. I glance back to River, an unease washing over me. Each of the guys is so much more worthy of her than me, yet I’ll take any part of her she’s willing to give, especially after everything.

Lily reaches for my hand.“The least you can do is lay down with me.” She tugs on my wrist delicately. Thatalone has me moving onto the bed to join her, unable to deny her.

She shuffles, not enough to lay on her side, just enough to turn her face towards me.

“I don’t blame you, not any of you. But every time you look at me, I see you at war with yourself. I see the self-blame.”

I swallow, hating how she can see through all my defences as easily as a hot knife through butter—a lump forms in my throat. “You don’t understand, Lily, when we found you… I… I thought we’d lost you. I should’ve protected you better,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. The guilt gnaws at me, relentless and unyielding. “You’re not the first person I care about that I’ve let down.”

“But it’s not your fault.”

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