Page 20 of Saved By Two

I wouldn’t put it past him to pay that fucker a visit once his meeting is dealt with. I watch as he clenches and unclenches his fists.

He doesn’t reply, and honestly, I can’t say I blame him, but I’m hoping he’ll weigh the pros and cons while he’s on his way to work and think better of going in hot-headed.

One way or another, Curtis will get his dues. It just depends on when and how.

I decide to grab a bottle of water for Jessica, an excuse to check on her, but before I do, I grab my phone and pull up Elliot’s number. He answers on the second ring. Because the fact I’m even calling him means it's important.

ChapterTen

JESSICA

I don’t know how or when this became my life, seeking refuge with two men I barely know while hiding out from someone who claimed to love me. How could I have been so damn naive? I always was a fairy tale kind of girl. I even grew up believing in happily ever afters, which is pretty pathetic now that I think about it. I walk into the en-suite and stare at my reflection.

I hardly even recognise myself, and I’m not talking about the bruises or the split lip staring back at me. But the weak version of myself I have become.

I pull up my top and stare at the marks marring my skin and take a deep breath. It's a weird contrast because the pain reminds me I’m alive, yet I’ve never felt so strangely detached or numb.

My lips pull into a straight line. “I hate you,” I whisper.

“I hate you. I hate you. I hate you…” A sob catches in my throat because it’s true, I have never hated myself more than I do now.

My vision blurs, and I’m unable to keep the tears at bay as I slide down the wall and wrap my arms around my knees, pulling them into my chest. I’m bombarded with vivid memories. I just want to disappear. The self-loathing is so overwhelming, breathing becomes even more of a struggle. It’s suffocating.

I cover my ears, trying to drown out the voices in my head as I rock back and forth. My head is pounding, my body aching, and my heart feels as though it’s fractured beyond repair. I wish I had the strength to pull myself together, but I don’t.

How could I when this is all my fault?

I let this happen and became a victim.

I should have stood up for myself.

Left him sooner.

I only have myself to blame. This is on me.

Repeating the same things to myself, over and over again, is exhausting, and I find myself lying down, the tiled floor cool against my skin. I’m hot, and yet I can’t seem to stop shivering.

What is wrong with me?

My stomach churns, the urge to vomit and purge everything terrible about me pulling at my insides, but I don’t have the energy.

A hand on my shoulder startles me, my heart racing in my chest as I blink up to find the concerned face of Noah.

“Jessica, what are you doing on the floor?”

Before I can even conjure an answer, he swoops me into his arms.

“Fuck, sweet girl, you’re freezing.”

I swallow, trying to find my voice, but my throat is raw from all the crying. I feel exhausted on so many levels.

There’s a sound of heavy footsteps nearby.

“Noah, I’m heading out…”

Deep low rumbles of voices echo around me, but I can’t make heads or tails of what they’re saying. All I know is I want to sleep with no dreams, just darkness, a void where I am nothing and no one.

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