Page 65 of Somebody To Love

“And why not?”

“She said she’s in love with me, mom.”

A soft smile lit her face. “Yes, I should think that would make things easier in this whole situation.”

She didn’t get it. No one did. “But she wants to be together. Like, serious relationship together.”

“And what do you want?”

He dragged a hand through his hair, pulling, causing the scalp to sting. He welcomed the pain, anything to take his mind off the aching hole in the middle of his chest.

“I don’t know.”

“Why can’t you have a serious relationship with Penny? Would it be so bad to marry your best friend? It’s what I did.”

“Yeah, and look how that turned out.”

Her gasp had him kicking himself.

“Oh shit, mom. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Language, Bravo. And what did you mean?”

Body heavy with the weight of…everything, he sank into the chair beside him. “I just…I saw what happened to you after dad died. I saw how you kind of…fell apart. You two were wild about each other and when he was killed, it was like your entire world died with him. What’s the point of loving someone when they can be taken away?”

“Oh, baby.” She knelt in front of him, cradling his face in her palms. “Oh, my poor sweet boy. I did a number on you, didn’t I?”

He tried to speak, but she shushed him.

“You listen to me, Bravo Jackson. I loved your father with all my heart and yes, it destroyed a part of me when he died, but it didn’t take all of me. I still have you and your brothers and sister. I’m sorry if I wasn’t there for you kids like I should have been after Lawrence passed. That’s on me. I was grieving, but I forgot you all lost your father, too. We all lost someone we loved very much, but that didn’t mean we stopped living.”

“But you never dated again. You never moved on.”

Two dark eyebrows rose high. “Oh really? You think you know everything about your mother?”

Wait? Was she saying she’d dated? Who? When?

“Sweetie, I didn’t stop living once your father was gone. I’ve just never found another person to share my life with. I know I’ll never find anyone to replace your father. He’s irreplaceable, but that doesn’t mean I won’t give someone else a chance if I think there’s a possibility for me to find love again.”

“But…how could you go on? Knowing you might lose them too?”

“Life gives us no guarantees but loss. Everyone dies someday. The point of living is enjoying the time we have now. Loving the people around us, whether we get to love them for only a day or a lifetime.” Her warm, wrinkled hand patted his cheek. “No one is promised forever. That’s why we have to do as much with today as we can.”

Her words sunk into his fear-addled brain. Could it be that simple? Living for today? Such a clichéd phrase, but maybe it didn’t have to be. Planning for the future was a necessity, because tomorrow came whether or not you were here. If you didn’t plan for it, you were in a heap of trouble, but maybe, when it came to love and relationships—the intangible things in life—you had to treat every day as if it was the only one.

Love with all your soul, enjoy every moment to the fullest. Life could suck. There’d be bad days. No getting around that, but maybe he could risk possible darkness for the promise of the light of today. And who knew, perhaps he’d be a lucky enough bastard to get to keep his happiness—his Penny—for the rest of his life.

As always, his mother was right. Tomorrow wasn’t promised to anyone. Why play it safe when safety could never be assured?

“Ask yourself what you truly want, son. Then go out there and get it.”

“But what if it’s too late?” Penny had told him to think about it, but what exactly did that mean? How long would she give him to think? And holy hell, was he really ready to do this? Lay everything on the line and take a flying leap?

His mother smiled, kissing his forehead like she used to do when he was a boy, tucking him safely in his bed at night. Safe. Was anyone ever truly safe or was life one big game of dodge the pain? Might be nice to have a partner on your team if that was the case. Someone you loved. Someone who loved you back.

“Oh sweetie, it’s never too late for love.”

He hoped that, once again, his mother was right.

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