Page 56 of Somebody To Love

“Stupid,” he muttered to himself as he stirred the eggs in the hot pan. “It’s not like it affects you whether she is pregnant or not.”

But it did. It affected him because once they succeeded, it was over. This…whatever they were doing would be accomplished. No more sex. No more Penny.

He grunted, running a hand over his long hair, pulling it up to secure it in a topknot with one of the ties lying on the counter. He didn’t know if it was his hair tie or Penny’s. The past few weeks, he’d been staying here a lot. His stuff had gradually migrated here, mixing in with hers.

“No more Penny. Idiot. It’s not like she’s going to stop being your best friend just because she’ll be a mom.”

Their relationship might go back to the platonic friendship they had before, but she wouldn’t cut him out of her life. He’d still have her…

But not like now. Not all of her.

Shoving some bread in the toaster, he checked on the sausages, brown and perfect. Sprinkling some shredded cheese on the eggs, he stirred them around the pan as the bread toasted. Once everything was done, he plated it, trying to think of the food and not the confusing mess of emotions running through his mind right now.

This was about Penny and what she needed. She was the one going through pain right now. Physical and emotional. Her needs mattered. He was doing her a favor. He didn’t get to be upset by the lack of results. It was unfair of him.

He glanced down at her plate, piled high with food. “I’m just upset for her.”

The breakfast didn’t answer.

Yeah, all this perplexing emotional stuff whirling around in his brain was simply the reaction of seeing his best friend upset. Nothing more. He’d always been one to take on others’ problems. Hence the hero complex his siblings so often accused him of. Whenever his mother had been upset as a child, he’d been the one to cheer her up. When Charlie got her heart broken in high school, he’d been the one to take her to that little punk’s house and help eggs the bastard’s car. Mature? Not really, but it had put a smile on his sister’s face.

He chuckled and gave a slight shake of his head. Man, he’d been worried he was going off the deep end there. He could almost hear his sister’s voice taunting him, telling him this thing went deeper. They’d wanted more. What did Charlie know? The woman had never had a successful romantic relationship in her life. He loved his sister, but she was crap with relationship advice. She didn’t know what they wanted out of life. Penny didn’t want more, and he sure as hell didn’t. What they had right now worked for them and if it went back to a platonic friendship after? He could deal with that.

As long as he had Penny in his life, he’d be fine. If she was happy, that’s all he needed. Wife, kids, that whole family dynamic wasn’t for him. He didn’t want more. He didn’t need more. All he needed was what he had. No matter what anyone said. Even that tiny little voice in the back of his head whispering he was full of bullshit.

CHAPTER 24

“Alison, Collin, you two stop fighting right this minute or there will be no dessert!”

Penny hid a smile in her napkin at the forlorn expressions on her niece and nephew's faces. Who knew mouths could turn down that much?

“But, Mooooom,” Collin whined sweetly, putting on his puppy dogs eyes. “BJ said they’re making chocolate cake for everyone tonight.”

The night had finally arrived. Opening night of Jacks Restaurant. The place had been packed since the doors opened two hours ago. BJ had reserved a special table for her, her parents, and her sister’s family. He’d been running back and forth to check on them while helping his siblings with opening night.

“Then behave or you won’t be getting any.” Her sister pointed at both the children. “Either of you.”

The two quickly settled down, but she noticed Alison nudge her brother slightly when he muttered something from the corner of his mouth. The bickering made her remember her own childhood. She and her sister hadn’t fought much, mostly because her nose was always in a book, but they had had their occasional spats. Her mother implemented much the same threats as her sister had.

Must be a mom thing.

The sadness that had been tugging at her for two days—since she discovered Operation Get Pregnant hadn’t succeeded—sunk like a stone in her chest. Then there were the other emotions vying for attention in her overly crowded brain. Fear, longing, desire, love.

Love.

Yes. There was no denying it. She loved BJ. For how long she couldn’t say, maybe always? Ever since they’d met, he’d been her protector, her confidant, her best friend. Had the love always been there, or had it matured over the years? She didn’t know, and truthfully, it didn’t matter. What she knew was that she needed to talk to him. Needed to tell him. She couldn’t go on with their plan, knowing she was in love with him.

When they agreed he would help her conceive a child, it had been different. Only friendship existed in their world. She could raise a child and allow her best friend into their life, no problem. What she couldn’t do was see the man she loved interact with their child while knowingly holding something this huge from him.

It wasn’t fair.

They never had secrets from each other. Ever. And she did not intend to start now.

“Everybody having a good time? How’s the food?”

She turned her head at the deep, intimately familiar voice behind her. BJ smiled, his long hair pulled back into a bun, pale blue eyes focused directly on her. Beard neatly trimmed. His lips curled in a devilish smile. The kind he gave her right before he kissed the ever-living daylights out of her.

“Everything is wonderful, Bravo,” her mother answered. “The food is amazing and the atmosphere. I love all the historical items on the wall dedicated to our state. It makes it feel homey yet educational.”

---