Page 14 of Somebody To Love

It had popped into his head, and he spouted it off. He didn’t think Penny would go for it. Hell, he’d been half joking when he said it. Who seriously offered their best friend sperm?

“So, you’d have a kid?” Ace asked.

“No, she’d have a kid. I’m only supplying the…baby-making material.”

“Yeah, but this isn’t like an anonymous donation. You guys are best friends. You see each other almost every day. You’re gonna be in that kid’s life. Can you really see them every day, knowing they come from you, have a part of you inside them, and not step up to the plate as a parent?”

Now his brother was pissing him off. The tumblers rattled as he slammed a fist on the table. “I’m not abandoning anyone. I’ll be around to help however she needs. I’m sure we’ll work something out, but Penny doesn’t want a partner. She doesn’t want a husband. She wants a kid, and she wants me to help give her one.”

Ace ignored his outburst, grabbing his glass and sipping as he muttered to himself. “Pretty damn big favor.”

“I know. I don’t know what to do.”

Silence filled the distillery as they sat there, sipping Jacks Moonshine Whiskey. Thankfully, everyone had already left for the night. It was one thing to reveal this stuff to Ace. He didn’t want to deal with Del or Charlie’s opinion on the matter. Not until he’d made up his mind.

“Well, you did offer. If you weren’t serious about it, you have to tell her. But if you go through with this, you’ll still be in that kid’s life. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do.” But Penny didn’t want him to be a dad. Fine with him. He never imagined himself as a father. He was more the fun uncle. Maybe that’s what he could be to this kid. Technically, the DNA would be half his, but any nieces or nephews his siblings gave him would have some of his genetics, too. Could he think of it like that? A baby connected to him, but not…his?

A sharp pounding throbbed above his right eye. This whole thing was giving him a headache. Or maybe that was all the whiskey he and Ace had been downing.

“I just want to help make her happy. Penny never asks anybody for anything. You know that.”

His best friend was so self-reliant sometimes it worried him. She wouldn’t even let him help her move out of dickwad’s apartment when they broke up. Said she had to be strong and do it herself. She was the strongest damn person he knew.

“I understand all that, but this is a lot to ask of a person. There are emotions involved here that might not come into play until it’s too late to change things. We’re talking about a human life.”

He knew that. Why the hell did his brother think he was having such a hard time figuring this out? But they weren’t just talking about a future life, they were also talking about Penny’s life. He knew how badly she wanted to be a mother. He saw the longing in her eyes every time she hung out with her niece and nephew. She loved those kids to death, would do anything for them. He had every confidence she’d make a great mom. Who was he to say how she started her family? He guessed he had some say since she was asking him to help her conceive.

“Whatever you decide, it’s going to change things.”

Shit, he knew that too, but life was all about change. He liked it better when he got to direct the flow of that change. Sucked when it just happened to you, like the death of their father. He knew right now he held his best friend’s happiness in his hands. A part of him wanted to toss all caution aside and say yes, give her what she wanted, what made her happy. But another part of him feared the repercussions of that action. This was a big step in many ways. It would change things, change them. But if he said no, that would create change, too. A negative one.

“I don’t want to let her down.”

He hadn’t even realized he’d whispered the confession until he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. At some point, Ace had risen from the table and come over to stand by his side. He glanced up into a face identical to his, like looking into a mirror. A grim mirror since Ace rarely smiled.

“I’m sure Penny won’t hold it against you if you say no.”

Maybe not consciously, but he’d always feel like he let her down.

“If you say yes, just remember the impact this will have on not only you, but the entire family. That little baby will be half Jackson and we take care of our own.”

He knew that. Penny had invited his family to be a part of the baby’s life. Hell, she was already a part of the family. Any kid she had would be too. Whether they came from him or someone else.

“Whatever you decide, I’m here for you.”

Ace gave his shoulder another squeeze and headed to the back office, leaving BJ alone with his thoughts. Calmness settled over him. Whether from the talk with Ace or the multiple fingers of whiskey, he had no idea. At least now he could think without a million thoughts racing through his brain. This whole situation was so mired in emotions there was no way to be strictly logical about it.

Truth was, Penny had the means to support a child. She definitely had the emotional love necessary to raise a kid. Every sign pointed to her being a fantastic mother who deserved the baby she wanted so badly. He knew all these things. He also knew she’d be true to her word and not ask a single thing from him he didn’t want to give. But this wasn’t just about him and her. There were more people involved, his family, her family. They needed to talk more.

But not tonight.

Tonight, he had an appointment with his bed. Tomorrow would be soon enough to discuss this further.

He stood, grabbing the two empty tumblers and the bottle of whiskey. Dishes in hand, he headed to the sink. After taking a few hours to finish up his nightly closing duties, he checked in on Ace, not surprised to find his twin hunched over his desk, poring over paperwork.

“I’m heading out.”

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