Page 66 of Somebody To Love

CHAPTER 28

Two days.

Two long, agonizing, lonely days since she saw her best friend. Since she’d even talked or texted him. They hadn’t gone two days without contact since he was overseas.

“Get a grip, Penny,” she scolded her reflection on her computer screen. “You said your piece, laid it all out on the line for him. Can’t do anything else now but wait.”

And eat her way through every pint of ice cream in Kismet. She pushed the empty carton of strawberry swirl away. At this rate she was going to give herself a stomachache.

Dang it! How had this thing gotten this out of hand? All she’d wanted was to have a baby. A child to call her own. Someone she could love. She never expected the someone she loved to be her best friend.

Liar.

Okay, maybe way, way, way deep down her subconscious suspected she had hidden feelings for BJ. Perhaps that was the real reason she wanted him to donate. But then he’d changed the plan. The rules changed and her whole world turned upside down.

Her eyes glazed over, staring at the site she currently worked on, a website for a public speaker and self-help author. “Maybe I should read your books.”

The computer didn’t answer. It didn’t need to. The woman’s catch phrase screamed at her in big, bold letters; seize your truth. A simple statement meant to incite enthusiasm and motivation. And to up her sales, no doubt. Penny couldn’t deny the words were banging around her brain, sinking into the overworked corners of her mind.

Seize my truth. What is my truth?

She wanted to be a mom. Truth. She loved her best friend. Truth. She wanted to be a family with Bravo, and any future children they may have. Truth.

Great. But she already knew all that. It didn’t solve anything.

“Because you can’t always get what you want in life.” Another truth.

Heart squeezing in her chest, she thunked her head down on the table. “Ow.”

Note, table harder than head.

So she might not get all that she wanted. What did that mean? She may be a computer genius, a card-carrying member of Mensa, but she couldn’t figure out what to do about the aching in her chest. This absolute fear that she might have lost her best friend.

How she wanted to call him, chase him down and demand he face this thing between them. Admit there was more than friendship there. There was. She knew it. BJ was simply too scared to admit it.

At least…she hoped.

But the real truth of it all was that she couldn’t force him into anything. First of all, no one forced any Jackson to do anything they didn’t want to do. And second, if she really pushed the issue, he would cave in order to make her happy because that’s what BJ did. He bent over backwards to make everyone around him happy. But she wanted him to be happy, too. She wanted him to come to the same truth she had. That they loved each other, and it was worth it to take the risk.

She wanted BJ, and she wanted a baby, but she didn’t need either to live. To be happy, maybe, but she would get by on her own. Because when it came down to it, all anyone ever had in this life was themselves.

“But it’s sure nice if someone decided to go through it with you.”

And it would be wonderful if BJ could get his head out of his ass and join her.

Feeling another breakdown coming on, she stood and headed to the fridge for another pint of ice cream when a knock on the door stopped her in her tracks. Heart pounding, she hurried to the front door. A quick peek through the peephole had all the hopeful anticipation plummeting down to her toes. It wasn’t BJ. But it was someone close to him. Someone she didn’t know how to face with the current situation.

Since proper manners had been drilled into her from a young age, she opened her front door, pasting what she hoped was a pleasant smile on her face to greet her visitor.

“Mrs. Jackson. Nice to see you.”

“Sweetie, you’re going to have to work on your sincerity if you want a person to believe that.”

“I’m sorry.” She stepped back, waving a hand. “Would you like to come in?”

“Yes, dear, but only for a moment. I have my book club in an hour.”

Dorothy Jackson stepped into her apartment, heading into her living room. But the older woman didn’t sit. Instead, she turned, a serious frown marring her face.

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