Page 59 of Perfect Imperfections

A tender smile lifted his lips. His body might be sated, but for the first time in…ever, he also felt something more. Humbled. Ellie didn’t hide herself or her compulsions with him. She allowed him in. Knowing she felt safe being her true self in his presence made him feel like he could kill a lion with his bare hands.

He winced. Bad analogy. Ellie wouldn’t be so fond of him if he harmed the animals she loved so fiercely.

Slay a dragon. Yeah, that was better. Fiercer and fictional.

Knowing he’d already hovered at her door too long, he turned and headed out of her apartment building to his car. The streetlights lit up the dark night sky, giving him plenty of visibility for the short drive home. He ran into zero traffic, not unusual considering it was past midnight and most places in Sunlight rolled up the sidewalks around ten.

He pulled into the garage, fully expecting to see Gavin and Charlotte sacked out on the couch watching something he’d expressly told his brother his daughter wasn’t allowed to watch—last time it’d been an old school creature feature that had given her nightmares for a week, he’d given his brother a huge lecture about that one—so color him surprised when he came in the living room to see Gavin, sitting on the couch alone watching late night stand up.

“Charlotte in bed?”

His brother turned at his question, a can of soda halfway to his lips. “Oh, hey, man. Yeah. She sacked out around nine during a marathon of Curious George. I put her in bed, and she hasn’t made a peep since.”

“Curious George?”

Gavin snorted. “Yes, oh skeptical one. Like I’d let her watch anything else after last time. She asked for another Godzilla movie, but I convinced her they hadn’t made any more yet.”

His brother had expressed regret after Sullivan told him about Charlotte waking up in the middle of the night crying about the big lizard stomping on all her dolls. He knew Gavin just wanted to be a fun uncle and give Charlotte whatever she wanted, but sometimes his brother forgot how impressionable young kids were.

“How did you survive hours of an inquisitive cartoon monkey?”

Gavin held up his cell. “Stone Blaster. Got the high score on the leader boards.”

He chuckled, coming around to join his brother on the couch. Gavin turned off the TV, taking a sip from his soda.

“So. how’d the date go?” He glanced at the phone, still in his hand. “I mean, it’s past midnight, so either you scored big time, or she kicked you to the curb after ten minutes and you’ve been sulking in your car for the past few hours to avoid the humiliation of defeat.”

He glanced sideways at his brother. “Dating isn’t a game, Gavin.”

“Hell, yeah it is. It’s a team sport, so you either win together or both lose. Although.” He sat back with a meaningful gleam in his eyes. “Sometimes losing can be winning.”

“It’s late. I’m exhausted, and you are not making one ounce of sense.”

“Ah ha!” One finger pointed at him while the rest still gripped the aluminum can. “You’re exhausted. So it did go well.”

A statement rather than a question, but a smile curved his lips as he lay back against the couch cushions. “It went better than well.” Amazing, stupendous, life-altering would be a more appropriate description of the evening he’d just experienced.

“About damn time, man.” Gavin slammed a hard hand down on his shoulder in congratulations. “Shit, I didn’t think you’d ever get serious with another woman after Claire.”

He didn’t want to talk about Claire. He didn’t even want to think about his ex-wife in relation to Ellie. They were two entirely different people. He’d loved Claire, or he thought he had, at one point in their lives. But that love had faded, died, snuffed out the moment his ex-wife decided she preferred the oblivion of drugs and booze to honest communication. Then she’d run before even giving him a chance to help her.

She didn’t want help. That’s why she left. She didn’t want help. Or you. Or Charlotte.

And just like that, a dark cloud settled over his euphoric mood. He could forgive his former wife a lot of things, but one thing he could never understand was how she could abandon Charlotte. Up and leave without sending a single card, making one phone call, checking in on the baby she created with him. No. He would never forgive Claire for abandoning their daughter. And because of that, he’d been reluctant to start any relationship.

How could he guarantee another woman wouldn’t leave and hurt his daughter when her own mother had done just that?

How could he guarantee he wouldn’t fail again?

“We’re not serious,” he denied, an unpleasant taste coating his tongue as the words fell out of his mouth.

“Could’ve fooled me.”

He glared at his brother. Sitting smugly on his couch drinking his soda, telling Sullivan he knew his life better.

“We’re just…seeing how things go.”

“Taking it one day at a time?”

---