Page 15 of Perfect Imperfections

“Going to bed with a man and having him pull down his pants to reveal a pine tree between his legs where a penis should be.”

Cam doubled over with laughter, her forehead smacking Ellie’s hand as she bent. Ellie pulled her slightly stinging hand to her chest. “You know how weird my mind is.”

“Yes, and I love you for it.”

That made one person.

Two if she counted herself, because as much as she got frustrated and angry at the thoughts in her mind, she really did like herself. Everything in her strange brain made her who she was, the good and the bad, and it all rolled into a neat little Ellie ball. At least she enjoyed her own company and Cam did, too. Who knew, maybe there’d be a guy at this thing tonight who was just looking for a game of Ellie ball. Wait, that sounded weird. That metaphor needed work, but she’d have to think about that later.

Cam straightened from her slouched position against the dresser. “We’re looking fabulous. We get two free drinks. And if there aren’t any good matches, at least we’ll have some hilarious stories.”

Ellie slipped her feet into a pair of heels, black Mary Janes with three-inch heels. She had a feeling she’d need all the heights she could get tonight. “Hilarious stories?”

Her friend laughed as they left the bedroom and headed to the front door.

“Oh, sweetie. You have been out of the dating game too long.”

She’d never really been in it. A few disastrous first dates and one nice, but quickly fizzled steady boyfriend in college did not a game player make.

“This event is going to be crawling with skeevy guys trying to get into every available woman’s pants.”

“Then why the hell are we going?” She asked in horror. She wasn’t good with guys in everyday situations, let alone ones where they were trying to take her out back for a little game of hide the eggplant emoji.

Cam opened the apartment door, turning to grace her with an optimistic smile. “Because there’s always that diamond in the rough. The guy who’s looking for the real thing, and Ellie, my friend, tonight he’s going to find you.”

CHAPTER 6

Where the hell is this diamond in the rough guy? All I’m seeing is rough.

Ellie sucked down her second soda, wishing she had taken up the event organizer on the addition of rum to the drink, but she wanted to keep her head clear. Alcohol made her mouth open, and her brain shut off. She didn’t have a problem with that around Cam, but she was trying to make a good impression here. Too bad none of the men she’d met seemed to be concerned with the same thing.

DING!

“Okay, everyone, that’s ten. Switch tables,” the perky coordinator’s voice rang out in the large front bar area of the busy restaurant.

Ten minutes. How could anyone make a genuine connection in ten minutes? She’d barely gotten her name out before the guy in front of her yammered on about his new startup and how many investors he was bagging. As if that would impress her. She hadn’t understood more than a dozen words the dude said. Not that she could have told him that with his verbal diarrhea.

“Damn, has it been ten minutes already?” Mr. Self-involved said as he stood. “Nice talking with you, Abby.”

“It’s Ellie,” she said, but he’d already moved on to the next table and the next woman.

Crap, how much longer was this thing? She was going to kill Cam. The new season of Nailed It just came out. She could be at home in her PJs eating donuts and watching other people epically fail at something. Instead, she was here. At speed dating. Epically failing, herself.

“Hi there.”

She glanced up to see an attractive Asian man with slightly graying hair at his temples and warm brown eyes standing before her. He seemed older than most of the people here, but she wasn’t one to let a little age gap get in her way if the man was nice enough and they clicked.

“Hello.”

“I’m Louis.” He took the chair opposite her, extending his hand.

“Ellie.” She offered her own, happy when he shook it instead of kissing it like the guy twenty minutes ago had done. Ew!

“So, Ellie, what do you do?”

Standard first question. She smiled, taking a sip from her drink and unconsciously tapping the straw three times before answering. “I’m a zookeeper at the Sunlight Zoo. And you?”

Louis’s eyes darting to her straw, her fingers, then back to her. A knowing look filled his gaze as he replied. “I’m a psychiatrist.”

---