Page 45 of The Night We Lost Him

“Why are you turning this into such a big deal?”

“Because. It won’t just be a year.”

“How do you know?”

“Because who would be dumb enough to let you go?”

She ignored this, continued looking through the books. He moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

“Cory…”

“Would you please get in line for the cashier while I finish up here?” she asked. “I really don’t want us to be late for the movie. Indiana isn’t waiting on us to save the Ark of the Covenant.”

“What if we got married?”

“Married?”

She laughed. She laughed so loudly that the woman on the other side of the new arrivals table jumped back.

“Why is that so funny?”

“Sorry,” she mouthed to the woman.

Then she leaned in closer to Liam. “Please. Marriage didn’t save my parents. It wouldn’t save us.”

“What would save us?”

“Who says we need saving?”

“I want to be with you.”

“You are with me. And I’m with you. In the ways that matter.”

“Oh, for goodness sake. Here we go.”

“Witnesses to each other’s lives,” she said. “That was the deal.”

“I wish I had never shown you that poem—”

“… Not something we push and pull from, no promises that someone may need to break. Just the people who know each other. Who love each other. Who see each other. Best friends. Lovers. Whatever title you give it or don’t give it, just how we’ve always been. No way to lose each other.”

“Why is marriage mutually exclusive with that?”

“It isn’t. Not for all people. But for certain people I’m looking at, it would ruin it. You’re not ready yet. You’re not even close to ready to be in the kind of marriage I want. And in my limited experience—”

“You think you’ll get less preachy with more experience?”

She gave him a smile. “I think you can try to lock up commitment in legal papers and promises. It is human nature to want that kind of security. And then it’s human nature to fight against it. Because it is all those things and it’s so much more. And we are lucky enough to have the more.”

“You make this complicated,” he said.

“You make this complicated,” she said. “I just pay attention. If we are supposed to get married, that’s for another day. If we tried to do it today, you know as well as I do, it wouldn’t work.”

“Why not?”

“For starters, I’m going to grad school three thousand miles away.”

“Maybe.”

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