Page 71 of A Sunny Sweetheart for the Cowboy

What grown man leered at his own daughter? Yeah, he was that bad. “I have no interest in having any sort of relationship with him. And if he’s the one who got you back using, then you should cut him off, too.”

“It’s not his fault.”

Paisley shrugged. If that’s how her mother saw the situation, there wasn’t much she could say to dissuade her.

“Is Kait coming up?”

“In a bit. She wanted to give us a few minutes.”

“That’s nice of her. I have such good girls.”

Through no fault of her own. Paisley gave herself a mental head-slap. Mom had tried. She had done her best most of the time… until the drugs. “Mom, this substance abuse thing. It doesn’t have to be like this. You can get clean again. Going into rehab needs to be your choice, though.”

“I don’t know. There doesn’t seem to be much reason for hope.”

“You did well for three years, right? Held down a job, volunteered in the community. Wasn’t it worth it?”

“I was a burden to Kait. You and Amelia didn’t come visit. And you said you’d found religion.” Mom’s voice turned bitter at the end.

“I’m sorry.” Paisley even meant it.

“Why?”

“I guess I felt like the situation was precarious, though it was working for you and Kait. I felt like if I poked my nose in, the balance would be lost.” And, oh, the irony. The balance had tipped, anyway.

“Doesn’t the Bible tell you to honor your parents?”

Ouch. “Yes, it does.” That only went for Mom, right? Not Earl. He might have provided sperm, but he hadn’t been a parent. “I’m sorry. I am. I didn’t handle things well with you, Mom.” As per usual.

“Me, either, baby. Me, either.”

Was that a tear trickling from Mom’s eye? Paisley reached over and gently wiped it away. “I should have been here for you.” If not living nearby, at least visiting regularly. Keeping in closer touch. “I’ll do better in the future.”

“Because of religion?”

“Partly because God wants me to live a life of love and trust, yes. But not just that. I failed you.”

“I failed you first.”

Paisley huffed a laugh that nearly brought tears. “It’s not a competition.” Though her mother was right. “I want to show you how God loves you — loves me — whether or not we deserve love. Because we don’t deserve it, ever. No matter how good we are, we’re never good enough.” Wasn’t that the story of Paisley’s life? God’s grace had rescued her years ago, but she’d slipped back into old habits of feeling worthless. “We could never be good enough for God’s love. No matter how hard we try, we just fail, over and over. The thing is, God created us, and He loves us regardless. He wants a relationship with us. But because He’s holy, He can’t look at us, can’t get close to us, because of our sin.”

Mom sniffled and picked at the frayed edge of the blanket, but she was listening, right?

“That’s where Jesus comes into the story. He was — is — God, and He’d never done anything wrong. He came to earth as a tiny baby, grew up, showed God’s love to everyone around Him, then took the punishment for our sin by dying for us.”

“I’ve heard that before. Christmas and Easter.”

“Yes. Jesus rose again from the dead after just three days. I know it sounds preposterous, but there’s plenty of historical proof of what He did. Because He loves us. Now we can have that relationship with God that He always wanted. That our souls crave, deep inside.”

“And now you’re perfect.”

Paisley scoffed. “Don’t I wish it were that easy! It’s not like that, but I can keep being sorry and turning back to Him when I mess up, which is, like, every day.”

Mom sighed. “It sounds like a lot of work.”

“It’s not work. It’s… awareness, maybe? I just know how much peace I have within me when I’m leaning into my faith and remaining aware of God’s gift of salvation through Jesus. It’s not a magic wand, but it’s worth every minute.”

How had she become so caught up in day-to-day existence that she’d forgotten to live like this every single day? It sounded so simple when she told it to her mother. It was simple. It just wasn’t easy.

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