Page 71 of A Marriage Pact for the Cowboy

Eryn hurried over and yanked the teabag out of one of them. How anyone could drink it as potent as Paisley could was beyond her. She scooped in a little honey and gave it a stir as she sat down.

“Talk to me,” Paisley ordered. “Why don’t you think you’re worthwhile? Because that’s not what Jesus says.”

“I know. It’s just… can you keep this confidential?”

“Of course. I’m almost offended you would think you needed to ask.”

“I had a twin sister, Amelia. She…” Eryn gathered a breath. “She hated me and made my life miserable since we were babies. She was careful that our parents didn’t notice, but I’m sure they knew we weren’t best friends or anything like that.”

Paisley bit her lip but gestured for Eryn to keep going.

“She died in a car crash a couple of years ago now. You’d think I’d feel free, but I’ve felt so much guilt being the one left behind. Everyone liked her. Me? Not so much.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how that all made you feel.”

“Everyone assumes we were a tight unit because we were twins. But we were never close, even though I wanted it. She always pushed me away. Belittled me. I could never do anything right.”

“And that stuck with you and became how you saw yourself.”

Eryn stared into her mug. It was hard to deny.

“You know that’s not how God sees you, right?”

“I know,” Eryn whispered. “It just seems His voice isn’t as loud in my head as Amelia’s.” And she knew why. “Actually… is there a place I can have a bonfire?”

Paisley blinked. “Pardon me? I missed a transition somewhere.”

“I know why her voice is louder, and I have some things I need to burn.”

“I’m still not following.”

“Her journals.” Shame flushed Eryn’s cheeks. “I found them just before we moved here, and I’ve been reading them. I know I shouldn’t. First, because they were hers and therefore private. But also, because she kept recording what a loser I am.” She wasn’t about to mention Amelia’s obsession with Maxwell. That wasn’t really the point. Not anymore.

“If they have paper or cardboard covers, we can burn them in the fireplace here.”

“They do.”

“I’ll come with you to get them. Let’s go right now.”

Eryn quaked. What if she wanted to read a few more entries? Maybe she should have sampled a diary from a few years later than junior high.

“Eryn?”

“Okay. Let’s do it.” She’d still need to figure out what was up with Maxwell, but quieting Amelia’s voice would be helpful to her mental health, at least. Even if it didn’t change anything else.

Chapter

Twenty-Three

You’re a fool, boss. Fire me if you have to.”

Maxwell set down his tools, tipped his goggles up, and stared at Janessa. “Pardon me?”

“I don’t know why you’re avoiding Eryn, but she’s miserable.”

His ire sputtered. “I’m not avoiding her.”

Janessa’s head tipped to the side as her eyebrows raised. “Is that how she sees it?”

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