Page 66 of A Marriage Pact for the Cowboy

“I hate this!” The words spurted from her mouth as she clenched her fists dramatically. “He’s such a jerk.”

“Janessa, you need to calm down.”

“Is that really all you’ve got, boss man? I need to calm down?”

“First things first. Leadership requires levelheadedness. Personal stuff needs to stay out.” A lesson he’d also do well to remember. He hadn’t let thoughts of Eryn affect the decisions on the Ladybug Lane project, but he’d definitely been distracted and taken more time away than usual.

He was paying for that right now.

“Tell you what, Janessa. Head into Cottage Five and take an inventory of the paint supplies. How close are we to shifting operations over there?”

“You just don’t want me to yell at him some more.”

Maxwell stared into her eyes. “Exactly.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. The guy’s a jerk. He?—”

“Janessa. I’ll deal with things here.”

“Steve’s gonna fight you on it. He?—”

“I’ve got it.”

She heaved a sigh. “Fine.” She flounced down the lane and marched into the fifth cottage.

Maxwell tossed a prayer heavenward. It was time for Steve.

Eryn hadn’t seen Maxwell again all day, except for the glimpse she’d had of him at breakfast. She hadn’t been ready to talk to him then, and she wasn’t ready to talk to him now, but shouldn’t he at least be trying to communicate?

Yeah, she’d messed up her own head by welcoming Amelia into it, but Maxwell didn’t know that. The question was burning a hole in her mind, though. Would he actually have followed through with his childhood promise if her sister were still alive?

Guaranteed Amelia would have made a push for it. Maxwell had to be the reason Amelia hadn’t ever had a serious boyfriend.

Eryn had spent her entire life in her twin’s shadow. Amelia’s death should have freed her, but it hadn’t. The journals were only part of the problem. Dad didn’t know she was reading them, but he still managed to throw Amelia in Eryn’s face in front of Maxwell.

The problem was her. She’d been born the smaller twin, the one with a heart defect that required constant monitoring throughout their preschool years. She couldn’t help the extra diligence she’d been paid by their parents. Amelia had acted up then to get attention, and she’d never stopped.

But it was on Eryn that she’d allowed Amelia to continue to dominate and bully her for another two decades. Amelia was still controlling her from beyond the grave.

Eryn needed to stop reading the journals, or maybe even get rid of them, but that seemed extreme. Her sister’s handwritten log was fascinating… when it wasn’t full of spite for Eryn or longing for Maxwell. Then it made Eryn fuming angry, but she couldn’t seem to turn away.

If her own twin sister couldn’t love her, how could anyone else? Everyone had preferred Amelia. Maxwell had.

The flaw was in Eryn, but what could she do about it now? She wasn’t assertive. She wasn’t suddenly going to grow a backbone and tell people where it was at. That was Amelia’s obnoxious way.

She should never have gone to Paisley about Maxwell’s birthday, because how could she get out of planning the excursion now, unless they broke up? He’d probably be grateful if she called off their relationship. He would himself later, when he got tired of her needy ways.

When he recalled his promise to Amelia.

Eryn stared at the two books on her nightstand. Her Bible and Amelia’s journal. She knew which one she should pick up and read, and it wasn’t the diary.

But that’s what she reached for.

November 27, 2008

There’s nothing to be thankful for without Mom. Groenings invited us over for turkey dinner. Dad says it was nice of them. It wasn’t. I hated everything. I hated being polite. I hated Eryn for making a big deal out of Karen’s pity, clinging to her and bawling like a baby. Karen is not Mom. But Eryn is such a suck-up she doesn’t care. She’s been like that forever, hogging all the attention. Just like when she was a bratty kid pretending to be sick.

Eryn stifled a sob. She remembered that day. Remembered how much comfort she’d felt in Mrs. Groening’s arms. Dad was barely functioning. Amelia had withdrawn into fury like a caged animal. Eryn had soaked up every bit of the neighbor woman’s sympathy. It hadn’t been pity. It had been kindness to a young teenage girl who needed someone to love her.

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