Page 66 of Cowboy Don't Go

“Your affair with Ray, you mean?”

Sarah blinked. “It wasn’t an affair.”

“Not what Dad thought.” She pulled the note she’d found in the bible from her pocket and handed it to Sarah. “Care to explain?”

Sarah rolled her eyes shut and her face contorted with pain. “You’re upset. I can see that. But this was between me and your father and—”

“You forgot Ray. He was somewhere in the middle of all this, too.”

“Everything—life—is more complicated than you’re expecting, Shay. I get that. But it’s not because you’re naive or because Cooper came here hoping to help his father. It’s because we are all just trying to get things right. And your father and I, we never really could.”

“So, you cheated on him? Why didn’t you just divorce him? That would have been more honest.”

Sarah bent her head. “It would have. And I intended to do just that. But then . . . complications. I lost my nerve after Ray went to prison.”

Shay wanted to plug her ears, sing la, la, la! at the thought of her parents blatantly lying to one another for so long. But avoiding the truth was how she’d gotten here in the first place. “He knew, apparently?”

Her mother nodded. “He guessed, though he never confronted me. We just pretended for a very long time. Until he died. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. But I would have told you eventually. And trust that you could forgive me.”

“Forgive you for cheating on my father?”

“No. For wanting to live my life fully. For wanting love in my life.”

Shay felt tears leak out of her eyes.

Sarah crumpled Tom’s note in her hand. “Drop me off at Ray’s apartment. We need to get a few things straightened out.”

“Fine.”

Sarah braced her hand on the dashboard and turned to Shay. “I don’t know why you’re so willing to believe the worst about Cooper but—”

She steered the truck over a rough patch of dirt road, scowling. “Did you hear him defend himself? No. Because it was all true.”

“Did you give him a chance to defend himself? You did not. You just accused him of the most awful things.”

“True things.”

“I think you’re wrong.” Sarah folded her arms angrily against her chest. “Do you know what I think? I think you’re mad because you finally allowed yourself to be open enough to fall in love with someone. And he happens to have a past, too. Which is not a crime. Why is that so impossible to understand?”

“It’s not his past I’m upset about. He was here under false pretenses. And I am not in love with him. Yeah, I’m mad. I’m mad-hurt. Why can’t you understand that? He was just . . . using me to get to all this. How can I trust a man who lies to my face?”

“Did he though? Did it ever occur to you that he might have been trying to protect us from what your father did until he figured out what really happened? That he didn’t want you to know that your dad had done something so despicable as blackmail? Or that I was . . .” She stopped, swallowing back her own tears. “That my life might have been more complicated than you could imagine? Or that the last decade—before he died—had been one big lie for your father and was how our ranch survived on money that didn’t belong to us—without us even knowing?”

No. That hadn’t occurred to her. Was he? Trying to protect her? That sounded convenient. Possible. Heartbreaking. But she felt raw and punched, like someone had hit her in the heart.

Someone. Cooper.

Now what? What was she going to do with him now? Now that they’d made love and said words to each other? How could she even face him again?

She dropped Sarah off at Ray’s apartment and tried not to think of Cooper and what was going on up at the round barn. She didn’t want to think of him at all. Which proved impossible as she pulled into the yard to find Ryan waving to her from the paddock with Kholá. He was riding her bareback, without so much as a set of reins. The horse took note of her, ears pricked forward as she walked toward the pen.

Ryan, always the observer, instantly saw something was wrong. “Are you crying?”

She thought about telling him the truth but pasted a bright smile on her face. “Oh, it’s all the autumn pollen. I’m fine. What are you doing home so early? Did Cami bring you?”

“No. Keegan’s mom gave me a ride. Remember? It was an early day for teacher stuff.”

“Oh, right.” Could the timing be any worse? She petted Kholá over the fence as she walked up to greet her, trying to figure how to keep him away from all of this. “Um. I’m going to go inside and um . . . have some tea. Are you hungry?”

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