Page 26 of Just A Little Chase

His laugh was self-depreciating, because he didn’t always feel like what constituted a decent man. “I think we’ve already established that I’m no white knight.”

“I disagree.” She lifted up and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “You are for Billie, and that’s all that matters.”

They grew quiet as she rested her head on his shoulder, still cuddled up to his side as they sat on the park bench together. He stroked his thumb along the back of the hand still secure in his, appreciating the peaceful moment with Lauren. A light breeze blew, gently ruffling her hair, and the sights and sounds of everything around them came back into focus. The chirping birds, the faint musical jingle of Pete’s ice cream cart, the laughter and happy young voices of the children playing on the nearby swing set and jungle gym.

Everything happening around them seemed so light and carefree, and he let it all sink in, feeling unexpectedly content—something he never would have thought possible after discussing his painful past. He’d anticipated being angrier, more bitter after reliving those traumatic events. But Lauren’s calm and caring acceptance seeped into his bones, soothing those frayed edges of his emotions, and he was so grateful for her compassion.

The vibration of Lauren’s cellphone in her jeans pocket burst their little bubble of tranquility, much to his disappointment. She retrieved the device and swiped it open, reading whatever message had come through.

He felt her stiffen beside him. “Oh, wow,” she murmured.

His first thought went to her gramps, hoping the old man was fine. “Everything okay?”

She straightened from where she’d been snuggled up to his side, and he immediately missed the connection between them. “I… I don’t know,” she said, a frown furrowing her brow. “I just got a text from Ashley. She asked if she could meet me at the inn to talk before she has to get ready for the wedding.”

“What does that mean?” he asked, very aware of the anxious look on her face, and the way she chewed her bottom lip.

She exhaled a deep breath as she sent her sister an “OK” text back. “I have no idea, but I guess I’m going to find out.”

Chapter Eleven

The walk back to the inn was quiet as Lauren tried to anticipate what her sister wanted to discuss with her after so many years of silence and awkward family get-togethers. She had no idea what to expect, but since Ashley had made the attempt to reach out on a day as important as her wedding day, then Lauren knew whatever the conversation, it had to be something very significant.

Or at least she hoped it would be.

But for right now, she kept her focus on Chase, who’d opened up and allowed himself to be vulnerable with her as he shared details of his past, his childhood, and what it meant to him to find Billie. She’d heard the pain in his voice as he spoke, had felt the depth of heartache this proud, normally closed-off man kept so well protected behind a fortress made of steel.

He’d lowered those gates for her, releasing the burden he’d been carrying for years. He let her see the pain that had been the catalyst for keeping everyone but Billie at arm’s length. The fact that he had so much affection for his sister gave Lauren hope that he’d possibly make room in his life for someone else, too.

Whether or not that person was her, she didn’t know. But despite what happened between her and Chase after this weekend, she wanted him to be happy, and to know that he deserved to be loved just as much as anyone else did, despite the dreadful role models he’d had in his life.

Now that they’d reached the inn, they had to part ways for Lauren to meet with her sister, which was the last thing she wanted after their profound moment together at the park. And knowing what time alone could do, possibly make him overthink things and shut her out again, she searched for a way to reassure him that all his secrets were safe with her. And she was humbled by the fact that he’d shared them with her.

Reaching the pathway that led up to the establishment where they were staying, she stopped before they could go inside and turned to face him. His eyes were clear as they met hers, his expression composed but relaxed. There was no trace of the resentment and bitterness he’d displayed earlier while discussing his parents.

She reached for and held both of his hands in hers. “Thank you for sharing everything with me today. You didn’t have to, and I know it was difficult, but I appreciate you trusting me with something so difficult and painful to relive.”

“It felt good to get it out,” he admitted, the smile on his lips making her heart lift optimistically. “It doesn’t change anything that happened, I know, but it made me realize just how long I’ve kept everything bottled up inside.”

That he’d come to that realization on his own was huge, Lauren knew. But she was also aware that time alone, after they parted ways right now, could bring back intrusive thoughts. She had more to say, and instead of waiting until later, she said them now before this intimate moment between them was gone.

“I care about you, Chase,” she said, knowing she was putting her emotions on the line, but she wasn’t one to skirt the truth, even at the risk that he didn’t reciprocate those feelings. “What happened to you… it shouldn’t define the rest of your life, or your chance at happiness. I believe that everyone has choices to make in their lives. That there are crossroads you come to where you can elect to stay on the path you’ve been traveling your entire life and wish things were different, or you can rise above whatever tragedy you’ve endured and completely alter the direction of your future, for the better, and be able to look back on that choice without any regrets.”

He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes searching hers as if he’d find some kind of magical answer for himself there. Then, he canted his head and spoke. “Is that what you did when you found out about your sister and Greg?”

She remembered vividly the two choices she’d been faced with. Let animosity and hatred burn in her heart, or embrace forgiveness, even if that had been extremely difficult to do at the time. She’d chosen the latter, which had enabled her to eventually be happy with her life, even though she’d ended up alone.

“I had to let it go,” she said, wanting him to understand her healing process. “Don’t get me wrong. It was hurtful and painful and it would be so easy to be bitter or spiteful over their deceit, but what good would that do me? If I carried around all that anger, it would never allow me to be happy with someone else.”

He was quiet, a pensive look in his eyes, and Lauren hoped that her words soaked in, that they gave him the strength to make better, more forgiving choices of his own going forward. Selfishly, because she wished they could move forward together, but she also knew that was a lot to expect from a man who’d lived his life so guarded and pessimistic about relationships. She was smart enough to know that one pseudo therapy session wasn’t going to magically transform a mindset that had been conditioned to believe the worst of people for the majority of his life.

“You go ahead and talk to your sister,” he finally said, jutting his chin toward the front door to the inn. “I’m going to take a walk instead of sitting in the room. I’ve got a lot to process.”

“Okay.” She released his hands, hating to let him go when he was so contemplative like this. But she’d done her part, said her piece, and the rest was up to him to apply, or not. “I’ll text you when I’m finished with Ashley.”

He nodded and gave her a warm smile. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

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