Page 31 of Catching the Kot'oll Driver

“Kendra...”

“Carry me to the bed.”

“Okay.” He picks me up with two of his muscular arms, then he feels my forehead with the other. “What happened? Are you sick?”

I don’t want to be naked, but I don’t want to care about that now. Something feels empty inside me. More tears surge in me. I roll around in his arms, snuggling into his chest. “Shut up.”

He lets out a soft sigh, pats my side, and goes down the corridor, probably heading to the bedroom. “I hope you’re fine. You’re scaring me.”

I wrap my arms around him, not knowing what to say. It feels like I got hit in the gut, even though no one hit me. “Shut up.” I don’t to be mean to Grihul, but I can’t make out other words. I wish I knew what’s wrong with me too.

We enter the bedroom. He puts me on the bed. “Here you go.”

I let go of him and end up staring at the ceiling once again. I can melt into the bed and... wish I didn’t exist.

He remains by my side, watching me. “So... Do you want me here? Should I bring you water?”

“Water, yes.”

“Okay.” He turns to the door.

“Wait.”

“Yes?”

“You’ll be back, right?”

“Of course. I’m getting you water.”

“Okay. You have to be back.”

He frowns and stares at me for another moment before he heads out of the room.

I take a breath, trying to calm myself, but my heart is still racing. Now, it feels like I have too much energy and I want to be doing something. Say... pacing around in the room.

But... My body and my mind don’t agree with each other. I’m stuck here with my racing mind that refuses to slow even for a second.

Maybe I should tell Grihul to hold me, but he and I...

Fuck... I must look like a crazy being to him. I’m just wild all the time, doing stupid and confusing things...

It doesn’t take long before Grihul is back with a plastic cup of water. He puts it on the bedside table. “How are you feeling?”

I sit up and take the cup, gulping down the cold water. “I’m so sorry. I’ve been... tough to deal with.”

He sits by my side. “Maybe there’s something in your head. Maybe work is stressful. Did your team catch the robbers?”

I nod. “Yes, we managed.” Is that the reason I’m stressed? Or does that even have to do with work? Or maybe I’m just crazy? “It feels like... I’m scared of something.”

“Like... Me? It feels like you hate me, but at the same time, you’re the one who wanted to—”

I slap my hand over his mouth to stop him from talking. I don’t need a reminder of that. I silently sigh, hoping I wasn’t too forceful with it and ended up like I meant to slap him. “Hush...”

He rolls his eyes and folds his arms, saying nothing this time around.

I put the cup back on the bedside table before I have a chance to spill the water. “I don’t understand myself.”

“Maybe you don’t like bigger beings.” He flexes his arms. “And these arms annoy you.”

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