Page 54 of Catching the Kot'oll Driver

Am I such a failure?

Does quitting mean I’m a failure?

Chapter nineteen

Chapter 19

Grihul

Ifollow Kendra as she swipes her card on the keypad of the door. It opens and she lets out a sigh. Her shoulders are hunched, and she drags her feet.

I clear my throat. “So, you don’t want to be back here? Isn’t this your place?”

“Yeah...” She goes inside and gestures for me to follow.

I say, “It’s okay if you don’t want me to be in your place. I can stay in the spaceship until I can leave.”

“It’s not about that. I don’t mind... I mean, I like it when you’re here with me, but I don’t like that we have to stay inside.”

“But it’s for your safety— I mean... You know they are just trying to make sure everyone’s fine.”

She paces around the living room, going behind the couch and back, then around the kitchen table. “I don’t like that. It feels like the criminals are scaring our asses. We are better than that and...”

I wrap my arms around her. “You are here to protect me.”

No, I’d never let her protect me and it hurts my ego to be saying that. But if that’s what it takes to make sure she’ll stay here, I’ll do that.

This is her apartment and is arranged by the police, so we are still inside the big building complex, which should be safe. She wants to be free and probably hates it when beings tell her what to do. This is such a mismatch for her to be in the police.

My job may be simple and doesn’t even require a brain most of the time, I’m not dumb.

She snuggles in my arms. “Thank you.”

I pat her back. “Just stay put, okay? And about what we talked about after my treatment...”

Her cheeks light up with a light pink, almost as if it’s burning. “Oh... That... Are you asking about us being mates or whether I’ll stay being police?”

“Maybe both?” I hold her cheeks with two hands and stroke her back with the other. “Take as long as you need.”

“I hate to quit the job when danger is lurking. I... Actually, I’ve given that thought. Maybe you have a pretty good idea. But I don’t want to act like I’m quitting because there’s danger out there. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m weak, you know? Not to mention we suspect those attacking did it as a response to us cracking their bank robbery attempt.”

“I understand. Maybe I’m just a bit too worried when your job feels dangerous.”

“But it’s meaningful.”

I pat her back. “That’s for sure.”

She watches me and rests her hand on my cheek. “Are you trying to make me switch jobs?”

I shake my head. “That’s the last thing I want to do. I want you to be happy, not to do things because of me. You hate it when others tell you what to do.”

She snorts a laugh. “I guess we’re getting to know each other well.”

I hold her tightly into my arms again. “I think so. If you’ll let me. I’ll take good care of you.” I really want to. I want to keep holding her.

She was so swift and smart when she fought those beings attacking us, while I wasted seconds standing there like a dummy. I know that she’s trained so it’s different, but still... I’m the male and I should protect her. At least she isn’t injured, so I think I’ve done my job right.

I say, “I wish we beat them easier. It would feel like a bigger win.”

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