Page 34 of Before the Fall

He smiles, and I swear even with a bruised face and swollen eye, he looks like an angel when he answers, “I’ll do what I have to so the woman I love is safe and we can have a life together. If killing Victor is that thing I have to do, then so be it. He brought this upon himself.”

I know he’s trying to make me feel better, but the way he talks about ending another person’s life—his uncle’s life—upsets me. I don’t say anything, though, because he would probably think I’m being foolish. Someone tried to kill me and instead slit that poor woman’s throat. Then they tried to kill us when I got shot. And they didn’t give up, trying to run us off the road to try to kill us that way.

Maybe I am being silly. Why should I care about a person who wants me dead?

Jaxon touches my shoulder, tearing me out of my thoughts. “You got quiet there. Everything okay?”

I nod and try to smile, but it’s a half-hearted attempt. “Yeah. Just tired, I guess.”

Never a good liar, that’s probably my worst effort yet. I don’t want to talk about anyone else dying today. I’m just happy to be alive and have the man I adore here by my side again.

He slides his fingertip under my chin and gently turns my head so I have to face him. Still trying to hide how uncomfortable I am with him killing anyone, I push the corners of my mouth up toward my cheeks in what I hope is a believable smile.

“Talk to me, Tia. Tell me what’s on your mind. I know you didn’t get quiet because you’re tired.”

I push against his leg and roll my eyes. “I got shot, you know. It takes a lot out of you.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says in a low voice tinged with pain, like he can’t handle hearing me talk about that topic.

“It’s okay. The doctor Ryker had look at me said it went clear through, so it could have been much worse.”

Pushing himself up against the pillows, he meets my gaze as he tries to smile. “I hate that my world has touched you like that. I know what it’s like to be shot. I’ve had to dig bullets out of my body, and that’s nothing I would ever wish on my worst enemy.” He stops and chuckles. “Well, maybe on one or two of them. But the thought of you getting shot takes my breath away. It’s every nightmare I’ve had come true.”

“It’s okay, Jaxon. I mean, I don’t like getting shot, but I don’t blame you.”

He hangs his head and quietly says, “You should.”

I hate seeing him like this. Jaxon is many things, and maybe most people wouldn’t say a good man is one of them, but I see the goodness in him.

But I’ve always feared something like this happening because I know what’s going on in his mind. He thinks he’s to blame, but is he questioning if we should even be together because of all that’s happened?

We sit in silence for a long time, but I have to ask the question that fills my head. “Jaxon, do you regret ever being with me?”

He stares in horror at me for a few seconds as I anxiously await his answer. When he doesn’t respond, I say, “I just want the truth. Honesty can’t hurt us.”

“Do you really think I could ever regret meeting you? Yes, I’m not thrilled with how it happened, but you’ve been in my system from the moment we met. When you left that house that day, I felt like someone had taken a part of me, like there was an empty space in the middle of my chest that made it hard to breathe, hard to even exist.”

“But you broke up with me, and I know it was because you worried I might get hurt because of what you do for your family. If your uncle didn’t want my father or me dead, would you have come back?”

I’m afraid I already know the answer.

Hurt fills his dark eyes as he says, “I missed you every day you weren’t in my life. You have no idea how miserable I was without you, Tia.”

“But would you have come back to me if I wasn’t in danger?”

Jaxon hangs his head again, avoiding my gaze as he answers, “No. I would have stayed away so you were safe.”

Even though I know he means well saying that, the truth hurts more than I expected. I turn away, not wanting him to see me cry. It’s stupid, but I can’t handle what he said.

“I need some fresh air,” I say through gritted teeth as I struggle not to start bawling.

Jaxon tries to stop me, but I slip out of his hold and run out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I have no idea where I am in this enormous house. It’s not like I received the grand tour when I first arrived unconscious.

Stairs at the end of the hallway lead downstairs, so I hurry to them and rush down to the first floor. I just want to find a door to go outside and get that air I said I needed.

Kaia walks out of a room and sees me, and I sense she understands I need to get out right now. “Are you okay, Tia? Do you need anything?”

“I want to go outside. Can I do that?” I ask as I look around for any way to get out of this house.

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