Page 12 of Savage Heart

“Mmmm-hmmm,” I answer, unable to say those words back to him.

It’s not that I don’t care for Trent. I do. He’s been one of the best parts of my senior year here at Yale. He treats me great, and when he does things like today where he surprises me with something sweet and thoughtful he’s planned out, I really think I could love him.

But then the one truth that never goes away crashes into all those warm feelings I have for Trent and ruins everything. I’m in love with Alaric. I have been for two years, despite the fact that he never came around all that time. Last night proved to me that love never faded. If anything, it grew stronger.

So like I have since the first time Trent told me he loved me a few months ago, I smile and hum like the thought of his love pleases me. It doesn’t displease me. It simply can’t overcome my feelings for Alaric.

As I shower and get ready to meet Trent at the train station, I chastise myself for being stupid. What is that saying Natasha is always repeating? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? It’s always sounded borderline perverted, but the way she explains things it means what you have is worth far more than what you wish you could have. That’s how I should feel toward Trent. He’s the bird in my hand, and Alaric is the possibility of two in some hedge somewhere.

I should value what I have instead of always wishing for something I know is a longshot. Still, even the mere thought of Alaric makes me question if I will ever be able to love anyone else.

Wrapping my wet hair in a towel, I close my eyes and think to myself how stupid I am. I’ve got a wonderful guy in Trent, and what do I do? I sleep with a man who kidnapped me. Yes, he’s the reason I got away from my family, but the man ignored me for two years after that!

Christ, I need to get some perspective. So Alaric and I have incredible sex. That does not make a love match. So I feel special whenever I think of him. That and a couple bucks will get me a cup of coffee.

Trent is the man I should be focusing my attention on, not some ghost who shows up to haunt me every couple years.

Resolved to cherish what I have instead of hoping to have something that may never happen, I study my face in the mirror as I let my damp hair tumble out from under the towel. The reddish tint Ashley put in my hair is fading already, and it’s only been three weeks. Time for a touch-up.

I better wear something really special since we’re likely going into the city. As I head toward my bedroom, I weigh the choice of going with my navy-blue tank dress or my yellow sundress with the little blue flowers across the hem. Today feels like a yellow dress kind of day.

A half hour later, I take one last look in the full-length mirror on the back of my bedroom door and like what I see. I’m a little less tan than I’d like for the yellow dress, but other than that, I look ready for my big surprise.

On my way to the door, my phone rings. Fishing it out of my little purse that matches the color of those royal blue flowers on my dress, I see it’s Trent. “Hey, I’m on my way. No need to worry that I fell back asleep,” I joke.

“Just wanted to check. You didn’t sound entirely with it before.”

I laugh as I lock my front door and make my way toward the elevator. “And here I thought you trusted me. Do you know I think this is the first time you ever called to check that I’m on my way? This surprise must really be special.”

“Oh, it is. See you in a few.”

Now this is what a good boyfriend does for the woman he loves. He plans surprises to celebrate her big days. He checks up on her to make sure she’s okay. He doesn’t disappear for two years and then suddenly come around one night.

When I step out into the sunlight, I run my hand over my new cross and necklace. Alaric did keep my old one all this time. That was thoughtful and shows he thought about me while we’ve been apart.

And yet, I woke up alone in bed this morning. The choice is clear. I don’t know why I’m making it more difficult than it needs to be.

I look up toward the perfect blue sky and smile. It’s a gorgeous day for a surprise trip into the city. I really hope Trent got us tickets to that new show everyone’s been talking about. Then again, it is such a beautiful day that a few hours in Central Park would be wonderful too.

He’s standing near a doorway into the station, and I wave as I make my way toward him. This is how normal people behave when they care about each other. I have to remember that and forget any ridiculous romantic notions I have about Alaric because that’s all they are. Silly ideas I should have grown out of already.

“Ready to tell me what this surprise is yet?” I ask with a smile when I reach Trent.

There’s a wickedness in his expression that seems misplaced when he shakes his head and answers, “Just a few steps more.”

That’s odd. Is part of my surprise in the train station?

I walk through the doorway inside and feel Trent’s hands on my shoulders. Glancing back, I notice him looking over my head, and when I turn around to see what he’s focused on, something heavy hits me in the back of my skull. Before I can cry out, everything goes black.

Everything hurts. The back of my head throbs like a heartbeat back there. My shoulders feel like someone’s spent hours squeezing them, and my legs feel like they’re made of lead.

What happened to me? Did I pass out or have some kind of attack in the train station?

I slowly open my eyes to see I’m somewhere dark. A quick scan of the room shows me there are no windows here. Is this a room at the station? That would make sense because they wouldn’t leave a woman who’s passed out just sprawled out on the floor in front of other riders. If I’m somewhere in the train station, they have the heat cranked to somewhere close to ninety because it’s unbelievably hot in here.

My mouth tastes like old cotton mixed with dirt. Did I have my mouth open when I fell? Where is Trent? Shouldn’t he be here with me to make sure I’m not alone when I wake up?

I move to straighten myself and sit up, and that’s when I feel something pulling on my arms. Barely cognizant of my surroundings, I instantly know this sensation. I’ve felt it before.

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