Page 79 of Wolf.e

“You didn’t kill him after? Your father?”

I smirk with the knowledge that she knows me already. “I tried,” I admit. I really fucking tried. “The thought of killing him is what got me through sixteen months of duty. Any second of free thought I had was spent plotting how I would kill him for her death.”

“But you didn’t.”

“When I got home, my uncle was really sick—his illness was rare and came out of nowhere.”

I set my jaw. Talking about this usually brings up the kind of anger I find hard to control. I let out a breath, instead of flexing my fists like I’d normally do, I run my calloused thumb over her soft cheek, down over her shoulder, back and forth up and down her arm as I talk. It settles me a little.

“He asked me not to kill him. Told me it was his final wish. He wanted me to keep the peace and said if I killed him, I was no better than he was.”

“Your uncle was better to you than your father?” she asks softly.

“Yes, in a hundred different ways. He taught me to think clearly, be patient, be centered,” I say honestly. “He said to kill my father would be the easy way out. He wanted my father to suffer until his last breath. And he did…”

“How?” she asks, turning her pretty face up to mine. I can’t resist kissing her, I’m totally fucking obsessed with this woman.

“Before my uncle died, he pushed his nomination forward to have me take over his chair. I thought my cousin would be angry he wasn’t chosen, but he was pretty fucked up during that time. He was in his experimenting era. He’s settled down a lot since then.”

“Was it a condition of you taking over to keep your father alive?” she asks, her warm body shifting against me already has my cock stirring.

“No, it was a request. You don’t fight the request of a dying man. You respect it.”

Brinley doesn’t speak as I continue to stroke her hair and skin.

“A year after I got back, he’d missed two meetings. I decided I better see if he was alive. So, I went to his house. He’d been dead about eight days, give or take, when I got there, the coroner said. Went on a bender, they assumed, and choked on his own vomit. They had to cut out part of the floor where he’d started decomposing. He was alone. Not one fucking person in the world cared to check on him.”

“Sorry you had to see him—" she says. I pinch her and she yelps.

“Don’t waste the word sorry and him in the same breath. Shamus Wolfe was let off the hook too easy, as far as I’m concerned. My mother, she was incredible. She always kept her hope and positivity in any situation. She never complained and she did everything to shield me from him. It wasn’t possible but she did her best. There was always a spark of life in her eyes, like she was always waiting for something great to appear around the next corner. My mother dying for no fucking reason is how I know there is no higher power watching over us. If there was, she would be the first person saved. People live and people die. It’s all by chance. So I live how I want every fucking day, with the possibility of knowing death is always at my door.”

“That’s a realistic and pessimistic way to look at things,” she says in a tired voice. “You don’t believe in destiny at all either? Right place, right time?”

“No,” I answer, almost still sure.

“I do,” Brinley says, and I almost feel a bit of envy at how sure she is.

“Maybe your mother watched over you in the Middle East while you were gone. Maybe you were meant to run this club. Meant to do better than your father did. You already are.”

“Or nothing is meant to be and I just make better choices.”

Brinley yawns and snuggles in closer to me. “Possibly. It’s like you don’t want to let yourself feel, but I’ve watched you with your club. You do feel.”

“Argh,” I grunt, she’s pressing out into the unchartered water of the things I don’t discuss with people. “I don’t have the liberty of being able to feel, doing what I do. Anyone I care about has death knocking at their door too.”

“We all have angels watching over us, even you. Maybe you’ve just been riding faster than yours can fly. Maybe it’s time to slow down a little.” I feel her smirk against me. “Let them catch up.”

My chest cracks wide open and I almost feel my heavy heart start to beat as I remember my mother’s words… Find yourself an angel to be your queen, a safe haven.

I kiss her forehead, knowing I’m holding the closest thing to an angel in my arms right now.

My thoughts overwhelm me briefly.

Fucking Christ, it’s like I don’t even know myself anymore.

“All right, enough of that,” I grumble. “I want the taste of your cunt on my tongue. Spread these thighs, now.”

I flip her over and pull my shirt from her body as she gasps, and I show her until the sun starts to wake just how much I feel for her, with my cock buried as deep inside her.

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