Page 110 of Holding The Reins

I stop dead in my tracks and drop my hand from his.

He follows suit, spinning around to face me as I finally get through to him.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper. “How did you know where I was? Were you following me?”

“Yes,” he says it confidently, moving toward me in the rain and gripping both of my shoulders. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe and I knew he was up to something.”

“Nash, I don’t want you to give me what you can’t. I don’t want to ask you to be someone you’re not, because you’re fucking great the way you are. It’s okay that we were just a phase. You didn’t have to follow me across the country. With time, I think we can be—”

“Just stop talking, Rae.” He grips my face with both of his large palms and tilts my head just enough to meet my lips with his in one soft, searing kiss.

“We’re not a phase. We’re the exact opposite of a phase. We’re always. I fucking love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in this life and I came here to make sure you knew it. Following you across the country is nothing. I’m going to follow you everywhere you go for the rest of this life. And then, I’m going to follow you into the next.”

Nash’s lips come back down on mine in the middle of 6th Ave, and my heart beats rapidly in my chest as I kiss him back with all the passion I feel for him, knowing how hard that would be for him, knowing what he’s doing. He’s letting go. Trusting me. Trusting us.

“I love you so much,” I whisper as he pulls his lips back from mine. It feels so good to say it.

“I’m so fucking sorry, CeCe. I should’ve spoken up when Wade walked in on us. I should’ve been what you needed and I wasn’t. I’ll spend every second of every day making that up to you, if you’ll let me.”

“I’m sorry, too. I knew what you could offer me, Nash, and I want you with all my heart. We’ll take everything else one step at a time.”

Nash shakes his head, his lips braise mine, the taste of him and the rain sends heat to my core as he smiles into my lips.

“I don’t need any time, little firefly. I want it all. I want the birthdays, the babies, the holidays, the lazy Sunday mornings making pancakes for our kids. I want to be their hockey coach, fish with them in the creek, and I want to complain when you ask me to clean out the garage and fix the leaky faucet. I want to sit on the porch with you and drink coffee every fucking morning. CeCe, I want a life with you. One I’m fucking terrified to lose.”

Tears spring to my eyes as I reach my hand up to his stubble covered jaw.

“Get me out of this rain, Mr. Carter,” I whisper into his lips as he grins.

“I love you, my little firefly, my little ray of sun.” His thumb traces my cheek as I kiss him, picturing all the beautiful things he just filled my head with as tears roll down my cheeks.

CeCe is with me and that’s all that matters. I turn to look over at her beside me in the back of the cab just to make sure she’s real and she’s really here. CeCe didn’t get angry that I stalked her across the country to Seattle—she seemed grateful, she didn’t second guess my apology, she just kissed me back and let me in like I’ve always belonged in her arms and it made me fall even more in love with her. She’s perfect, she’s the sunlight in the corners of my dark and otherwise doomed soul.

She’s my little firefly, my Rae and I’ll never stop proving to her that I mean the words I spoke. Never.

We made it back to her condo in record time, packed up the last of her personal items and got the fuck out of there. CeCe didn’t even look back as she dropped the key on the counter and let the door click behind her.

Her eyes meet mine in the dark of the cab now and the need to touch her takes over my body, it’s primal. I slide a hand between her thighs, over her silky tights and find the heat already waiting for me at the apex. Fuck, it’s only been three days but I missed her so fucking much, it hurts. Her hand covers mine as my fingers squeeze the fleshy goodness of her thighs.

I look out the window, gathering my bearings about where we are and how far across the city we still have to go. The cab driver in the front seat is wearing AirPods and I can hear his podcast through them from here. I use my thumb to find the sweet little berry between her legs, I press lightly and she pants out a weathered breath in the dark. I circle her clit as her breath increases with my every touch.

“You’re gonna have to be quiet, baby,” I whisper to her, and she nods.

CeCe leans her head back on the seat and I slide my hand into her tights, shielding her with her tote bag so there’s no chance the driver or a passerby sees what’s mine. All the blood in my body rushes to my cock as I slide a finger over her center. I use her arousal to circle her clit.

I can’t wait to put my mouth on her. So soon… fifteen minutes until we get to the hotel. Fifteen minutes to paradise.

“I still haven’t completely forgiven you,” she whispers with a grin, but she isn’t protesting.

“That’s okay, baby, I just want to make you come. You can forgive me later.”

I feel CeCe squeeze her thighs together around my hand and grind into my palm that presses against her pussy. Her breathing is shallow and uneven but she stays as quiet as a mouse in the backseat of the cab as I fuck my middle finger in and out of her without even moving, only using the muscles of my forearm. I continue fucking into her, adding another finger to her tight, wet heat as Seattle rain pelts against the windows. I whisper into her ear how pretty she looks when she comes and what a good girl she is for staying quiet.

She props an elbow in the window and places a long, graceful finger between her lips and bites down as I feel her pussy clench around my fingers. My cock pulses against my zipper as I feel her legs quiver with her orgasm, her head falls back against the seat and the tiniest little squeaking noise leaves her lips, once, then twice as she falls apart over my digits.

“Nash…” she whispers.

My eyes meet the cab driver’s in the front seat. He’s oblivious as he pushes out the last five minutes of our drive. I pull my fingers out of her tights and suck them clean, then kiss her while I wait not so patiently to pull up to our hotel so I can ravage her.

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