Page 44 of Holding The Reins

“Ugh… you’re right, I have a woman on my mind that won’t vacate no matter how hard I try. It’s really fucking annoying.” I chuckle.

Shelby laughs and pops a bite of pasta into her mouth. “Those are the worst kind.”

“I thought maybe if I came out with you and had a good time, I would prove to myself it was nothing and we’d make a connection. But turns out, I’m not really being honest with myself, or you. I’m sorry. You are great.”

“Nash, how long have we known each other?” Shelby asks as she sips her wine.

“A long time,” I say. “Since middle school?”

She nods. “Exactly. Don’t sweat it. I’m just happy to do something different other than watch the Food Network and grade papers. A friendly dinner is fun so it’s all good.”

“So the woman you can’t get out of your head, that was her?” Shelby asks now as we’re closing the distance between the restaurant and her house.

I turn and face her; the only sound is the wipers going on my truck windshield. “Yes.”

“I don’t understand, CeCe Ashby was always a nice girl, last I’d heard she wasn’t married, so what’s the problem?”

Of course, she knows who CeCe is.

“It’s complicated in so many ways. She works for me. I’m like part of her family, her brothers and I are close, and she’s a lot younger than me. I’m pretty sure the boys would rightly kick my ass for even thinking like this.”

Shelby giggles and is clearly thinking for a moment as I pull into her driveway.

“You only have so many trips around the sun, Nash, you never know when your opportunity to do something will disappear. Take that from me. By the way she was looking at you, I’d say these feelings aren’t one-sided.”

Unbuckling her seatbelt, she smiles again. “I had a nice time though, regardless. I guess I’ll see ya around, hun. Thanks for dinner.” She winks, exiting my truck as I say goodnight.

Nash from five years ago would be cuffing himself up the side of the head right now for letting a nice, pretty woman like Shelby walk away, but Nash from right now can think of one thing and one thing only.

Istep out of the longest, hottest shower of my life contemplating the fury in Nash’s eyes as he gripped Andrew. That and the look on his date’s face when he left her at the restaurant door. I’m glad we never ended up kissing that night in the kitchen right after I got home from Seattle. I wonder what it would be like, multiple times a day, to kiss Nash. I’ve even had moments over the last month where I thought maybe he felt something for me, but seeing him out with Shelby tells me I was way off base.

My love life is complex enough at the moment. No matter how good he looks, no matter how good he is, and no matter how much peace I feel the moment I hear his voice in any room, Nash is off limits. It would be just my luck that the man I’m fantasizing about is the man I shouldn’t want and the man I can’t have.

Incessant pounding on my cabin door is ringing through the space before I even get myself fully dried off.

“Baby, I know you’re in there. Let me in.”

I wrap my robe around me so I’m decent and pad out into the living room and turn the porch light on. I swing the door open to find my mother in her cheetah pajamas, just fuming.

“That little prick thinks he can come into this town and disrespect my family?”

“Mama—”

“Why didn’t you tell me he was here? Why did you go see him, CeCe Rae? He is never going to be what you need.”

“Mama!” I yell this time to get her attention. “I know.”

That calms her down a little as Wade comes through the door behind her.

“What in Sam Hill is going on in here?” His gruff voice echoes through my small space. “I could hear you yelling at CeCe from Legend,” he says to my mother.

I throw my hands up. “Can’t a girl just get a shower and go to bed?” I ask. It’s only eight-thirty but I’ve just had enough.

“Andrew is here and he called CeCe a C-U-Next-Tuesday at Spicer’s,” Mama tells him.

“How do you know that already?” I ask in horror.

“Bertie called me.” She mentions Spicer’s night manager and I realize my bribe wasn’t enough to stop the gossip.

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