Page 56 of Scourged

But without her insistence, without her pushing, without her defiance, they might not have learned what they did. Maybe Rylla and Kiira would’ve found the priestess without Ciana leading them all out that day into the city, but … maybe not.

Sebastian knew—gods, did he know—that Ciana cared so deeply and so brightly for those she loved. He’d asked her to stay at the palace forhim, for his peace of mind. He was still mad, but he was realizing that what he’d asked of her was something she never would’ve obeyed. Not forever.

Her amber gaze landed on him. She twisted her hands nervously in front of her before giving him a hesitant smile.

He returned it—perhaps a touch more enthusiastically. Ciana unclasped her hands and turned to walk to him. Rylla peeled away from her side, heading to join the preparing Armature.

Rylla, who was in her black panther form, her sleek black coat shimmering in the morning sunlight. They’d decided that while Kiira would remain behind with Ciana and Delaynie, Rylla would join the Armature. As strange as it was to be confronted with the existence of shifters in their world, Sebastian couldn’t deny that her particular skills would prove invaluable for this type of mission. The horses knickered at her, ears pricking as they pawed at the ground, but they relaxed as she slowly wound her way between them.

“It’s quite strange, isn’t it?”

Ciana stood a few paces in front of him, blinking in the sunlight. Her amber eyes were wide as they tracked Rylla’s movement between the horses, and her cheeks flushed a delicate shade of pink, freckles stark against her skin.

He swallowed. “Strange?”

Ciana nodded at Rylla. “I mean, we know she’s human. We’ve spoken to her and we’ve seen her shift. But seeing her like that…” She sighed. “I don’t know. It just reminds me of how little we really know about the world. How much has been kept from us.”

Sebastian watched her before slowly nodding. “I agree. It makes me wonder what else might be out there.”

She hummed in response but said nothing further. He cleared his throat, shifting slightly.

“I’ve … been meaning to apologize.”

Her attention snapped to him. “You? Apologize?” She scoffed. “I never thought I’d see the day.” Her eyes carried a guarded look, but she still lifted an eyebrow. A cautious, playful gesture.

He exhaled. “I know. It’s been … It’s been a difficult few weeks.” He ran a hand through his hair, glancing at the ground. “And I’m sorry. For the things I said to you. And the way I treated you. I wanted you safe, but I know why you had to get out.”

Ciana took a step forward, now only a foot from him. He met her bright eyes, the way a golden curl blew across her face.

He was struck by a sudden urge to reach out and tuck the errant strand behind her ear.

“I’m still pissed at you for not listening to me,” she said before he could move. “But I understand your reasons. And I appreciate you saying sorry.”

He chuckled. “I’m still pissed at you, too.”

Just as he said it, the sparkle in her eyes snuffed out.

Fuck.What was it about her? It was like she made him forget himself. Forget how to say the right things, forget how to do what was best. Forget how to be perfect.

She made him feel … human.

“Wait, that’s not what I meant.” He reached desperately for the right words. “I only meant—I’m still mad that you didn’t listen to me and went into the city. But I’m far more thankful to you that you did.” He took a step forward, reaching for her hand.Her skin was smooth and soft as he clutched it in his, her gaze rising again to meet his.

“If you continued to listen to my stupid rules, then we wouldn’t know what we know. We wouldn’t be leaving now, about to bring home our queen. When we save Mariah, it will be because ofyou.”

Her fingers twitched against his palm. She sniffed, lifting her chin. “Next time, don’t tell me what I can and can’t do. I spent enough of my life trapped by men. And I know you are nothing like those monsters, but I refuse to spend a single more second feeling like a captive.”

Sebastian felt the blood leave his face, his eyes going wide. The idea that through his commands he had made her feel such things. That it had bothered her enough to evenmakesuch a comparison …

He was struggling with his failures, to be sure, but to be mentioned in the same sentence as the animals who’d once hurt her … he thought he might be sick.

He released her hand, stepping back. “Ciana … I am so, so sorry. I never meant—I never should have?—”

A finger against his lips immobilized him. Amber eyes glimmered in front of him.

“Even at your worst, Sebastian, you could never be anything like them. Ever.” She dropped her hand, a hint of a smile touching her lips. “I might know a way you can make it up to me, though.”

He tilted his head hesitantly. “How?”

---