Page 133 of Threaded

Ksee only regarded her with that same icy expression. “Gladly,” she said. “I will not have my priestess’s faith polluted by whatever sacrilege you intend. I pray Qhohena takes mercy on you.” She turned on her heel and strode out of the courtyard, her head held high, back rigid, golden robes billowing around her.

The next day, Delaynie informed Mariah and her court that Ksee and most of her priestesses and acolytes were seen leaving not just the palace, but Verith, their golden procession stopping traffic in the streets as they’d filed out of the city gates and down Xara’s Road, their destination unknown. The room had fallen silent at the news, faces lifting into hesitating smiles before falling again as the information settled like a heavy blanket of ash and dust. The Winter Solstice was now solely in Mariah’s control, just as she’d thought she wanted.

Mariah wasn’t sure whether she should feel elated at that knowledge … or terrified.

What have I done?

CHAPTER55

The Winter Solstice was in one week, and preparations were well underway.

The throne room was cleaned, the white and gold marble floors sparkling, thelunestairpillars beautiful despite their dullness. This close to the Solstice, theallumereserves were nearly depleted, and those pillars held almost none of the telltale magical glow. Furnishings were being brought in, benches and daybeds and loveseats arranged around the massive space. The winter chill from outdoors filtered through the glass roof, butallumeheat lamps placed around the throne room chased away the cold.

At least there was no fear of rain or snow blocking the views of the moons. It was always,alwaysclear on the night of a Solstice.

Mariah had all but thrown herself into the preparations. She kept herself busy, both by coordinating her plans with her court and by physically helping with the cleaning and set up. The busyness, the constant movement, was the only way she knew to keep herself distracted, to keep the fear of the problems she’d likely created for herself at bay. She was so exhausted each night that when she fell into bed, her mind instantly shut off, tumbling her body into a deadened sleep.

For a few hours, at least. Until she found herself jerking awake in the early hours of the morning drenched in cold sweat, chased from sleep by dark memories she chose to not remember. The process would then repeat; working herself to the bone just to get her mind to stop screaming its panic at her.

The work and exhaustion it brought also kept her mind off a certain dark-haired asshole who’d done nothing but make her life miserable since she’d arrived in this Goddess-damned palace.

Mariah hadn’t seen Andrian in over a week. The rest of her Armature were constantly with her, either guarding her back or helping her with her duties, and his absence was far too notable.

There would be no surprise if she were to one day wake up to a message informing her that he’d left the city, slipping out of the gates in the dead of night just as the priestesses had.

The Royals had also made themselves scarce, but Mariah wasn’t naïve enough to be thankful for that. She knew it was driven by their disdain for both her and for what she planned for the Solstice, not by any semblance of respect. They’d all moved out of the palace and into their city residences in the mountain district, and while the move was expected, Mariah recognized it as the slight it was.

Things had gotten so bad, she couldn’t even find it in herself to be thankful the palace was free from those who might meddle or intervene with her Solstice.

It was also not lost on her that within the cacophony of distraction, her magic had fallen dormant. It was quiet, barely a whisper in her gut, only stirring in those early morning hours when the beast of her fear wrestled free from its cage of distraction.

The soft knock behind her on the door to her balcony would have startled her if she weren’t expecting it. She didn’t bother setting down her tumbler of whiskey or turning around in her seat, even when she heard the door open and click closed. Soft steps moved across the white tile to the empty chair beside her. Sebastian settled himself into it, following her gaze out towards the view of the sun setting behind the white-capped Attlehon Mountains.

“You asked to see me tonight?” His voice was soft, tentative.

“Yes. Thank you for coming.” In contrast, her voice sounded foreign to her own ears. She’d been directing and ordering and focusing so much recently she’d forgotten what it was to just … speak. Mariah turned away from the sunset to Sebastian, meeting his hazel gaze. His expression was filled with so much concern, the same concern that drew her to him in the beginning, when everything was so new and foreign and she’d craved something solid and stable just to hold herself together.

She was no longer that same girl.

Drawing in a deep breath, she continued.

“I wanted to ask you to be my partner—my consort—for the Solstice.”

Sebastian’s eyes widened in shock, his mouth parting.

“I—Mariah, I’m honored, of course. But … are you sure? There isn’t … someoneelseyou want to ask?”

Mariah blinked at him, slowly. “Yes. I’m sure.” Her voice was still quiet, but steady. She turned her head to look back out at the sunset over the mountains.

“I know we’ve drifted apart over the last few weeks. I know that some things have caused … tension between us. But it was no mistake that I chose you to bond with first. From that very first day, at the Selection, when even Qhohena’s magic picked you first, you’ve been there for me, without hesitation. Always by my side. Never wavering, no matter how much … how muchIwavered. What happened at our bonding wasn’t a mistake, either. I think a part of me always knew I would need you, later, and that’s why what happened … happened. So, no, there isn’t anyone else I would choose. I want it to be you.”

Sebastian was silent for a moment, her words floating into the air between them and drifting over the edge of the balcony, caught up by the winds and wilds beyond.

“I understand, Mariah. Truly, I do. But … I just have to ask. About Andrian —”

“No. You really don’t.” Mariah’s voice was icy as she interrupted him. She forced herself to draw another deep inhale before continuing. “He made his choice. Multiple times, in fact. And because of that choice, this isn’t something I can—orwill—ask of him. It has to be you.”

Sebastian’s stare turned quizzical at her words. “Ithasto be me? Are you saying …”

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