Page 90 of Shade of Ruin

Then we head back to the Keep of Flames, and we meet with Nevan. Nevan is the only person on his father’s staff that Cole trusts completely. He teaches me to dance with Cole because I’m required to dance at the ball the night before I sneak in to see Calyr. Dancing at a ball. Something that I had never imagined in a thousand years.

That was Hazel’s dream, not mine. And every moment that I stand here under Nevan’s eye is another moment that makes me want to scream. Burn me; cut me. I can handle pain. But dancing? Dancing is the truest form of torture.

Nevan sits at a grand piano in an empty ballroom. Silk sheets hang from the ceiling almost twenty feet above us, gently swaying in the stale air. The air is so still here, a ballroom that seems to have been completely forgotten about as a separate one is being prepared for the dance in two days. Only the three of us are here, the ivory sounds of the piano playing in three-fourth’s time.

I have to admit that the music is beautiful and Nevan is an incredible musician. Haunting and entrancing, it seems to take root inside me, and I have a hard time focusing on the steps. Which may be why I can’t stop stepping on Cole’s feet.

I grit my teeth as my toes land on Cole’s for the umpteenth time this song. His hand pulls me, unflinching, as he spins me in the Virelle. And I step on his toes again.

“That’s it!” I shout and pull away. “I cannot dance. That’s all there is to it.”

Cole chuckles, but Nevan just blinks. “Maeve,” Cole says softly. “You just need to practice. No different from training to fight. You’re trying to do something difficult in a very short time.”

I shake my head. “No. This is stupid. Why do I need to dance at all?”

Cole’s look tells me the same thing that he’s told me many times already.Yes. You must dance. Yes. You must dance well.

“Just break my legs and say that I was clumsy. It’ll be worth it to never stand on a dance floor again.”

“No. Now do it again,” Cole says. I snarl at him, but he ignores me. I clasp his hand and wrap my arm around his shoulder, just like I’m supposed to. This is the way we deal with training elsewhere. He’s stern. I snarl. He’s uncompromising. I eventually do as he says. It works just fine.

But for dancing, I don’t know how many more times I can fail at the simplest thing. I thought that being weak was frustrating, but that was because it was like being a child in a world of adults. This… I feel like there’s no way to improve. Like I’m built wrong. Like a fish trying to fly.

Nevan’s fingers dance along the keys as lightly as Ishoulddance along the polished marble floor. Even the simplest beginning steps are terrible. I’m counting in my head as Cole stares at me, just like he’d stared into the fire the entire trip to Draenyth. He’s doing his absolute best to make no reaction.

Solemn. He acts like this is life or death. It’s just dancing. Why is Cole making it seem like it’s the most important thing I’ve ever done? Just let me step on a few random nobles’ toes, and they’ll stop asking me to dance. Maybe that can be our secret weapon. Ican break all the nobles’ toes and then they won’t be able to fight us.

But when I suggested that, both Cole and Nevan looked at me like that was crazier than setting all the guests on fire. Which, maybe it is in the Keep of Flames…

The song isn’t anything like the traveling musicians that came through Blackgrove. Then again, the sound of a piano is unusual in itself. Maybe that’s the issue. I don’t feel like the music makes sense.

I’m supposed to be counting. The music weaves its way into me, caressing me and making me want to add another half step. One, two, three. One, two, three. But the music doesn’t feel like that. It’s as bad as when Cole was trying to teach me to use daggers. They just didn’t make sense to me.

Like writing with my left hand.

I step on his toes again, and I see the flicker of anger on Cole’s lips before it’s gone. Just the slightest change from that cold, emotionless mask he’d put on.

I pull away and close my eyes. “Just wait a minute.” There’s no sound as I stand there, my eyes closed, and I remember the other times I’ve danced. Even as children, we’d gone to Midsummer festivals in Blackgrove. It was the one festival that I’d always been allowed to go to because it was a celebration of wildness. The music had played, and we’d danced, and it had been fun.

Vesta had taught Hazel and me. It differed from when Aunt Prudence had taught Hazel the court dances. It was free and frantic and fun, and the Virelle is nothing like that. Maybe that’s the problem. Like why daggers were so difficult. They weren’t the spear.

“Cole, I have a strange thought.” He looks at me, not sure if I’m going to have yet another unacceptable outburst or if I have an actual solution to this dancing problem.

I bite my lip for a second before saying, “I know how to dance. It’s just not this kind.”

He frowns. “What kind of dance do you know? Maybe you’re right. Maybe we can show you how to translate that knowledge to this.”

I purse my lips as I try to think about what Vesta had taught us. It was so long ago that she showed us and explained the steps. “I don’t know the name. How about I show you?”

He nods, a look of excitement on his face. “Go for it. It’s always easier to teach someone the sword after they know how to use another weapon as long as I can frame it in the language of the other weapon. I’m sure it’s the same for dancing.”

The movements flash through my mind, steps I’ve done so many times at the Midsummer Festivals, but thinking about the exact steps without music is strange. My body doesn’t seem to know how to move without music to go along with it. I try humming one of the songs they play at all the festivals, but it’s not enough.

When I look at Cole with hopeful eyes, he’s staring at me and shaking his head. Nevan has a similar expression on his face. That’s not going to work. It was a good idea, but..

Then I know what to do. “Can you have Sia come here and put an image in your head from my memory? I’m sure you’d know the dance if you saw someone do it with music.”

He nods. “That’s clever, Maeve. I’ll go get her. We’re running out of time, and the best way to go unnoticed—something we desperately need to do—is to dance well.”

---