Page 82 of Shade of Ruin

Cole is grinning at me, and I stare into those eyes to set the drumbeat pounding inside me. Except, instead of Cole, I think of that day in the pool. When the Shade had touched me. When he’d run those black-tinted nails over my body, and I’d felt so helpless.

The drumbeat roars to life inside me, radiating from the center of my stomach. And shadows flow from me like a river. I steerthem, forcing them toward Cole, and with quick strikes, he slices through them, cutting away the magic as easily as he’d cut through paper. They dissipate as soon as the steel has separated them from me.

I push them around toward his back, like the Nothing had done to me. Curling around while he’s busy with the most obvious ones in front of him. I’m sweating from exertion as he jumps, runs, and flies over them, forcing me to keep pushing more and more shadows from my hands. I do everything I can to keep him from having time to think about the darkness creeping up from behind him.

He's cutting the shadows back and moving even faster than he did on the training grounds, but I’m winning. Those shadows are getting closer and closer to him.

And then… I lose.

He catches fire. Not a little. There aren’t flickering flames like when he’s excited. No, he becomes an inferno, and every bit of darkness disappears, burned away by the orange and red that threatens to set the world aflame.

It’s no wonder we had to fly so far away from Draenyth because I have to shield my eyes from the light, and I’m sure that if we weren’t on the opposite side of a mountain, someone in Draenyth would see him.

My shadows evaporate. Every bit of darkness is burned away in that blinding flash of light and rolling heat that he exudes.

I just stop. What am I supposed to do against that?

Cole’s laughter fills the air, rising even higher than the crackle of flames against the stone as twigs underfoot catch fire and turn to ash. Laughter? The reds and orange dissipate far slower than normal, and his face is the first part of his body that becomes fully visible. He looks so unlike himself.

A wide grin crosses his face, and he lets out full-bellied laughter. There’s a sparkle in those eyes that I’ve never seenbefore. It’s like I’m getting a glimpse of him behind the mask he wears for the world. It’s a glimpse into the possibilities of Cole.

“That’s how the House of Flames won against the House of Shadows,” he says as the flames die down completely, leaving only heat waves radiating around him. “Shadows can’t stand against the light of a powerful immolation. Have you learned how to shadow walk? That’s the only way you can even consider fighting against immolation. Unless you’re wearing armor, of course.”

“Shadow walking?”

Cole nods, and the smile fades a bit. I want to tell him to stop. I don’t need to know about shadow walking or anything else that’s serious. I just want him to smile more. I want him to laugh and forget about anything of importance. For just a little longer, I want him to be himself, with no control or constraint.

But I’d be lying. Plus, it doesn’t matter what I say. Unless he’s training, he never feels like he can let go of that leash over his emotions. Maybe he can’t. The flames that surrounded him would have burned anything around him to ash. They were so bright. So dangerous.

Maybe it’s better that he keeps his emotions leashed. I know how hard it is to keep the shadows from slipping from my fingers even with the Forgotten Ring on. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to know that an ounce of excitement could set the world around me on fire.

“Shadow walking,” he says, interrupting my thoughts, “is when you step into the shadows here and emerge from the shadows somewhere else. It’s how so many members of the House of Shadows escaped our attack.”

How the Shade moves. Stepping into the shadows and emerging elsewhere. That would be incredible on a battlefield, but it’d be helpful any other time as well.

“How do you do that?” If I could do that, then it’d be easy to sneak past the guards outside Calyr’s cave.

Cole’s eyes look past me as if he were remembering something. “I’ve heard it has to do with desiring to be somewhere else and being disgusted by where you are. I don’t remember exactly how it works. There’s something about when you’re nowhere and nothing, you can create shadows anywhere.”

I blink. “Wait. So I have to die?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Not my House. I’m just telling you what I’ve heard.”

Flames flicker around his body as he grins. It’s good to know that he’s not trying very hard to keep his emotions leashed. I let the conversation go, preferring to see that smile than to get information out of him.

I walk toward him, that grin on his face making it hard to keep the throbbing drumbeat inside me under control, and there’s a steady stream of shadows that runs from my fingers to the ground. “You’re handsome when you smile,” I say.

It’s like someone slapped him. “What?” he asks, surprise written all over his face.

“You’re handsome when you smile,” I repeat. “We’re betrothed. Am I not supposed to tell you things like that?”

“No, it’s not that.” He shakes his head. “It’s just… Nevermind.”

He tries to turn away from me, but my hand goes to his cheek. “Don’t do that, Cole. I’ve seen the way you look at me.” As soon as I touch him, I can feel the emotional pain that rips through him. It’s a confusing mess of loathing and hatred and desire and desperation.

He pulls away, the flames around his body disappearing completely, and everything in me wants to grab him, to force him to look at me and explain himself. “Cole,” I say it with more than a little strength in my voice, and when I put my hand on his cheek, I whisper, “Talk to me. You’re doing everythingyou promised during our betrothal. You’re protecting me. You’re helping me to be strong. Let me help you like I promised. Let me carry some of the weight. Let me help you find peace.”

He shakes his head, but he doesn’t pull away this time. When he turns to me, there’s a darkness in those eyes. Secrets that he won’t let me know. I don’t push this time, though. I trust him, and everything inside me says that he’s good. That he’s not here to hurt me.

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