Page 111 of Shade of Ruin

I won’t know if he survives.

I look down at him and run my fingers along his cheek. If I’m going to save Hazel, it has to be now. When everyone’s focused on the Midsummer ceremony and won’t be hunting for people from the House of Shadows because I’m going to have to take off my ring in order to get into Calyr’s cave.

“I’ll see you again, Cole,” I say. “I promise you that after I’m done, I’m going to find my way back into Draenyth. I won’t let you go. I will make you mine, Cole.”

“You need to go now,” Darian says. “Before everyone’s here. There’s almost no time.”

I nod to them and go to the armoire. I grab my traveling clothes, a simple tunic and pants. Everything’s been planned. Cole and I have talked through every step in detail. There are no questions left.

I walk into the bathing room and don the clothes before going back into the bedroom to see Darian pouring a black liquid into Cole’s mouth. Cole doesn’t stir for a few seconds, but then he coughs and sputters.

Black shadows hiss as they leave his open lips, and his breathing looks far better. Darian and Lee weren’t lying. They’re going to take care of him. It’s all going to be fine.

I glance at the spear and sigh. No. I won’t be able to sneak through the Keep with a spear. I’ll look too obvious. The best weapon I’ll be able to carry with me is the little belt knife. It’s not a proper weapon, but it’s also something that the average guard wouldn’t worry about. Just like Rhion didn’t.

I have everything I have to have. I can do this. My entire purpose in leaving Blackgrove is ending, and right at this moment, I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to walk away from Cole, or even Darian and Lee. They’ve been my friends. Better friends than I’ve ever had in my life. They understand me, and even more than Hazel, they don’t care that I’m different. In fact, they like that side of me.

I look at the three of them, and I take a deep breath. I have a responsibility to fix Hazel. Then I can come back. Just like I said.

“I’ll be back soon,” I say. Darian and Lee look up at me, and they nod in unison. They’re worried about their best friend. I’m worried about Cole, too.

Everything inside me wants to stay and help the man that’s shown me what it is to be me. The man who’s taught me how to embrace the Immortal side of me and who’s shown me how to be strong enough to stand on my own two feet in this world that was made of nightmares not that long ago.

More than that, he taught me I wasn’t strange. He showed me that all the things that had forced other people away were strengths and not weaknesses. He showed me how to lovemyself. And I think he showed me to love him as well.

I can’t let him die from breaking his oath, though. If him telling me to leave hurt him, then I’ll follow through with the plan. I’ll leave after I’m done. I have done incredible things nearly every day since I walked out of the house I grew up in. I have fought harpies. I have trained with the strongest Fae warrior. I have learned magic from the most legendary of Fae.

And now I’m about to meet the last dragon in Nyth.

If I can do all of that, then I can find a way back to Cole. There’s no way that a stupid debt is going to keep the two of us apart.

I nod to the twins and walk out the door. The crimson marble of the Keep’s walls, ceiling, and floors doesn’t make me think of fire. It makes me think of the blood that poured from Cole’s arm this morning. What had initially been beautiful and opulent now almost sickens me.

The ring on my finger is a heavy weight. There’s no drumbeat in me. No bottled lightning. I feel worn out already, but I have to press on. That’s what Cole’s oath was, as far as I can tell. I need to follow the plan even if I just want to curl up with him like we laid last night. Our naked bodies pressed together high above the world, supported on a bed of shadows.

I try to keep my senses alert, no different from when I’m hunting, and it’s surprisingly easy to shift into that mindset. I’ve been hunting when tired or when I’ve been worried before. It’s how I’ve coped with things that were out of my control too many times to count. And I found peace then.

My senses strain to hear anything as my feet move as silently as possible on the marble. I travel through the royal wing of the Keep and move toward the throne room that houses the red marble chair that matters so much more than I’d ever have guessed.

Then I hear people. Soft whispers far down the passageway, and I turn off, still going in that direction, but trying to stay far away from anyone. Three days ago, Cole had shown me how to get to Calyr’s cave. He’d walked me down all the paths to get there. He’d shown me maps. He’d madesureI could find my way no matter how many hallways had people in them.

We knew there’d be a crowd. That’s the entire purpose of doing this today. When I have to continue to change direction, I don’t get angry or frustrated. There will be a way, and the morepeople that are here, the less likely that anyone will sniff around when I take off my ring.

In a human castle, there would be flowers and paintings and engravings. There’d be miles of rugs. Anything to make it feel less like a stone prison and more like a carefully decorated home. A display of wealth.

For a people whose barest bit of emotion could burn nearly anything, decorations don’t last long. Plain stone just makes sense in unimportant places like hallways.

I would love to have a rug or two to dampen my already nearly silent footsteps, though. I know from my time traveling with full-blooded Immortals that no matter how quiet I think I am, they can hear me.

When I glance down a branch of hallway and see the clumping of guards around a single door, I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s been several minutes since I’ve heard a person other than these guards. There’s not an ounce of steel on them other than their weapons.

After training with Cole, I understand the reason they don’t wear armor, but it also seems so stupid. They may not be able to use their powers effectively if they’re wearing armor, but the greatest protection against anyone else’s powers is gone as well.

I look down the main hallway and then down the branching one, and I see no one. I listen for a few moments and hear nothing. No one is nearby, though I know that as soon as my ring comes off, someone will notice the scent. Someone will alert everyone. I just hope that I’m far enough along already.

I slip the ring off my finger and put it into the pocket of my pants. The shadows flow from my fingertips as easily as ever, but they aren’t overwhelming today. There’s too much worry and nervousness for desire to take a great hold inside me.

But this is enough. Probably more than enough. I will the shadows to cling to each other and run along the corner of thefloor and the wall on which Calyr’s door is inset. Down, down, down, those shadows run. I can feel the tie between them and me becoming thinner, and when I glance down the hallway, I can tell that the tightly wound strands of darkness are fuzzing as they move closer to the guards.

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