Page 108 of Shade of Ruin

She can hear every move he makes. Her ability to know where his body is at any given time is unmatched, and even the shift of his clothing rattles in her ears, a reminder of his humanity and her immortality. And yet, when he frowns and cocks his head as he’s so prone to doing, she smiles.

It’s not his strength or his skills that changed the former Queen. It’s not his wealth or his body or his ability to protect her. There’s no one in the world that could make her smile because of those things. She is the strongest member of the House of Shadows, a warrior without compare. Only the one who wears the Painted Crown can beat her in battle. Or possibly his son.

She would not have become more by meeting and living with someone strong. But this weak and powerless human has changed her in ways that she could not have predicted; ways that would not be obvious to anyone who hasn’t lived with humans before. Humans have something that no High Fae does.

They understand love. They understand, even without magical bonds, that all living things are connected. Sometimes, being the most powerful isn’t always the most important thing. Sometimes, it’s the weakest person who can change everything. Like Sandor Arden did for her.

“You’ve never done anything stupid before,” he says. “You’re the most brilliant woman I’ve ever met, and that’s why I know that there’s nothing I can say that will convince you to stay. Because you’re probably right. You need to go. For her sake.”

His eyes drift to their daughter. The beautiful little girl that will someday grow up to take her place in Draenyth. A Wyrdling with a hidden bloodline that could save the world when not even the strongest Queen in history could.

The woman looks at the man. Maybe one day they could be together again. For now, she would have to leave to keep the little girl safe. There will be hunters on her trail if she lets her scent stay here too long. She’d be able to fight them, but that would bring danger to her daughter.

If she leaves now, her daughter will be safe, and maybe, if the fates allowed, that beautiful little girl will heal the world in a way that the former Queen could not.

That means that the High Fae will have to leave the child and Sandor. The pain cuts her again, deep and ragged. “I…” she hesitates. This would be the stupidest thing that she has ever done. A permanent weakness. Sandor is human. He will die, and she’ll be left with a wound in her soul that will never heal.

But for those few years, she would know what it was to love a man in a way that no other High Fae ever has. She will know what it is to love her husband. To tie her soul to his. A way to feel him even while they’re separated.

“Sandor,” she whispers, “will you marry me? Will you bind your soul to mine, as my people do?”

He kneels down in front of her, the baby between them, and he says, “I will do anything for you, Brenna. I don’t know what that means, but… but if it lets me be closer to you, then it’s what I want. I’m human, though. You’ll outlive me, and then what?”

She smiles at him, a tear in her eyes. “Then I’ll love our daughter because she reminds me of you. Then I’ll remember the way you made me feel. No different from any other widow. There’s no one in the world that I’d rather tie my soul to than you, the man that taught me what love is. The man who taught me what it is to care about a person for more than what they could do for me.”

A tear rolls down her cheek, and it’s mirrored in the man she loves. In several hours, she’ll leave Blackgrove.

He smiles at her through the tears and asks, “Tell me what to do, my love. There’s nothing in the world I want more than to be married to the woman of my dreams.”

As the female Fae looks down at the house in the woods where her husband and daughter lay, protected only by her handmaiden, she understands why the High Fae refuse to marry humans. Even now, her husband’s longing tears at her resolve. She knows that what she is doing is right for the world. For her daughter and husband. Even for herself.

It doesn’t make it any easier, though. The ache in her chest is more than she ever expected to feel. The tears that stream down her cheek are the only ones she’s cried for as long as she can remember.

You cannot mourn the loss of something if you never loved it. And those two fragile people in that house are the only things she’s ever loved. More than power. More than riches. More than rightness. The former Queen of Shadows chose to have a weakness, and now she has to leave it behind.

Chapter 45

The war that will come is inevitable.

It is what happens after that is unknown.

~Calyr the Gold, A History of Magic and Dragons

I stand on thecliff outside the cave that Cole and I fell asleep in. Dawn is coming. A hint of light spreading across the world. The wind this high up the mountain whips at my hair as I stand on the rocks completely naked. Vulnerable and terrified that I’m going to make a mistake. The way I’d felt with him this evening had been so perfect. It only drives home the reality that my decision today decides everything that happens afterward.

The plans are set. My future is squarely in my hands. Unlike ever before in my life, every moment from this point on is entirely my choice. I could walk away. I’m strong enough to protect myself anywhere in the world except maybe Draenyth now. I could abandon my promise to Hazel and run away tosome far-off corner of the world. But that would mean that she would die. First because I hurt her and then because I abandoned her this close to the end.

I could take Cole up on his offer. To run away with him. To let him fly us so far away that no one could find us. We could live every night like it was last night. Just the two of us in an otherwise empty world. Our magic and our bond could be as real as it was last night. Hazel would die. Cole would have to abandon his goals. And the world would never heal.

That’s what it all comes down to, doesn’t it? Hazel and the world. Do we choose to honor our responsibilities? Do we fix the things we have broken? Or do we choose to ignore them and run away together?

I feel him, that light brushing against my vulnerability. The bond that only grew last night. “What are you doing out here?” Cole asks softly.

“Thinking. Dawn’s almost here,” I say, my eyes going to where the sun is peeking over the bits of cloud just below us.

“Reconsidering my offer?” he asks as he moves to stand next to me.

I nod without looking at him. “I don’t want to walk away from you, Cole. I don’t want to leave.”

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