Page 93 of Shade of Ruin

“That is a question that only a noble such as your betrothed would have appropriate answers for. I don’t pretend to know theeffects of things such as war.” He spreads his hands and gives a bow of the head. “I’m simply a butler.”

The correct answer. The one that Casimir would approve of. More importantly, the one that wouldn’t have him killed or brutalized. These two had lived within this world where pain and death were always just one mistaken comment away.

“I’ll have to ask Cole then,” I say, understanding the need to brush the discussion away. And as if saying his name had summoned him, he walks into the room with two thin wooden sticks in his hands and a wide smile on his face.

“Now, let’s try this again,” he says with more enthusiasm than I’ve seen since we started attempting to dance. I take a deep breath and give him a nod, even though I have no idea what he expects to do with those sticks.

“Nevan is going to play the song. You’re going to move to the rhythm as if we were dancing, but I want you to listen to me instead of Nevan. I’m going to be beating the rhythm much louder than the piano. Does that make sense?”

I can’t help but look at the man that has changed everything in my world and give him a wide grin. He wasn’t there when my life originally changed, but he’s been there every step of the way afterward. And now he’s going to force me to learn to dance in a ballroom, something that I’d never imagined possible.

I’ve seen him do terrible things. Murder means nothing to him. Ruining the harpy’s life rather than killing her was far crueler than I would have been. He is just as much a High Fae as his father, but there is so much kindness in him. And he’s trying to carry the very world on his shoulders.

Yet, when I close my eyes at night, it’s not always him I see. Even when he softly snores beside me. Sometimes, it’s the Shade and the dark power he wields. The way he’s tempted me and touched me in ways that terrify and excite me.

I’m betrothed to Cole and indebted to the Shade, and I know that at some point, I’m going to have to choose a side. And I don’t know which one I’ll follow.

One day, the Shade is going to force my hand, and Rhion’s words only bring the issue to the forefront of my mind. But it’s not today, and today, I’m going to enjoy being tortured by dancing.

“It won’t ever make sense, but let’s do it anyway,” I say with a grin.

I glance down at the blood that’s still wet on the floor from Rhion. Something that none of us have even bothered to address. The Prince of Steel was almost killed right here only a few minutes ago, and we’re going right back to dancing lessons. That’s what my life has become.

One where dancing takes priority over the emotions of having been in a life or death fight with an Immortal. We completely brushed over the fact that Cole owes a debt to the Shade. And that the Shade will probably begin calling in debts. That a war is coming and Rhion wanted to warn Cole.

Everything that’s been building is about to come crashing down in a crescendo, and while Cole seems to have it all under control, I can see things slipping. I can see that he’s just a little late. That he doesn’t have as much knowledge as he needs. We’re moving in the right direction, but can we move fast enough?

And what exactly is causing it all to build so quickly?

Cole will only have one answer: trust him. And I do trust him. More than anyone.

Chapter 39

I should envy Calyr. Only he, of the five of us, will survive this. Only he will slumber instead of return to the darkness. I don’t. My wife waits for me, and nothing would give me more joy than to hear her song again.

~Sidon the Strong, A History of Magic and Dragons

The scent of spicedamber is everywhere, and my body craves it. My eyes flash open as I realize how loudly that steady drumbeat is sounding in my ears. Fear rolls through me when I think about how strong my shadows might be, but when I look down at my fingers, only the thinnest tendrils of inky darkness flow from them.

I let out a sigh of relief, and it’s only then that I realize why everything smells like Cole. His body is pressed against mine, his arm wrapped around me. His naked chest peaks over the blanketas he softly snores beside me, and I want to lie back and drown in that scent.

In him.

His hand moves from my ribs, drifting lower until his fingers dig into my hip, and it takes everything in me to control the urges that well up inside me. Urges that would make wearing my mother’s ring completely useless because I’d smother the room in darkness.

Yet, I don’t push him away. The way his hand feels against my hip is something I’ve wanted so many times. If only it were against my skin instead of my undertunic.

I can’t stop my hips from shifting just a little, though. That seems to be enough to wake Cole up because his hand clings tighter to me. He lets out a soft groan, and his hand moves between my legs. Exactly like I’d wanted him to. I can’t stop the gasp from slipping out.

And then his hand’s gone. His eyes open, and shock fills his face. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I was having a dream…”

I’m having a hard time not begging him to put his hand back. To lift my undertunic off my body. To…

No. I can’t. The longer I’ve been here and the more I’ve used my powers, the more I know that if he were to do anything more than that briefest touch, that we’d have House of Flame guards breaking down the door to capture me.

“It’s okay,” I whisper, my heart doing its very best to beat out of my chest. “I wasn’t complaining.”

His eyes are dilated, and when he sits up, I notice the tent he’s making in the blanket. It’s not the first time I’ve noticed it, either. He stands up, the soft linen pants doing hardly anything to hide his arousal from me, and he quickly turns away. Going straight to the privy, he leaves me alone in bed. Alone with so much desire that it’s hard to even move.

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