Page 47 of Shade of Ruin

In the very center, a circular tower rises so high into the air that I wonder if it ever ends. Made of a black stone so dark that it looks to be hidden in shadows. That fiery wind whips around it, tearing at it, but the tower stands tall, unbroken and unwavering. I can’t stop looking at that tower in my mind’s eye. It’s so familiar. Like I know it from somewhere.

My heart shudders suddenly as an emotion reverberates through me. Fear. Undeniable terror. It rips through me like I’m watching my death.

My eyes flash open, and I’m looking at Cole, the image of that mental landscape is forgotten as reality floods me with confusion. Cole… changes. Starting with his lips, his face becomes rough stone, and in an instant, he pulls back. He takes a full step away from me, breaking the connection.

The flames and shadows around us disappear as I look at Cole and see the stone that covers his face and neck.I know what it feels like to have that stone instead of skin. That’s when I realize what happened.

That was his fear. Not mine.

Fear makes his Steel magic work. Just like revulsion would make my shadows work. He’s panting, and I can’t stop feeling that terror race through me. It overwhelms every other emotion.

“What was that?” I whisper.

His breath is coming out ragged, and slowly, the stone turns back into flesh as he gets control over himself. The painful expression on his face fades back into the cold look he’s given me so often since we first met. “It was… startling.” The words are shaky, and they don’t ring with honesty like I’d expect from a male that had just gone throughthatwith me.

“You were startled?” I ask incredulously. “You’re starting this betrothal with lies?”

He gives me that smile that only tells me he’s annoyed. “The entire betrothal is a lie…Maeve.I don’t know why you’d expect me to trust you suddenly. Have you paid those debts yet?”

I’d felt him. All of him. No, that’s not true. In that single kiss, we were a single person. Not like how people talked about weddings or even lovemaking in Blackgrove. No, this was something very different. Even now, when I look into those eyes that still hold glimmers of the molten fire that had been there moments ago, I feel like I should be able to reach out and touch his soul with mine.

Why had he pulled away from that? There was nothing terrifying about it.

That’s when it all clicks into place. The secrets. He’d thought that I would find out the things that he’s kept hidden from everyone. Especially me. He’d been terrified that I’d find out whatever he’s hiding, and that’s why he pulled away.

“Fine. Keep your secrets.” I smile at him and take the two steps toward him, crossing the gap between us. I don’t know what’s pushing me to move like this, but I put my hand on the center of his chest. He moves as fast as lightning, almost like he was in a fight, and his fingers wrap around my wrist.

He doesn’t hurt me. As soon as his flesh touches mine, there’s a shadow of that moment we shared. Not completely one person, but when I look into his eyes, I can feel the weight on his shoulders. There’s no doubt that he wants peace from the things that haunt his dreams. I said the right thing. Just like I need power and protection, he needs someone to help carry the weight on his shoulders.

His heart beats faster, but he doesn’t pull my hand away. “Don’t, Maeve.” The way he says it, it’s more of a plea than an order.

My nails dig into his chest, not hard enough to hurt him, but enough that some emotions that are desperate to find a way out of me escape my fingertips. Inky shadows twist down my fingers and onto his chest. They crawl upward toward his head, slowly spinning and whirling as they climb his neck, as they caress his skin.

Something about this ritual is letting me use magic even though the ring on my finger should prevent it. Not as much as I would like. Not as much as I would have if I took it off. It’s enough that I realize there’s no anger inside me even after the lies.

I watch my shadows cling to his skin. I know what they feel like. Feather-light. Damp like the morning mists. Sticky and clingy with no weight at all.

“I don’t know what this ritual is supposed to be like,” I say with a sly smile. “Cole, if you felt what I felt, you know your words had power. We may not be married, but we’re not separate anymore.”

I move my hand up higher, and he lets me. When my fingertips move through the shadows and press against his throat, he whispers, “No, we’re not.”

My nails caress his skin, my shadows following me and hiding my hands. I move in a way that I’ve never moved before, yet it feels so natural. It feeds the drumming in my core. The ache that I’ve felt every time I needed to tease shadows from my fingertips.

I can hear Cole’s heartbeat racing while mine feels calm. Even the quiet wild of the woods wouldn’t let me feel this serenity. Right now, I’m in control. Cole is the strongest person in the world, and right now, I’m in control. Then I see his eyes. Instead of the molten fire that had been there during our ritual or the ice blue that is normally there, his eyes feel dull. Darkness seems to coat the ice blue, and I don’t know what it means.

He leans down as if to kiss me again, and I suddenly understand. That darkness is desire in them. It’s desperate lust. My shadows are controlling him, and he’s doing what I wish he’d do.

It’s wrong. I may have the power to control him, but I refuse to do it. I take a step back, the shadows that had poured from my fingertips fading away into nothing, and I say, “Not now. You have your secrets, and I have my debts.” I turn around and leave him there, but not before saying, “Get some sleep, Cole.”

Then I walk into the trees, and he doesn’t follow.

Chapter 23

Power of any sort is a double-edged blade. The wielder will always be cut just as her enemy is,

but she has the opportunity to embrace the blade’s edge.

There is no warrior that has not been wounded.

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