Page 46 of Shade of Ruin

I can’t help but smile, and when he pulls his hand away from my cheek, he turns back to the stream. I can’t decide whether this feels more like an ending or a beginning with the tension in the air.

More than anything, I can’t figure out why it feels so bittersweet.

The moon is high in the sky when we stand alone by the river. Darian and Lee are far away, leaving us to a ritual that’s more personal than I had expected. When humans are betrothed, half the time, the future bride and groom aren’t even in the same room together.

There’s nothing human about this, though. “Repeat after me,” he says.

We stand facing each other wearing the same things that we’ve worn for weeks. Messy hair and filthy bodies that definitely could use a bath. The moon is nowhere near full, but it seems to bathe the world in light tonight. Like the very air is glowing with anticipation.

We hold each other’s hands, palm to palm, and I have the strangest feelings running through me. So many feelings rush through me I’m almost frozen in place. Cole’s hands are warm while the air brushes over us with a bit of the chill from the mountaintops, leaving goosebumps over my skin.

Cole’s body is radiating so much heat that it comes off him in waves, distorting the surrounding air, and I wonder what it’d be like if I weren’t wearing my mother’s ring. Still, I recognize the faint bits of shadow beginning to swirl around me. I can’t control how my emotions rage inside me, either. When I look at Cole, I understand more of what the Shade was talking about desire. Because I want Cole in ways I’ve never truly wanted anyoneelse. Not even when the Shade taught me to use magic compares to the throbbing inside me right now. Not even that night in Aerwyn, when the Shade held me in place and teased me.

Cole’s not doing anything except holding my hand, but part of me is drawn to him, like my shadows want to touch him, to wash away the struggles that he feels. Like the darkness inside me is the only thing that could heal the pains he feels.

More than that, though, I feel a sense of peace. It’s almost like I’m running through the woods, tracking a deer. Everything inside me, even the desire, feels so unimportant compared to that peace.

Cole’s grin is unquestionable. A smile so wide it looks strange on him. Underneath that, there’s a sense of pure confidence that pulls at me, making me want him even more. Flames flicker to life around us, mixing with the tiny shadows that have been swirling around me already. A dance of dark and light.

“I offer myself to you,” he says, his voice low and rough, like he’s having to struggle to maintain the calmness in it.

“I offer myself to you,” I repeat. When I say the words, I immediately understand what he’s struggling with. The words come out strong, harsh, and smokey. Almost a hiss as the emotions that boil inside me beg to be let loose. As those words flow from my lips, I can sense the magic in them. Vibrations that are indescribable float around us, and the flames roar to life. The liquid shadows expand, growing in power and size as they become more than I should ever be able to create with my mother’s ring on. The very air surrounding us seems to vibrate with power, separating us from the rest of the world.

His fingers curl into my palm, and his nails press against my flesh. I can feel the tips becoming talons, but they don’t bite into me. My hands move instinctively, following along with his, my nails pressing against his palms, and they feel stronger, too. Almost as though they were turning into talons as well.

Every emotion that’s building inside me explodes in intensity, and it flows through my fingertips into him. “I will protect you,” he breathes, his eyes never leaving mine.

I don’t know how I know what I’m supposed to say, but it’s certainly not “I will protect you”. Instead of the normal ice blue of his eyes, they’re molten, like liquid fire. Glowing red and orange with specks of white.

“I will help you carry the weight,” I say with more confidence than I should feel. Cole’s eyes open wide, and the flames around us both flare, encasing us even further and blotting out the rest of the world. I don’t know how, but my words fit into a strange song. A dance of words as much as the flames and shadows that are roiling around us.

“I will help you become strong. I will show you your own strength.” The cadence of his words changes, making it more staccato. More imperative. More… powerful.

My heart sings back to those words. I know that there is absolute truth in them. Honesty in a way that I’ve never experienced with Cole. They’re the only truths I’ve ever wanted. Powerful and protected.

“I will help you find peace. I will show you what it is to breathe easily.” The reverberations of our words blend into the dance of our powers, and nothing outside of our bubble matters. Nothing else exists. A world of shadow and flame and words of truth.

I feel a new sensation flowingintomy palms. Excitement. A need to move. And… something else.

Cole’s smile shifts ever so slightly. The grin turns seductive, and when the next words come out of his mouth, they’re heady and lusty. “I will make you mine.” And an unsaid word.Soon. It lingers on the blazing wind that roars around us.

My heart is racing. Pure and unadulterated excitement flowing through me like a drug. Overwhelming everything else. My body thrums with a brand new source of power. A brand new rhythmthat isn’t a jar of angry lightning or that deep drum from my core. No, this is in my chest, and it’s begging me to move.

“I will make you mine,” I repeat. Just like Cole, I don’t say, “Soon”, but it’s there. For a half second, the words whisper together as we stare into each other’s eyes. All this power inside me aches for what comes next. I know I could pull back right now, and Cole is giving me time to recognize that, stretching out the ritual and letting the power stretch for just a little longer. I could turn away from the betrothal. As long as the last step doesn’t occur, it will all be meaningless.

But I want it. I wanthim.

When he cranes his neck down toward me, I don’t hesitate to move toward him. When his lips press against mine, a surge of power flows through me. Even when I’ve taken my mother’s ring off, I’ve never felt anything like this. It’s so much I could get lost in it.

Then I see Cole. Right now, I could have shut my eyes and known exactly what he looks like. Every hair on his head. Every finger. The way his lips press against mine.

And the way he wants more than a kiss.

In this moment, we are a single person. His hair is mine. His fingers. His lips. That power that flows through his veins. All of him is mine, and I am his as well. A melding together of our realities. Of our very beings.

I’d thought that truth had circled us when we’d said those words. The only moments that we’ve been completely honest since we met. Now, I know that there can’t be lies. Not when we’re connected like this. Two people sharing one soul cannot lie to each other.

When I close my eyes, I see something strange in my mind. A foreign image of a terrible landscape. Winds so hot they burn anything alive blow past me. They’re so hot they’ve turned the desert sand into glass. Shattered glass edges rise everywhere,some waist high and others taller than a cottage. Twisted, broken things that create a series of pathways through that deserted landscape.

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