Page 45 of Shade of Ruin

“Because it’s guaranteed loyalty. Trusting another Immortal is not an easy thing. Everyone has a purpose behind their relationships. It is an unbreakable alliance in a world where every handshake or smile is probably a lie.”

I don’t know how I feel about that. I don’t know if I can even comprehend it, to be honest. How could anyone decide to tie themselves to another person for possibly forever and not love them? How could they raise children without love?

“But you and Lee trust Cole, and Cole trusts you. It feels like permanently bonding your soul to someone is a little over-the-top for a little loyalty.”

Darian raises an eyebrow at me. “Cole and my friendship and loyalty goes back so long that I doubt it’s very common. And it started when we were children, before we were pushing for power. In nearly a thousand years, we’ve never expanded our circle of loyalty beyond the three of us.”

I frown. A thousand years of not trusting the people around him. He built an entire village for people he doesn’t let in. I guess it’s not surprising that he doesn’t let his walls down around me.

“How is it supposed to make me feel?” I can’t help but think back on the way that the Shade made me feel. The way he’d played my body against me so easily.

Darian shrugs. “I have no idea. I’ve never been betrothed, and I certainly haven’t been married. I just know the theory behind it, and I know that Cole is struggling with the idea of being tied to someone like that. Hence,” he spreads his arms and looks around, “our delightful trip to see the gryphon.”

When I’m quiet, Darian continues walking back to camp, and I let myself fall into my thoughts. Questions plague my mind as I try to weave my way through hints and puzzle pieces. It all boils down to trust. Do I trust Darian? Do I trust Cole? I run my finger over the four black marks on my wrist, and I could swear that I feel a tie to the Shade. That strangely comforting feel of him touching me.

I have to trust something or someone, and everyone that has proven to be helpful is telling me I should do this. Iknowthat I’ll die if I walk into Draenyth without a plan. Is this the only plan that will work? Is there any other way to keep me safe in a place where humans are food and my magic will put a target on my back?

I… don’t know.

Chapter 22

Gethin’s losing it. The bastard is going to attack someone even though he’s older than the rest of us. He knows the consequences. His troops are too strong, and no one has the strength to win against him. Brenna’s numbers are too small and I’m weak to him. Maybe if we all worked together, but no. That coward Roderic refuses to speak with any of us. I don’t know what to do at this point…

~King Casimir, personal journals

Cole is standing onthe edge of a stream when I find him. He’s staring down at it and doesn’t make any motion to let me know he heard me approaching, but when I move to stand next to him, he doesn’t seem surprised.

“We have a ritual to do tonight,” I say softly. The sun is slowly advancing toward the horizon, and already the shadows of thetrees are long, laying like black logs over the stream. The scent of rain is on the wind, and by tomorrow, there will be a storm covering the countryside in a torrential downpour.

We’ll be in Draenyth by tomorrow. Warm and dry in Cole’s home.

“Yes, we do,” he whispers back. I can’t help but feel like I need to comfort him. I don’t understand the process enough to be afraid or even very nervous. “Once the moon is in the sky, we can do it. It’s still several hours from now. Did Darian explain it to you?”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Not the actual ritual. Just the purpose. And why you’re not exactly excited.”

“We have to,” he pauses, his shoulders slumping, “bind our souls. Loosely. Physically, we’ll say words, let our magic touch, and kiss, and that’s all. Nothing scary or dangerous. Even for you. But…” He lets the thought linger in the air, and I don’t respond.

Yes, this is the right decision. He wouldn’t feel like this if he was trying to take advantage of me. If he was trying to trick me into doing something I wouldn’t want to do, he wouldn’t be like this. He’s more nervous than I am, and that’s not something he could fake.

“I’m going to be different around you, Maeve,” he finally says.

I turn away from the stream to look at him. “You called me Maeve.”

He nods, not looking at me. “You won’t be Wyrdling to me after we do this. You’ll be important to me in ways that I can’t describe. I don’t know if you’ll feel the same way since you’re not fully Immortal.” He turns to look at me. “I won’t be able to let anything bad happen to you. You’ve been afraid that I was lying to you this entire time.”

I try to interrupt him, but he raises a hand and ignores me. “You should have been wary of being with me. You should bewary of everyone, Maeve. Everyone. Damn us all, you should still be wary of me because this is temporary. But I know myself. I won’t be able to let you be hurt. You’ll beveryimportant.”

The intensity of those words. The heaviness. This is the most heartfelt and serious conversation we’ve had. Everything else has either been annoyance or banter or training. This is something else entirely. This is the man who carries all the weight on his shoulders. The one who might be cracking.

I know nothing about him or that weight, but somehow, I know the weight he carries won’t be only his for long.

For the first time, I stop and recognize what he’s doing for me. Until now, I’ve just been following him while he walked back home, but this is more than that. He’s sacrificing something more than a bit of time to train me or to explain this new world. He’s… He’s making himself vulnerable for me, and after the past two months, I know that’s not easy for him.

All to protect me. Maybe it’s because he’s trying to protect someone with my bloodline or maybe it’s something else entirely. It doesn’t matter.

I do something that surprises even me. Putting my hand on his arm, I feel the physical strength and the emotional weakness. “I believe you, Cole. Thank you for everything you’ve done so far. I know I haven’t been exactly appreciative, and I should have been.”

He nods, and then he does something that surprises me even more. He puts his palm against my cheek and looks into my eyes, surprisingly soft. “You’ve been a pain in the ass, Maeve, but it’s been interesting at least.”

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